Jobs Swallows A Bug.

Apple’s fortunes took a turn for the worse today as CEO Steve Jobs inadvertently swallowed a bug.

“Ack!” Jobs called out suddenly as he crossed the quad of the Apple campus.

Flapping his hands at his mouth and sticking his tongue out, Jobs reiterated as if for emphasis “Ack! Ack!

Senior Vice President of Worldwide Marketing Phil Schiller patted Jobs forcefully on the back, attempting to force the bug from him.

“What is it, Steve?” a concerned Chief Operating Officer Tim Cook asked, running up. “Are you OK?”

“I think he swallowed a bug,” Schiller explained.

Jobs nodded and pointed at Schiller, continuing to stick his tongue out and making a retching sound.

As Jobs continued to struggle with his dilemma, it was unknown how this would affect the day-to-day management of the company.

“STEVE?” Cook yelled not twelve inches from Jobs’ face. “DO YOU NEED ME TO TAKE OVER THE COMPANY?”

“He’s not deaf!” Schiller exclaimed. “He just swallowed a bug! And he’s going to be fine!”

Sources in the vegan community were unable to determine whether or not this would affect Jobs’ standing as a non-meat eater.

“Well, did he swallow it on purpose?” asked Angelica Nalley, owner of Grains-N-Things, a local vegan restaurant. “Because if he swallowed it by accident I think it’s fine.”

Other experts did not agree.

“Being a vegan is a very serious moral commitment,” said Ron Chives, editor of Vegan Monthly. “You can’t just swallow a bug and expect to get a free pass. Jobs’ vegan clock just got set back to zero.”

While Jobs was apparently not physically affected by ingesting the bug, his personal revulsion at the incident left him unable to function as Apple’s CEO for several minutes and shares of Apple were down 1.87 on the news.