24 Apr 06MUG Member Wants OS 9 On Intel Roadmap.

Sources indicate that Randy Foss of the Stateline Macintosh Users Group has repeatedly asked Apple employees when OS 9 will be available on Intel. Much to the embarrassment of other members of his MUG, Foss simply will not let go of his pipe dream of a cooperative processing operating system without protected memory on Intel-based Macs.

“We all know they have the code, Foss said defiantly. “Ever hear of the Star Trek project? Steve Jobs is just trying to make money by forcing people to buy OS X.”

Ironically, Foss is demanding what some experts believe would be a $100-150 million project so he can retain his $200 investment in a 300 DPI scanner the size of an industrial air conditioner.

Stateline MUG president Ted Egner said “It’s hopeless trying to talk to Randy. He bought that scanner in 1995 and there isn’t an OS X driver for it. He refuses to spend the $75 to buy a new one. He just won’t acknowledge the fact that Apple doesn’t owe him an antiquated operating system on modern hardware.”

Egner said the Stateline MUG bylaws prevented him from expelling Foss.

“You know, we go to a lot of trouble to get Apple employees to come to our meetings and I hate to make them field Randy’s questions. But, sadly, we have to take everyone.”

Foss indicated that even if there were an updated driver for his scanner, he “wouldn’t want to switch away from a proven technology just to be on the bleeding edge.”

Foss also repeated the entirely unsupportable claim that “more and more people are switching back to OS 9 every day.”

“There was a big bank in Missouri that just switched back,” Foss said.

“You’ve been saying that for three years,” fellow MUG member Andy Warchowski said “and you can never produce an article about it.”

“The Apple-friendly media won’t report it!” Foss exclaimed, prompting his fellow MUG members to roll their eyes.

A spokesperson for Apple would only groan loudly when asked about Foss’ demand.

No Responses to “MUG Member Wants OS 9 On Intel Roadmap.”

  1. Ace Deuce says:

    Gee, I thought the staff would still be drinking, what with the Mariners being underachievers and all.

  2. Well maybe 1st that actually read it 1st? 😉

  3. Ace Deuce says:

    You read the article? Is that a prerequisite for posting a comment?

  4. Red Bradley says:

    This would be funnier if it wasn’t so true.

  5. croikle says:


    OS 9? Those freakin’ early adopters. I want System 6!

  6. Krabappel's son says:

    Wow, i just took a quick glance at NetNewswire and saw the title of this post. My jaw dropped to the keyboard! Then I saw the source. CAR. Ahah! 😀

  7. Carl says:

    “The Apple-friendly media won’t report it!”

    I need to get a tatoo of this.

  8. Ergo says:

    I remember switching to X. I made it three days and switched back. Then the big cats rolled out and clawed me to my senses. Now OS9 makes me run screaming from the room. (unless I’m running to a room with a windows box!)

  9. Ergo says:

    Now all I get to do is set it up for…

  10. GordonC says:


    I thank you.

  11. Second Best says:

    número twelve, if I’m as quick as a fox, and I like to think so.

  12. Nxxx says:

    Stand by your principles, Randy. There is too much of this rejection of recent technology and customs. Did you know that you HAVE to be a Freeman of the City of London, before they will allow you to drive sheep over London Bridge? How am I supposed to get any sheep I own (none) to North London?

  13. Somebody you thought you knew says:

    Nxxx: Pack them in your boot?

  14. OS94Evar says:

    OS 9 is still every bit as good as OS X! Bask in it’s retro-charm! Feel the platinumy goodness! Hear Ralph in all his depressing glory! Sher-lock! Sher-lock! Sher-lock!

  15. Anonymous Coward says:

    Holy crap. Dad? Is that you? I’m pretty sure your name isn’t Randy, though… *phew* ok, ya, my dad did that, took him FOUR FRICKIN THOUSAND YEARS (give or take) to finally switch. he only really switched when his old computer died and he HAD TO buy a new mac that wouldn’t run OS 9.

