Friday Feature: Crazy Apple Help Desk.

Every Friday, the staff at Crazy Apple Rumors Site answers common help questions based on our vast experience with Apple products and our fervent belief that we know more than you do.

It’s month-end and daddy’s gotta pay the bills! Today’s edition of the Help Desk is the all-product placement dance mix!

Q: I have an iMac that I use as kind of a media hub for my photos and music and video. A lot of the files are the only copies I have, so I’m really concerned about backup. What do you suggest?
A: I suggest the biggest, most expensive hard drive from the fine folks at LaCie that you can possibly afford by taking out a second mortgage on your home. LaCie: manufacturers of quality backup storage drives.
Q: Oh. Wow. That seems… like overkill. I mean… I have a G3 iMac with a CD burner an about a hundred iPhoto pictures and maybe 500 songs and… well… really no video at all yet. I just… is that really necessary?
A: Uh… no. No. I guess not. If you want, you could just get an iPod shuffle and a very expensive DVD burner from our glorious technological overlords at LaCie.
Q: Uhhh… You’re pretty much going to suggest a solution involving LaCie no matter what I say, aren’t you.
A: What? No! That’s… absurd.
Q: I have moles in my underwear drawer.
A: LaCie makes a fabulous mole trap that fits right in your unmentionables drawer!
Q: What?! No they don’t!
A: Well… no. But they could. They’re very smart.
Q: Oh, stop it.

Q: I have a LaCie Firewire drive and I’m having a problem with using it with iDVD. I’m trying to burn a… hey… wait a minute… You just put a link to a LaCie product page… Hey! You did it again!
A: Well, there’s nothing wrong with providing a helpful link to fabulous products from LaCie in case our readers want to make a purchase. Of some… you know… LaCie products.
Q: You’re just a link whore! A dirty, dirty link whore!
A: Oh, come on. If it’s so wrong, why does it feel so right?
Q: Because you’re getting a kickback?
A: Oh, yeah! That’s it!
Q: Pff!

Q: Oh, jeez, you know what, I was going to ask a question, but I’m kinda tired and since I know you’re just going to turn it into an excuse to link to… them… just go ahead and do it.
A: No! No! You’re ruining it for me! You need to say it!
Q: [sigh] OK. … LaCie.
A: Yeah, baby!
Q: Ack, god, I feel so cheap!
A: Oh, that totally wears off after a few sweet, sweet kickback checks!