According to sources in Apple’s product marketing division, analyst Hugh Kogan has received the most unusual honor of having been fired by a sleeping CEO Steve Jobs.
Kogan claims that as both he and Jobs slept on Tuesday night, their dreams crossed over and Jobs conducted his firing transcendentally.
“It was wild,” Kogan said. “Steve was in my dream and I was in Steve’s dream. We were in Grand Central Station, which is kind of funny because I’ve never been there… hmm… But maybe Steve has…
“Anyway, he beckoned to me from across the empty, cavernous main hall and as I approached him I noticed he had white earbuds in his ears. The other end of them was plugged into a block of cheddar cheese Steve was holding in his outstretched palms. I could hear Deep Purple’s Smoke On The Water playing.
“That’s when he fired me.”
Since it was still just a dream, Kogan was uncertain whether or not the firing was also in effect on this plane of existence. The next day he stuck his head into Jobs’ office to confirm.
“Am I…?” Kogan began to ask.
“Totally,” Jobs replied, cutting him off without looking up from the plans for the 21-inch tablet device and media center that will run on OS X “lite”.
“And for the record,” Jobs continued, “that was muenster and it was Iron Butterfly’s In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida.”
Suddenly, Yoda appeared in a corner of Jobs’ office, looked at Kogan disapprovingly and said “That… is why you fail.”
“Wha…?” said a startled Kogan. “Oh, hey, this is a dream again!”
Looking up, Jobs said “What? Oh. No. That’s an animatronic Yoda George Lucas gave me. It says that all the time. You’re still fired.”
“Oh,” a disappointed Kogan said.
Kogan’s resumé is on line for prospective employers without astral projection powers.