14 Jun 06Employment Practices at iPod Plants Draw Criticism.

In the past several days, Apple customers have been shocked by reports that workers in the Chinese factories that create the iPod “work long hours and do not earn a lot of money.

It was but one of many “loss of innocence” moments for Apple’s doe-eyed customers.

“I dunno,” said despondent iPod owner Scott Hochman.

“Was it just a childish pipe dream to allow myself to believe that iPods were made by elves working 30-hour work weeks with full benefits in a candy-colored factory in Magic Gumdrop Land?”

Hochman sighed heavily.

“Maaaybe it was.”

Hochman was not alone in his belief that all Apple employees and employees of Apple contractors and sub-component makers spent their days skipping through a fairy tale of employment bliss. Apple customers are, as a whole, surprisingly uneducated concerning matters of economics and international commerce.

“Well…” said Apple customer Ted Kersten, “Why doesn’t Apple just pay them, like, $50 an hour instead of $50 a month? That seems fair to me.”

Apple was adamant that the more heinous charges that have been floating around the Internet are without merit.

“Steve Jobs does not ride the employees at iPod plants like they’re ponies,” said Apple spokesperson Cynthia Mclaren. “That’s purely a domestic policy.”

34 Responses to “Employment Practices at iPod Plants Draw Criticism.”

  1. Huh? says:

    More ponies!!!!

    (damn pants still on the DL, but they LOVE apple pie)


  2. Nxxx says:

    Steve works thirty hour days for nothing. Chinese wimps.

  3. Ergo says:

    three dog night says one is the loneliest number but two can be as bad as one.

  4. Ventzi says:

    Go fourth!

    50$ the minute!!!


  5. Paul says:

    To be fair, Steve does earn $1 a year, or something like 0.000513083633 U.S. dollars, using the 1987 average (1987 Average worker, U.S. – 1949 hours) from Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Working_hours).

    Oh, and all those bonuses. And that jet.

  6. Carl says:

    These people earn 600x as much as the CEO. That is a good angle.

    Someone, use that for make funny.

  7. Gary says:

    > Apple’s doe-eyed customers

    Should that not be “dough-eyed” in this case? (I hope that’s not just British slang! 🙂

  8. Roboto says:

    OMGWTFBBQ? You mean they’re not made by unicorns and fairies?!?!?
    Its a sad day when all your dreams are shattered. Well, at least we all know that Jobs will inevitably become our Supreme Global Overlord. (and all for the low low price of $1 a year!)

  9. Keebler Alf says:

    At least we make the cookies that you find in the break rooms. And if you leave that old, worn-out pair of shoes under the table, next morning they’ll be good as new.

    And we’ll wax your pony too. Brazilian.

  10. His Steveness says:

    Waxed ponies? Hmm………

  11. Surely the small amount of financial benefit these workers reap must be more than offset by the knowledge that they bring joy to millions with their iPods.

    Being eleventh is also very joyful.

  12. Tom says:

    I think it might be just British slang, but luckily it has been globalised by Brit gangster films…

    This is all a bit of a storm in a teacup, if the Mail (renowned for the accuracy and fairness of its journalism … not) had added a comparison to workers in other factories I suspect that iPod employees would not be any worse off (possibly better off).

    The problem with the Mail in this case is that as a Right Wing verging on drooling fascist publication it is in advocating limp wristed lefty anti-capitalism, possibly with a socialist ‘what about the workers’ bent. Also it is refreshing to hear that they care about foreigners.

    Or are they only interested in money?

  13. Tom says:

    oops rant-tastic

  14. Garnack says:

    Is it wrong, that as long as I get cheap iPods, I don’t care how the Chinese treat thier workers?

    My happiness is a direct product of Chinese slave labor, and I don’t care!!!!

  15. Streetrabbit says:

    I would like even cheaper iPods.

    How much will children work for?

  16. Del says:

    Waxed Ponies are how they make horse hair sofa’s.

    Though Steve doesn’t ride the Waxed Ponies naked after that hot day last August when he stuck to the pony’s skin.

  17. DNS says:

    Hey Huh?, you forgot to ™ your Pants™ in your first post. The pony got to you…for shame.

  18. crow says:

    Why doesn’t Apple pay them in ponies?

    Them’s good eatin’.

  19. Paul says:

    “Doe-eyed”, as in a deer, wide open innocent eyes… that kind of thing.

  20. Buthidae says:


  21. NWJR says:

    OMG Ponies!!!

  22. MPLS Guy says:

    Huh? didn’t even capitalize Pants™. I suppose he is angry with them.

  23. Huh? says:

    Yes, I am upset with them. First they put THEMSELVES on the DL, then they’re out all day and night partying…
    Gettin’ some of that warm apple pie.
    Some recovery…
    If they’re not back soon, I’m gonna have to go and pull a new pair up from the minor leagues.

    Pizza stain my ass…..


    Well, I should know by tonight if they’ll be released, or not.


  24. John Moltz says:

    Sounds like you should get yourself summa them “stress-free” pants.

    Like the ones I’m wearing right now.

    But you can’t have these. They’re mine.

  25. Tom says:

    Okay, maybe not:

    Dough as in money…

  26. UhhhDude says:

    I’m feeling so freakin’ guilty. In return, I’ll listen to my iPod with the sound turned down.

  27. Huh?'s press agent says:

    Great news everybody!
    Ladies, gentlemen, and ponies, I would like to announce that Huh?’s Pants™ are off the DL, and back in the starting line-up.
    I would also like to add, Shorts™ are NOT going to be taken off the starting roster.
    They will both be kept around, as each have strengths the other does not.
    Huh? says “I think this will benefit everybody, and only serve to help the team.”
    When Shorts™ was asked about sharing starting responsibilities, he said “We gotta play ’em one day at a time, and I’m just happy to be here and hope I can help the ballclub.”


  28. DNS says:

    Now Shorts™?! Waaaay too many articles of clothing for me….

  29. dkjfeoi says:

    it’s very good!

  30. lisa80 says:

    oh,i like here

    and http://www.heyjokes.com

    have a nice day with you

  31. franchise tax…

  32. free ringtones …

    Actually free ringtones …

  33. Daniel says:

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