06 Oct 05Video iPod. Video iPod! VIDEO IPOD!

The most recent rumors out of Apple indicate that next week’s event will not feature a video iPod, but instead will showcase new Power Macs and PowerBooks and possibly a revised standard iPod.

That has not stemmed the tide of video iPod fever that has gripped the Macintosh world. The web is now replete with Photoshop mock-ups, bloggers have speculated wildly on how, exactly, such a device would work, and one guy even had the words “VIDEO IPOD” tattooed on his ass.

At least that’s what he said and… well, we just decided to take him at his word.

Analysts and reporters continue to cover the device like it was the Sasquatch or Loch Ness Monster – disproved by science, but still thriving in the spotlight of popular myth.

The Wall Street Journal’s Walt Mossberg, for example, spent fifteen minutes on CNBC this morning doing nothing but screaming the words “VIDEO IPOD!!!” and hopping up and down excitedly in his seat, squealing like a little girl.

Fifteen minutes.

Apple has been unable to calm down excited fans and journalists who are now desperate for the device.

According to sources, the company is looking into actually adding a video iPod to its upcoming announcements.

“We may just slap one together over the weekend,” an engineer said. “We have a lot of skunk works projects here and about eight of them are actually working on video iPods.

“I mean, it’d just be a rev 0. It’s not like it has to work very well or anything.”

Apple followers will know if the company’s weekend was successful if on Monday it adds 15 minutes to next week’s special event.

42 Responses to “Video iPod. Video iPod! VIDEO IPOD!”

  1. Huh? says:

    I jump up and down anyway…

    Mainly cuz I’m first…

    Me and my pants.


  2. Huh? says:

    I mean, I’m happy either is coming(pod/mac or lewd thought of your choice), but my pants…

    Well, pants…

    Pants just want to have fun.


  3. Aimon says:

    Awww crap……third.

  4. croikle says:

    4… and I’m wearing pants!

  5. KingOfNoPants says:

    5th and

    I lack pants

  6. They’re just pants; why not give em a chance?

  7. My pants can beat up your pants.

    Just thought I’d mention that.

  8. Mike says:

    It seems unlikely that Apple would let everyone down now there’s so much hype =)

    It’s the self-fulfilling prophecy…

  9. me says:

    Hopping up and down, shouting “eleventh, eleventh, eleventh”

  10. ho bag says:

    i will take 11.

    thanks for the pre-11 shouting.

  11. Nessie says:

    “disproved by science..”

    Steady on old chap, we monsters have feelings too, as well you should know!

  12. burlylizhurley says:

    wow…they’re gonna add 15 minutes to next week!

    That’s what the big announcement is….SJ will announce he has become a timelord and in order for us to not worry about slow PB’s and delivery waits he’s giving us all an extra 15 mins each week.

    One thing…can they make sure it’s not while I’m at work.

  13. greenacres says:

    Bloody hell, if I had stayed up 8 more minutes, I would have had the number 1 spot. %$#@%$&^$%#&&^*%^

  14. ijit says:

    as a brit the comments about pants are a little worrying it kinda sounds like your all really pleased you finally graduated from nappies to normal underwear…

  15. Lil' Breeches says:

    What ever happened to the ipod toaster oven?

  16. UhhhDude says:

    I, for one, welcome our new iPod video overlords.

    Especially since I really could use an extra 15 minutes in my time-space continuum.

    Anyone seen my pants?

  17. Del says:

    I am here to announce that the new iFlame video is shipping. Now you can record and watch yourself in high resolution full color iFlaming anything you wish. You can even send your recordings to your friends so they can learn from your techniques while they are activley using their iFlame.

    I believe this technology will revolutionize the skill we see in iFlame use. We already have a line of training videos for sale that should help new users of the iFlame learn all the techniques and skills they need to survive (literally).

    Thank you for your support.

  18. Zeb says:

    only 17 comments.

    could this beeeeee…THE NANO-POST???????

    naaaaa, some group of suckers always ruins it.

    Oh, and once again, Huh? (and his pants) wins F-I-R-S-T.

    Feed that to your coworkers at the watercooler!

  19. Dexter Span says:

    spandex pants on a video iPod ….. mmmmmmm

  20. Anonymous says:

    VIDEO IPOD is the new BUTTSEX

  21. normal means says:

    Is there any doubt as to what the extra 15 minutes are for? The ipod rumor generater! Some sources say it has already been released.

  22. John Moltz says:

    Pants! Pants!

    Let’s sing the praises of pants!

  23. Del says:

    Who’s got their emergency pants?

  24. Psyko says:

    Do Dogcows ever wear pants?



  25. Del says:

    Dogcows usually wear skirts.

  26. Neilsen 'Blood on the axe' Marley or Bob for long. says:

    CARS Help Desk has been kidnapped!

    Do you think they’ve taken Moltz as well?

    Cue Invisible Choir Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah etc.etc.

    Message to the Kidnappers, we will pay for the Help Desk but not Moltz.

  27. Sorry fellas, our sources are saying no video ipod.

    However, Apple will not dissapoint!

    check it out.


  28. Dave says:

    Does a dog wear more in the Summer or the Winter?

  29. Bob says:

    Summer, of course. In the winter he wears a coat, but in the summer he wears a coat and pants.

  30. Psyko says:

    Ah, Clarus is a female isn’t she. A skirt would make sense.

    Dave and Bob, we are talking about Dogcows, not dogs.


  31. Del says:

    All Dogcows are female, it’s in the faq that used to be posted on Apple’s site. I don’t know if it’s still there.

    Also I don’t think we’ll get a help desk because something tells me that Moltz took the crew to see Wallace and Gromit.

  32. Psyko says:

    My mistake, Bob, you’re right, the subject was pants.

    I will go in the corner andÂ…


  33. iBode says:

    If all dogcows are female, how do they reproduce?


    Or do they Copy and Paste?

  34. Huh? says:

    Copy and paste.

    Just like pants.


  35. iPods have socks, iPod vIdeos will have pants. Makes sense.

    Personally, I have the words “Sneak peek at Windows Vista, look inside for details!” tattooed on my ass parts, just above my ass nipples, with a big red arrow pointing right to my billionaire anus!

  36. MacGal says:

    On October 12th, the big announcement that Steve will make is that he saved a bunch of money on his car insurance by switching to Geiko.

    …..and if theres time after the juggling act, he may announce the new iPod Video along with the iPod video pants. Maybe.

  37. Dogbull says:

    I’ll take care of those dogcows for you. We’ll have lots of little nippers in no time.

  38. dmaq says:

    you suck shut up

  39. iBode says:

    Look, dogcalves!

    Wow, they mature quickly.

  40. Psyko says: