18 Jan 06Mac Users Mourn The PowerBook.


While not technically dead, the venerable PowerBook’s days are numbered, as the awfully-named MacBook Pro is set to take its place.

Throughout the Macintosh community, PowerBook users and lovers have expressed their deep sentiments of loss in the past several days over Apple’s erstwhile professional laptop.

In a tasteful ceremony earlier today, former PowerBook user Steve Rutter buried his beloved laptop in his back yard, marking the spot with a simple white cross.

Between tears, Rutter said “I… I can’t believe it’s gone. It was a 1.5 GHz aluminum model and still seemed like it had so much life left in it.

“I really have no idea why I buried it. It still worked and everything. Still… Steve said the PowerBook is dead, so…

Walking slowly away from the grave with his head bowed Rutter stopped suddenly.

“Wait a minute, what the hell am I going to use until February?”

On the rear window of his 1988 Chevy Camaro, Shaker Heights, Ohio, resident Brad Schiff placed a tribute to the PowerBooks he’s owned over the years.

“PowerBook 100,” Schiff said, taking a swig out of a bottle of fortified malt liqour. “That was the one that started it. 16 MHz with a max of 8 megs of RAM. Then the 180c, the 1400… the… the…

Schiff began to choke up as he continued his litany.

“The 2400! The Pismo! The first TiBook! Ahhh, dammit all to hell! Why do the good ones always have to die young?!”

Suddenly getting a wild-eyed look, Schiff threw the bottle away.

“I’m gonna kill that MacBook Pro! I’m gonna kill it!”

Attemting to charge vaguely in the direction of the Apple campus some 2,500 miles away, Schiff was quickly restrained by several of his friends, who shouted “Don’t do it, man! It ain’t worth it!”

“I’m gonna cut you!” Schiff screamed. “I’m gonna cut you, MacBook Pro! You hear me?!”

Apple declined to comment on whether or not the MacBook Pro heard Schiff.

No Responses to “Mac Users Mourn The PowerBook.”

  1. Alan says:

    First! Or close.

  2. Wysz says:

    PowerBook, I’m gonna miss you.

  3. Nick says:

    Third, and my first.

    I will always refer to the MacBook Pro as a PowerBook

  4. MacBook Pro says:

    Of course I heard him. And I’m getting a restraining order.

  5. fatbo says:

    5th, bitches.

  6. You would get another restraining order. Stinking Intel whore.

  7. appletweak says:

    I’m so seventh. And you’ll have to pry my PowerBook from my cold dead hands.

  8. croikle says:

    7. I’d probably call my MBP a PowerBook, if I had one.

  9. Nxxx says:

    You’ve gone too far this time Moltz, everyone knows that’s a eighty-seven and a half Camaro.

  10. iBode says:

    I say the PowerBook and MacBook Pro should have a duel to the death out behind Apple headquarters.

    And of course I set up for:

  11. iBode says:

    I feel somewhat hollow now.

    I’ll go back to pretending to have a life….

  12. Streetrabbit says:

    Moltz is that your car?

    Funny stuff. Loved the bit about the dwarves and the S&M. An elephant…who’d’ve believed that was even possible?

  13. Will Feldhusen says:

    I definitely heard Schiff. He was loud.

  14. Slowpoke says:

    I can come up with a better name than MacBook Pro:

    ProMac Book

    ProBook Mac

    iProBook

    Book iPro

    iNtelBook

    iLaptop

    Laptop Pro

    Computer Book

    iComputer

    iLite

    Powerbook XP

    Microsoft Powerbook

    iMicrosoft

    iRobot

    to name but a few of my many first rate suggestions, and if anyone at apple is reading: no, i’m not available for hire.

  15. Composer says:

    Dual-Core Intel? Thinner? Heat Conducting Aluminum? I think we need a few more letters here…

    MaTcHBook Pro

    Lighting a fire on your lap (is that like “on top of your ass”?) since 2006.

    Heh!

  16. Del says:

    I’d have been ok with the MacBook, it’s the Pro part of the name I dislike. Two syllable names are generally preferred by marketing because they are easier to remember. I always figured that was why so many one syllable mac names had i added in front to make them two syllable.

    Just MacBook you fools!

  17. Ergo says:

    Have you noticed the similarity between MacB¬

  18. Abe Lincolnlogski says:

    Does this mean the iBook moniker will be replaced by “MacBook Home” or “MacBook not-so-much-Pro”?

  19. Hey – if the PowerBook only knew there would be Intel Inside” stickers on the MacBook Pros, it would be rolling over in its grave!

    (Oh, and Del, PowerBook has three syllables. So much for your marketing theory.)

  20. Moof The Dogcow says:

    If you drink enough fortified malt liquor like Schiff, PowerBook can be slurred with 2 syllables.

    It’s like us residents of Toronto who say “Tranah”

    Not… not that we drink a lot of malt liquor.

