17-Inch MacBook Pro Still Stupid Big.

Disturbing reports are coming in from Apple customers who have just purchased the recently released 17-inch MacBook Pro. According to these sources, the new laptop is just as stupid big as the 17-inch PowerBook it’s replacing.

“Apple simply has not corrected the overt stupid bigness of the 17-inch form factor, said Macworld magazine editor Jason Snell. “These laptops are so big as to be effectively unusable. It’s like someone threw up aluminum all over your desk. It’s ridiculous.”

Some sources had indicated that Apple was working on a technology that would have obviated the need to obey the Pythagorean theorem, allowing the company to pack a 17-inch diagonal screen into a 7 X 9-inch laptop on the MacBook Pro line. Apparently, that technology has not come to fruition.

“It’s troublesome that Apple let its customers down like this,” said former San Jose Mercury News columnist and noted Mac user Dan Gillmor. “We expect more from Apple than whining about the laws of mathematics.

“As it is, only the people who currently own 17-inch PowerBooks are going to want to use the 17-inch MacBook Pro,” said Gillmor. “And, sure, the people who were specifically waiting for Intel-based 17-inch Mac laptops. And maybe a couple of hundred thousand other people.

“But, for those of you who haven’t had a chance to lay hands on one of these things, let me just tell you, it is some kinda stupid big.”

According to sources, the 17-inch MacBook Pro is so stupid big that it can be easily bent by putting one end into a pair of vice grips and pulling very hard on the other end.

“I bet you can’t do that with a 12-inch iBook,” Snell said.

“Mostly because it’s plastic and it’d probably just snap like a stale cracker. But, still, shouldn’t we as Mac users be able to put our laptops into vice grips and attempt to bend them to no avail?

“I dunno. Maybe it’s just me.”

Apple failed to return numerous inquiries asking why the 17-inch MacBook Pro is so stupid big.