11 Aug 06Nothing tonight.

Ironically enough, the Help Desk guy may have a bad memory module. It took a couple of attempts for it to get recognized when I installed it the other day and tonight the machine locked up when I was about half way through tonight’s post which I hadn’t saved.

Detail your bad memory experiences in the comments. It’ll be kind of a do-it-yourself Help Desk tonight.

To make it a 12-step Help Desk Program, you can take “bad memory experiences” however you want. Don’t feel limited to hardware issues, please go into that time you got pantsed by the seniors in gym class. Or the time you got dumped at the prom. Or the time you wrote that heartfelt note to the guy/girl you liked and he/she spent the next four weeks laughing hysterically every time he/she saw you.

For extra credit, you can guess which one of those actually happened to the Help Desk guy (yes, it was only one of those, thank you very much).

No Responses to “Nothing tonight.”

  1. Help Desk Guy says:

    Only one!

  2. Huh? says:

    My Pants™ vote for the laughing hysterically…

    I do too.


  3. Patrick says:

    I’m voting for the prom. Except the helpdesk going to the prom? Hrm, maybe not.

    I’m guessing a bad gym experience.

  4. Shade says:

    I’m guessing the laughing hysterically one.

  5. Ace Deuce says:

    My bad memory experience was, was …. uh, I got nothin’.

  6. Ahnyer Keester says:


    Nothing? Really? Cause I thought I had something but I guess not.

  7. Nxxx says:

    I am trying to remember John Moltz. He was a gentle person, owning a warped sense of humour and a sense of the ridiculous. I firmly believe that he is/was Steve Jobs and had an unfortunate experience in the gym, which accounts for no one ever seeing Steve sun bathing.

  8. joey lange says:

    I’m leaning towards the gym pantsing.

    Because I’m sure he’d be horrified of losing My Pants™.
    I lent them to him coz my size happens to be “Class-H Desk”.

  9. moksha says:

    10th… sorry.

    I go for gym class.

  10. moksha says:

    Or 11th…

  11. UhhhDude says:

    I’m guessing the Help Desk guy got pantsed at the prom.

    My worst memory? Using Quark 6…on a PC. In fact, it continues to this very day.

  12. 2000guitars says:

    Had to have been the prom. Where else would the “CARS staff” have had such a bad experience?

    I’ll let the Package™ do the voting, this time…

    Oh, who am I kidding?

    Every Time™.

  13. Mason says:

    He only had one of those happen? Lucky guy. I got hit with them all. In the same week.

  14. YOU says:

    Nothing tonight? It’s 9.42 AM here in Belgium.

    Never mind, I have my iBrush™ to listen to.

  15. vitaming fortified says:

    Hmm bad memories, cured those with a botte fo vodka every nite. Haven’t remembered a thing nigh 20 years.

    My vote, Prom. Has that Lisa crushing Ralph’s heart feel to it.

  16. Garnack says:

    I think he was pantsed by his date, who was a senior, at the prom, which was held in the gym, while he, the date, laughed hysterically. Yea I said his date was a he. The huge adams apple should have been a dead giveaway and his mom warned him the pretty girls don’t have adams apples, but he went crying from the room, “You don’t understand Mom, She really likes me. She really really likes me. And She can’t help that she has a freak form of cancer that makes it look like she has an adams apple. We’re going to get married and when you see your first grandchild then you’ll feel sorry for talking bad about the woman I love. You never wanted me to be happy. Why can’t I be happy for once. You’re always criticizing me Mom. I…..”. Umm where was I? O yea the help desk guy..hahaha what a loser dork.

  17. NWJR says:

    There was this time when I forgot to feed the PONIES and they all died.

    That was sad.

  18. MPLS Guy says:

    I think that it is funny that Moltz included he/she. She, in this site? Crazy!

  19. John Moltz says:

    Remember, kids, I said ONE. Being laughed at by my date at the prom when she pants me and dumped me and read my heartfelt note aloud is not ONE. It’s all three.

  20. John Moltz says:

    Clearly MPLS Guy has not met Del.

  21. Squished Squirrel says:

    Wow. Not only laughed every time she saw you, she read it aloud.

    Feel free to post a yearbook headshot of her. I’m sure we can do a Worth1000 on her and help ease your pain.

  22. Squished Squirrel says:


    And I’m still mad that the helpdesk hung up on me in the middle of my call. We were SOOO close to a resultion.

    Not of my computer problem mind you… we were close to resolving my underlying pain and anguish over not having an Intel Mac yet.

    I’m trying to forgive you, but that memory module thing… Pfft. The helpdesk uses ECC. I’m not buying it.

  23. Buthidae says:

    Moltz, I am disenchanted by your post about the shrinking Mac Universe, followed by troubles with the help desk.

    I knew there was Trouble Afoot™.

  24. 2000guitars says:

    I must apologize for the post about the “CARS staff”. Upon rereading the story, it clearly asks us not to “feel our limited hardware issues”. I missed that the first time, and must have gotten carried away.

    Won’t. Happen. Again.


    the whole Package™

  25. Nxxx says:

    I was going to ask Help Desk if Leopard would run on my Franklin’s Dictionary and Thesaurus. For the less educated, thesaurus is not the ‘nice’ name for haemorrhoids. If you do suffer from them, do feel free to ask the Help Desk if Leopard will run on them.

  26. nameless norman says:

    i’m saying nothing

  27. blank says:

    Sorry about not following-up on the Moltz Watch idea. There was this shiny thing and I got distracted, and well, you know…

    Okay, I forgot.

    Anyway, post 21 would have ended the Watch, so whatever, nevermind. What was I talking about again? Must be a memory problem.

  28. iPodless says:

    My worst memory problem… let’s see. Oh! Ok, when I was back in 5th grade, I was playing the card game Memory, and I was about to pull off a big win against the school bully for the heart of my crush, but instead of flipping over the pair of cards that I knew about, I shot my opponent in the chest. Now that was a serious memory problem!

  29. techie teckerson says:

    you wouldn’t beleive how many people bring their ibokks, powerbooks in for service with ” installed memory module now computer doesn’t work.
    somehow people are frying the main logic board.

  30. Ahnyer Keester says:

    Q: Something’s wrong with my brand new MacBook Pro. I used to fry bacon on it in the morning but lately it has been running too cool for that. I tried it with a Dell laptop but the bacon burned and had a nasty chemical taste after the Dell battery flamed out. I’d rather use my MacBook Pro since it got the bacon done just right. What do you think?
    A: Never, never use a Dell for cooking. They are way to unpredictable. Way.
    Q: Well, I agree but suddenly the MacBook isn’t too consistent either, if you know what I mean.
    A: Look, this never would have started if you didn’t have to try using another computer! Macs are sensitive, man!
    Q: Yea, but the Dell burst in to flame! It ruined my bacon and the counter top! Surely that is enough to appease my Mac?!
    A: Is it?
    A: Do you think your Mac is there to cook your food, wash your dishes, download your music, edit your pictures and pick those streaked underwear you hang on the doorknobs without getting something in return?
    Q: I…
    A: Doesn’t your Mac deserve a little more?
    Q: I have been meaning to get it…some more…memory.
    A: Dude. Don’t you even read the posts before you start asking questions?!
    Q: What?
    Q: And how’d you know about the underwear thing?
    A: Sometimes Macs talk to us when their owners won’t talk to them.

  31. Huh? says:

    Wow. That was so Moltz-esq.

    What does it feel like to channel the Moltz™?


  32. Ahnyer Keester says:

    Thank’s for askin’ Huh?.

    It is greatly unsettling and disorienting. After the experience has ended, I have an uncontrollable urge, no, an unstoppable impuse to drink a six pack of Mirror Pond Pale Ale, use someone else’s toothbrush, talk to dogs and cavemen and I can’t get the notion of Sexbots out of my head for a few days. Once the spell is passed, I take a very long shower until I no longer feel “dirty” and “used”.

