10 Aug 06Mac Web Universe Shrinking.

Over the past several years, Crazy Apple Rumors Site has been monitoring a frightening trend, one that impacts almost every member of the Mac community.

According the research conducted by the Crazy Apple Rumors Site Labs in conjunction with the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, the Mac web universe is shrinking, losing an average of one web site a year.

According to MIT’s Dr. Ranjit Vij, the Mac web universe may be trapped in a collapsing warp bubble that is forcing it to inexorably shrink in size.

Many trace the start of this trend to the disappearance of Bite.org – an “in your face”/”use your toothbrush” Mac rumors site – that went defunct back in late 2001.

More recently it was PerversionTracker in 2004, As the Apple Turns in 2005 and now, in 2006, Drunken Batman has gone silent.

A silence which we here find ominous.

Which site will be next? Daring Fireball? The Unofficial Apple Weblog?

Or Crazy Apple Rumors?

And why is it always the good ones that die too soon? Why not MacOSRumors or PowerPage?

I just…

It’s just that…

Oh, god, I DON’T WANT TO DIE! I DON’T WANT TO DIE! I DON’T WANT TO…

Sorry.

It’s just… very scary, you know?

I mean, no one even remembers the spectacular Mac rumor site done by Dr. Dalen Quaice anymore.

I don’t want to go out that way.

But there is a disturbing portent to this phenomenon.

Go to Apple’s new Leopard page and you’ll see an X fly in with a snow leopard print background. But hover your cursor over the X and move your scroll wheel and you’ll see the X fly away leaving nothing but a black emptiness.

Is it message?

Or more meaningless eye candy?

Or is it a message wrapped in meaningless eye candy?

Keep watching the web.

No Responses to “Mac Web Universe Shrinking.”

  1. Colonel Panic says:

    I don’t understand the problem. Even though this ship was built to carry over 1000 people, we’ve always had this crew of two….

  2. Nxxx says:

    Being highly suggestible, duly hovered my cursor over the X, moved my scroll wheel and it disappeared as promised.

    Having slaughtered one of the last Golden Eagles in Britain as could not find a chicken, spread the intestines around and read them, the most consistent message received was, “Do not reverse wearing dark glasses.” So there’s your answer, John.

  3. And why is it always the good ones that die too soon? Why not MacOSRumors or PowerPage?

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Has powerPage ever NOT scuked? Are they going to rename again? maybe Pro Page? Quad Page? MacIntelPage?

  4. yonatr0n says:

    Maybe it’ll be LoopRumors. I’m always forgetting they exist anyway…

  5. NWJR says:

    The disappearance of the inane and self-congratulatory LoopRumors would be the best thing that could happen to the Mac Web. Well, the second-best (next to CARS incorporating PONIES in their logo).

  6. comacnut says:

    If your going to post 3? times on one article you’d think at least on one could be slightly humorous. Oh, and by the way, you didn’t even come close to using anyones tooth brush. Those were used colon scrubbers from the trash can out behind the free clinic on Colfax.

  7. Buthidae says:

    Fifty-seventh? Fifty-seventh!

    Trouble is afoot, Moltz, trouble indeed. Also, I like candy.

  8. No, wait. He’s right! Remember that site with that guy a few years ago. He wrote something about Apple stuff. I. Don’t remember the site or his name.

    And then there was that one guy who wrote and said he was always drunk or something.

    Mac the Knife? Mac Master? Bushel o’ Apple Rumors? Dang, it was something like that.

    Wow, the universe is shrinking.

    Moltz, head toward the light…

  9. blank says:

    PowerPage was once good and true, but that was a long time ago. Lawsuits have left Jason a bitter, broken, husk of a man whose only dreams now extend to plugging his paying gig via his free one. Sad, really.

    PT, AtAT, DB, and lets not forget the short-lived AtAT2–all MIA…

    So here’s the thing: Has no one noticed that Moltz’ last post to the list was almost eleven hours ago?

    Moltz! Choi chu!

    No, that isn’t it. That was Kirk in Star Trek III. Oh yeah, I’ve got it now!

    If Moltz disappears, what say we blame it on this mosh-pit guy? The appearance of one and the disappearance of the other are too close together to be mere coincidence.

  10. blank says:

    I forgot about MtK! OMG, PONIES aren’t going to fix this! We’re through the looking-glass people!

    Mmmmooooollllllllllltz!

    Klingon bastards!

  11. Damn liberals will probably try to blame this shrinking universe thing on “Global Warming”.

  12. Del says:

    It is obvious what is happening. As the Apple Turns posted several articles about this phenomenon before they too fell to the elite Apple Ninja squad.

    Documented proof can be found on http://appleturns.com and searching through their past articles. CARS I hope you are ninja prepared.

    Here are a couple of examples:
    http://www.appleturns.com/scene/?id=94
    http://www.appleturns.com/scene/?id=1040
    http://www.appleturns.com/scene/?id=91

  13. comacnut says:

    And you know what causes global warming, no not MacBooks you idiot, Pony poo.

  14. Charlotte says:

    Don’t worry, little web site.

    Tonight I will spin a web with a special message that will tell show the whole world what a special web site you are.

    Templeton, I’ll need you to sneak into Zuckerman’s home and bring me the keys to his sexbot.

  15. Charlotte says:

    ‘tell show’, yeah baby!

  16. Bob the wrecker says:

    bob’s got it: what we need is a mac rumor site rumor site! So like a mega metamac rumorsite. and maybe a couple blogs about the mac rumor rumor site. and som einuendo in a classified ad in the paper (yeah i’m a print guy). 65! I retire!

  17. Bob the wrecker says:

    BTW: Google Toothbrush apple mac. Guess what…

  18. blank says:

    Moltz Watch: coming up on 16 hours since his last post.

    After 24 hours, we can call 911, or is that 48 hours?

  19. That Cranky Old Guy says:

    Hey! Who put all these Mac rumor sites on my lawn?

  20. Magic Voice says:

    And of course the fundamentalists will blame it on abortions, homosexuals, and pants-wearin’ women.

    Hmm. Actually, I bet Jack Miller’s wife wears pants. And Mac the Knife, well, that’s self-explanatory…

    WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T GET AN ABORTION, JOHN!

    Oh wait. Actually, I don’t even like this site very much. Come back to us, Jack, come back to us, Naked Mole Rat, come baaaaaaaaaaaaaa……

    ck.

  21. oh god it burns! says:

    I miss Perversion Tracker.

  22. monkeys says:

    Okay, I need my Crazy Apple Help Desk now, please. Yeah, I said need.

  23. smell says:

    windows user base is growing and we arent spoiled brats like mac users are.

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