Apple Computer today said that it is ramping up production to fulfill the largest single order ever placed in the company’s storied history: one billion McBoookS that will be shipped to a post office box in Lagos, Nigeria, and paid for by cashier’s check.
Apple CEO Steve Jobs said, “This single order justifies the sleepless nights of many thousands of Apple employees, and our decision to switch to Intel processors. We’re thrilled by this out-of-the-blue relationship with our new biggest client.”
The order, received via email along with what appeared to be several thousand similar orders – which Apple believes must have been an accidental duplication – asked for the McBoookS to be sent immediately to a Mr. Sonni Abachi (Madam). While Apple makes MacBooks and MacBook Pros, the company, until today, has not offered anything called “McBoookS.” In a concession to the size of the order, however, the product will be produced in a limited, one billion unit run for the customer.
Mr. Abachi (Madam) could only be reached via email, and confirmed that he (or she) had plans for the computers.
“In good Christ,” Mr. Abachi (Madam) wrote, “All computerss will die..and thus planning for out of country funds over to a peeoples through out the world.;;.”
Apple CFO Peter Oppenheimer admitted “The dialog with Mr. Abachi (Madam) has been a little rough.
“But he said ‘In good Christ’, so we’re sure it’s all on the up and up.”
Some of the emails had offered cash taken from briefcases of several dead African warlords in lieu of the cashier’s check, but Apple was unsure where it could exchange Botswanan pulas. Also, Steve Jobs would have had to fly to Geneva 30 days after the McBoookS shipped in order to collect.
Mr. Abachi (Madam) said the cashier’s check would be made out for $1.7 trillion, despite the fact that Apple has stated the order’s value as $1.5 trillion.
Oppenheimer said Mr. Abachi (Madam) asked for the $200 billion above the order to be wired to a cousin in Los Angeles who had been ill.
Apple will ship the computers immediately upon receipt of the cashier’s check – expected any day – and will immediately run to the bank to deposit it.