    As you can imagine, I don’t channel the Moltz™ very often.

  33. Jizzmaster Zero Squared says:

    I’m voting for the laughing SheMale™. At least my Pants™ think so.

  34. John Moltz says:

    Ha! Feeling dirty and used is part of the whole… Package™. If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen that is being me!

  35. 2000guitars says:

    Well, Huh?, apparently the trademark doesn’t mean much anymore. I know you went through hell and “high water” to trademark your “pants”, and I went through a similar “exhaustive” procedure to trademark my Package™ . And what good was all that effort for? Everyone is now using the Pants and the Package. Hey, that could be a rock band. “The Pants and The Package.” Has a nice ring to it.

  36. John Moltz says:

    No, it should be something like Jimmy Package and the Pants.

    And it was the prom.

  37. Huh? says:

    Yeah, I guess it’s like people calling any ol’ MP3 player an iPod. Or like Kleenex™, or Q-Tips™.


    Well, I’m not going to relinquish my Pants™ that easily.
    Unless, of course, she’s really pretty.


  38. Introducing….

    “What’s Up With The Trademarks?™”

  39. Ahnyer Keester says:

    Q: Yes, I am a doctor and I would like to issue a stern warning to the pervious caller about frying bacon on a Dell.
    A: Wow. Glad you called in. Go ahead.
    Q: As you said, the Dell is too unstable a platform for such cooking. If bacon is not fully cooked to 176° it can give you striptangdelidatious. While it isn’t a deadly strain, it can make you very ill. Were one to get a Blue Screen of Death during cooking…
    A: Dude.
    Q: …the temperature would not be high…
    A: Dude!
    Q: …enough to kill the bacteria naturally present in…
    A: DUDE!!
    Q: …pig flesh. What?!
    A: You’re not really a doctor are you?
    Q: What? Yes! How dare you! I’m trying to help this…
    A: So you have an MD?
    Q: Well…not an emm dee. But I am a doctor.
    A: Come on, what is your PhD in? Literature?
    Q: Pfft! No.
    A: Philosophy?
    Q: Unh ah.
    A: It isn’t…
    Q: Don’t say it!
    A: Phys Ed?
    Q: Ha! No! history actually.
    A: Please don’t call this line again with advice, only questions.
    Q: Yes.
    A: Good questions.
    Q: Alright.
    Q: Can I tell you about my disertation?
    A: NO!

  40. Del says:

    Yeah I’m the token female here. The She is for me!!!! At one time I may have shared that honor with Bellidancer (gender was unknown), but Bellidancer left us *SNIFF* I miss you Bellidancer and your poetry.

    On a happier note the Ponies back me up on voting that it was being PANTZED.

  41. Huh? says:

    Ok. Twice with the channeling. I’m really getting scared.
    Do try to be careful…

    On the up-side, were something to happen to the Moltz™, we would have a ready replacement.

    …pig flesh….
    That cracks me up….


  42. John Moltz says:

    Actually, Del, a long time ago there was Ana Katz. Not sure what happened to her. She always claimed she was dead.

    Really. She did.

    Well, it’s not like this site attracts the most stable people.

  43. Ahnyer Keester says:

    Dell, my mother is a woman. So are all of my sisters and my wife and all of my daughters.

    Does that help?

  44. Del says:

    That is Del with one L Mister! What do you think I am, some incendiary laptop device?

  45. Ahnyer Keester says:

    Gosh, didn’t know you were so volital! Don’t explode, it was a simple mistake. Runnin’ around like your hair’s on fire or something. 🙂

    Don’t worry, we’re not going to cook bacon on you.

  46. peter says:

    “bad memory experiences”

    why don’t we hear from the people with Alzheimer’s now?

    and where did I leave my keys?

    what are keys again?

    ooh, pretty colors…

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