  21. Huh? says:

    Now, if it was actually a MacBook ‘Pro’, it would be able to run the ‘Pro’ apps. Final Cut Pro, Motion, DVD Studio Pro… But Nooooooo… They’re all left out in the cold.

    like my pants… in the cold… um..

    yeah..

    moo

  22. Brent says:

    OK, I know this was meant to be funny, but I had to smirk at Schiff’s “Why do the good ones always have to die young?!”

    A laptop line that’s lasted for _fifteen years_? Man, that’s a long time. It’s had its time.

    Abe Lincolnlogski: In all seriousness, I’m betting the new iBook will be named just “MacBook”. Boring, but simple, and easy to remember.

  23. Aaron says:

    I hate to say it but I think “MacBook Pro” makes perfect sense. Although it’s true that back in the ’80s it didn’t start out that way, in the last five years or so the “i” line has been the Apple consumer line, and the “Power” line has been their professional line. It makes sense to change “Power” to “Pro” now that they’re no longer using PowerPC chips. The Power Macs become Macintosh Pro (I imagine), and the PowerBooks become “Book Pro”, except that’s really generic sounding and doesn’t say it’s a Mac. So “MacBook Pro” makes sense.

    And yes, they could have come up with a more attractive name, but not one that was more descriptive of the product.

  24. Nick says:

    Ahh, but it has been a PowerBook since 1991, but didn’t have a PowerPC until 1995. So why should leaving the PowerPC have any affect?

  25. Del says:

    PowerBook does have 3 syllables. I need to lay off the hootch and stop drinking.

    If they do change the iBook to MacBook I can imagine the nightmare for IT staff trying to figure out what model someone has. Maybe to clarify they’ll call it MacBook Plastic

  26. Del says:

    To think AtAT might not be around to see the day when Apple owns Disney.

    Walt Disney Co. (DIS) is in serious talks to buy Pixar Animation Studios (PIXR), the maker of the hit movies Toy Story and Finding Nemo among others, two years after Pixar said it would end their profitable film distribution partnership, The Wall Street Journal reported Thursday.

    Under the deal, the Journal says, Pixar CEO Steve Jobs, also chief at Apple Computer (AAPL), would become the largest individual shareholder in Disney. Citing unnamed people familiar with the plan, the Journal said Disney would pay a nominal premium to Pixar’s current market value of $6.7 billion.

  27. homey says:

    Since the iMac is still the iMac, I would guess the iBook would still be the iBook. But if they want to follow the “Pro” model to the consumer side of the lineup, how about HomeyBook, or MacBook Homey?

  28. Filling in for Spell Czech says:

    “the awfully-named MacBook Pro”

    In English, one does not hyphenate adverb clauses. The quick tip on this rule is that adverbs often end in “ly.”

    “fortified malt liqour”

    The letters “o” and “u” have been transposed in the word “liquor.”

  29. John Moltz says:

    Yes, in English. But in German it’d be one word – awfullynamed (actually, I believe it’s “awfullynamedgeruckbezeiten”) – so I decided to split the difference.

  30. MPLS Guy says:

    Powerbook—Mac Book Pro

    iBook—Mac Book

    Tablet—Mac Book Mini

    PDA—Newt/iNewt

    PowerPC—Mac Pro

    iMac—iMac-the i brand i stoo popular.

    Mac Mini—Mac Mini

  31. gordo says:

    uh the macbooks cooler than the powerbook… unless they actually do cover it in stickers

  32. Hobbs says:

    Excellent post. But Camaro is missing an ‘Apple’ logo

  33. Actually, in German it would be two words, “schrecklich benannt” according to the translation widget.

    Regardless, neither your mistaken understanding of German nor your proprietorship of a rumors website allows you to rewrite the rules of English grammar. So you can not glibly decide to “split the difference.”

  34. supreme court says:

    Actually, I’d say proprietorship of this rumors website allows Moltz to rewrite whatever he wants to rewrite, at least within his venue. So gesetzt dem in Ihr Rohr und rauchen Sie es, “ausfüllend für Banntschechen.” And yes, the period goes inside the closing quotation mark, in American English (check your AP Stylebook); in the UK, it goes outside. So nicht sogar beginnen Sie. Geez, ein welches Kindermädchen. Go, Moltz.

  35. Walking Contradiction says:

    I heard the iBook will become the MacBook Amateur, to distinguish it from the MacBook Pro model.

    Yes, my shotgun is already loaded. Don’t even think of walking down my street after dark, MacBook. I too liked the PowerBook and swore to avenge it’s death! Vengence will be mine, you wannabe Winblows whore.

  36. supreme court at happy hour says:

    “it’s”???? Oh geez…h ere comes FIF Spell Czech again. Actually, in this case, we’re supportive.

  37. supreme court at happy hour says:

    Actually, because of the Kristofferson reference, we are going to suspend sentence upon Walking Contradiction. There ya go, Pilgrim.

  38. Ergo says:

    Have you noticed the similarity between MacB¬

  39. Lady MacBeth says:

    Okay, I’ll bite… what’s “MacB–,”?

Place your comment

Please fill your data and comment below.
Name
Email
Website
Your comment