13 Jun 06Mac Users Decry Prediction of Apple's Market Share.

A report from the Computer Industry Almanac (link via Infinite Loop) predicts that Apple could double its sales over the next five years, but that because of the dynamics of the technology industry, even such a drastic increase would only move its market share from 2.1 percent to 2.5 percent.

“I think there’s a math error in there,” said Adam Engst.

“I mean, think of it. If Apple doubles their sales, they’d have to double their market share. That’s totally obvious, isn’t it? See, it’s not just me, right?”

Engst’s analysis was echoed across the Macintosh community.

“They’re way off,” said Macworld magazine editor Jason Snell. “By my calculations, based on current switcher rates, Apple will have, like, nine hundred gajillion users by 2010. That works out to 230 percent of the market.

“That’s a… rough estimate. Could be more, though. Could be a bazillion.”

Mac user Mike Bainter was more direct.

“Oh, c’mon!” Bainter screamed at his screen. “It’s got to be higher than that!

“I’m sorry, I’ve just invested a lot emotionally in this company, you know?

“Man, does that sound weird every time it comes out of my mouth.”

Apple declined to reveal its internal projections for sales over the next five years, despite repeated begging, whining and refusal to let go of their leg.

No Responses to “Mac Users Decry Prediction of Apple's Market Share.”

  1. Jamie Bolt says:

    Sha-BAM!

  2. Huh? says:

    Ya’ll really should let go of Apple’s leg. Kinda gets excited when you do that too long…
    If you know what I mean.

    (Pants™ still on the DL… Damn.)

    moo

  3. mick says:

    Sexbots would raise the market share.

  4. Carl says:

    F’ dat! Macs for Mac Users! I’m joining the MacMinute Men group to patrol the border around the Osaka Apple Store.

  5. madogdidit says:

    sixth is not a bad one for one of the bazillion switchers

  6. Werner Waimarana says:

    One kajillion and seven

  7. Nxxx says:

    It’s all right John, I’m no good at maths either.

  8. Ace Deuce says:

    I doubled my market share in the last 12 hours by giving it away for free, and I now have one nillion users (that’s nil times 1000).

  9. Randy Dick says:

    Lesbian Dwarf Pron on the apple site would boost market share.

  10. MPLS Guy says:

    Oh, yeah! 11, as in ther percent of predicted market share!

  11. Streetrabbit says:

    I hate that table.

    I WANNA PIE CHART!!

  12. Ahnyer Keester says:

    Moltz, you’ve uncovered a startling fact. It can lead to only one conclusion: Apple will abandon Mac OS X and switch to Windows 95 preinstalled on all their machines by 2010. Think about it:
    * Microsoft is abandoning support of these legacy systems this year.
    * Windows 95 was a blatant rip off of System 7
    * If Apple doubles their sales and garners only an additional 4/10ths of a percent of the market share, they must switch to Windows to survive.
    * I have been doing the exact same cocaine/Scotch/Dramamine mix that Rob Enderle does just before he receives visions of Apple’s doom.
    * Phil is burning copies of Windows 95 install discs in his stepdad’s garage and selling them for next to nothing.
    * Apple’s sexbot line still does not have any thesbian Dorf prawns.
    * The number 3 socks in my coupe chatter like easy, flagrant napkins on Tuesday.
    * The cocaine/Scotch/Dramamine mix is kicking in.

    THINK ABOUT IT!!!

  13. Del says:

    Like I really believe that Phil is wasting time burning Windows cd’s during hockey season. Now I might believe that after the 19th but now? I believe you’ve been partaking a little to much of the cocaine/Soctch/Draamine mix yourself Ahnyer.

  14. TheWakeUpCall says:

    I think Steve Jobs would rather let Apple go out of business than switch to Windows. It’s everything the company stands against.

  15. blank says:

    Forget the chart, I want pie! Apple, peach, berry–even strawberry rhubarb, just as long as there’s pie, I’m happy.

    Here’s a crazy apple rumor for you: Steve runs for public office on a “free pies for all” platform. I’d vote for that, wouldn’t you?

  16. Ace Deuce says:

    Mmmmh…shepherd’s pie.

  17. MPLS Guy says:

    I bet Huh?’s Pants™ really like pie…warm apple, perhaps?

  18. NWJR says:

    I like pie. I eat it when I read charts.

  19. Ground Chuck says:

    My favorite charts are the ones that show the distribution of ingredients in savory foods.

    Like pie charts of chai parts.

  20. Six Sick Sheiks says:

    I think we’ve reached the point where you and Apple pie part.

  21. Ahnyer Keester says:

    Del, idiot!! Phil screwed up his ankle last week by performing check that is probably pretty much illegal by now. He’s totally out for the rest of the season. He has nothing better to do than burn illegal CDs.

    Gosh!

  22. Tom says:

    I think Job’s would rather make a load more money than let Apple go bust. Thoughts?

  23. UhhhDude says:

    OK. If I understand this correctly, the iMac I’m typing this comment on is really a hot Apple pie, and I don’t have to share it with the rest of the market? And that there are a bajillion more where that came from?

    If that’s the case, I’m getting my fork in a minute.

    Mmmmm…pie.

  24. 2000guitars says:

    The comments always lead back to pie…

    Even when it’s not mentioned in the story.

    mmmmmmmmmmpie

  25. A priest, a rabbi, and Mike Rowe says:

    All your charts are belong to us!

  26. MPLS Guy says:

    Great reference to Mike Rowe! Dirty Jobs…he could use some pie.

  27. Ahnyer Keester says:

    Tom said, “I think Job’s would rather make a load more money than let Apple go bust. Thoughts?”

    My only thought is that “Jobs” does not have an apostrophe.

  28. Mike Bainter says:

    Hey, I was misquoted!

    I didn’t say “c’mon,” I clearly said “come on.” See the difference? Check your tapes. Sheesh. I expect a lot better from you. Get right next time.

  29. Kathy says:

    Hmm… sweet! [*../nice_site2.txt*]

  30. This article regarding Mac Users Decry Prediction of Apple’s Market Share. sounds well, but how everything is related together?

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