  16. Mpls Guy says:

    As a language arts teacher and all-around knit-picker of the English language, I am appalled at two things. One, Mr. Moltz did not take the time to proof his spoof. And second, none of the world’s harshest critics, CARS commenters, have taken the time to give Mr. Moltz the wedgie that he deserves. I do expect better.

  17. Language science teacher says:

    I am appalled at two things also, but they are differert than those.

  18. OS94Evar says:

    C’mon say it with me!


  19. UhhhDude says:

    Scanner? They still sell scanners? Why doesn’t he just upload his digital pictures to his hard drive and…

    Oh. I get it. He still has a film camera.

    A film camera? They still sell film cameras?

  20. preuf ridder says:

    Konw is TOO a word!

  21. Bill Gates says:

    I don’t get it.

  22. A II Brute says:

    Well that makes me want to request a driver for my new Canon Camera so that it will work on my Apple II. The Apple II has been stable for 25 years. 1995…sheesh this dude is soooo bleeding edge.

  23. blank says:

    Porting GS/OS to Intel comes first, then a ProDOS 8 driver for your Canon.

  24. Huh? says:

    Well, I’d just like to let everybody know that things are well in hand, and have been taken care of.

    I sent my Pants™ to bitch slap Randy Foss.

    Thank you.


  25. John Moltz says:

    [shatner] KOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNWWWWWW!!!! [/shatner]

    Oh, and I accidentally deleted someone’s comment about the typo that got trapped in the spam filter for some reason. Sorry about that to whoever it was.

  26. John Moltz says:

    Wait a minute, OS94Evar, isn’t that “No Control Strip, no peace. Know Control Strip, know peace”?

    Or, as we say it where I’m from, “Kown Control Strip, kown peace.”

  27. hondophred says:

    to mlps Guy:

    I hope you weren’t picking nits from your knitting.

  28. Anonymous says:

    Speaking of typos, the word “i” should be capitalized unless it is
    immediately followed by the word “Pod” or “Mac” or some such thing.

  29. The 12th Man says:

    While we’re all “knit-picking” … it’s “nitpicking” you knitwit.

  30. NWJR says:

    While we’re nitpicking, possessive its has no apostrophe, Mr. Smarty-Pants-Number-15.

  31. Cochrane says:

    I’m surprised that Apple still allows OS9 to run on PowerPC machines. IMO, Apple should send Ninjas to every home and steal all OS boxes earlier than Panther. And maybe that, too. And install Tiger on the machines. Those people who haven’t upgraded yet are what keeps the world turning so slowly. If it wasn’t for them, we’d have 22 hour days which meant we’d be 8 hours closer to the weekend by now!

  32. Performan says:

    Internet providers need to be held accountable too. There is no installation software for System 7.5.1. Of course, I only have a 14.4 kbps modem and no telephone service, but it’s the principle of the thing!

    Support your local library.

  33. Mpls Guy says:

    If I want to have nuts in my knitting…well that’s between me and my nuts. iKnit, iNut, well, we better just stop.

  34. Jebus says:

    Personally, I think we should all go back to OS 8, so that all the people with 68ks, PowerPCs, and Intel (once Apple digs the OS 8 Source code out of it’s shallow grave in Job’s back yard, and repair the bullethole in it) can work together!

  35. yoyo says:

    Even better, send ninja ballerinas!!!!!111!!!!!!!

  36. What about Hypercard? Won’t somebody think about those poor children using Hypercard?

  37. todd says:

    It’s totally true that tons of people are switching back to OS 9. My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who did the installations. I guess it’s pretty serious.

  38. tommy says:

    I’ve got 2 words for those who don’t miss OS9: Kaliedoscope.

  39. headpatter says:

    I am a stateline mug member and I always remember that rotund lady that would always yell “RAANNDDYY”. Then Randy would put his head down and go see what she was yelling at him for. I think she put him up to all of the OS9 questions. What was her name?

    head patter

  40. belnjhb says:


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  41. I have been a frequent visitor of this blog for some time now, so I thought it would be a good idea to leave you with my thanks.

    Jim Mirkalami

  42. Djin says:

    Why OS9?

    Games, Games, GAMES!

    of course windoze minded dudes don’t play.