Sources indiate that Senior Vice President of the iPod division Tony Fadell is hoping to turn Apple’s decision to build a second Cupertino campus to his advantage. If and when the iPod division moves into new digs, Fadell has requested he be designated a floor safety marshal for whatever floor his office is on.
Apple’s floor safety marshals are charged with directing other employees to exits in the event of a fire, earthquake or attack by killer robots.
“There are only eight floor marshals per floor,” Fadell said. “So, it’s a pretty coveted position. It looks really good on a resumé which is why I’ve made becoming a floor marshal part of my personal development plan.
“It’s a big responsibility, but sometimes you’ve just got to go for it.”
But Fadell’s unbridled ambition has raised the hackles of other Apple executives.
“Tony’s way out of line here,” said Chief Financial Officer Peter Oppenheimer. “He hadn’t been a senior vice president five minutes before he started bucking for floor marshal. There are others who have been waiting a lot longer to become floor marshals. People who’ve already taken the fire safety class, who know CPR and who – even though it’s not required – brought in their own flash lights.
Pulling out brand new 6 D-cell Maglite, Oppenheimer added “The ones they give you in the floor marshall kit are really crappy.
“And, yes, I’m talking about me. But I think Phil [Schiller]’s also taken the fire safety class.”
CEO Steve Jobs has so far chosen to stay on the sidelines of this particular power struggle as he is already reportedly embroiled in an argument between Senior Vice President of Industrial Design Jonathan Ive and Senior Vice President of Retail Ron Johnson over items purchased from the vending machine.
Look for our three-part series entitled “If A Snickers Doesn’t Fall But Then Is Knocked Down By A Baby Ruth, Who Owns The Snickers?”