666 – THE POST OF THE DEVIL

Check out the specific link to this post.

Well, let’s continue the fun, just as Satan would want us to, shall we?

IN HIS HONOR!

Blaka n’rath mkran dalla soocra m’joran!

Oh, dammit, that’s Klingon.

Well, we’ll have another post later tonight (unless one of our Apple contacts calls us and wants to go out for drinks), but as Day 2 of Security Bitch Watch draws to a close, the radio silence from George Ou, Brian Krebs and SecureWorks continues. In the mean time, you can check out some posts from the lovely and talented Glenn Fleishman on the subject, or delve into the arcane aspects of Maynor’s supposed hack at Sex, Drugs & Unix.

Also, as this whole wifi incident is rather confusing, let’s make Friday’s Help Desk a special episode. You can either email me your questions or drop them in the comments of this post.

ALL HAIL SATAN!

…

I don’t really mean that.

I just like Satan as a friend.

UPDATE: As fate (OR SATAN!) would have it, we are going out with one of our Apple contacts. So we’ll see you tomorrow with more on Security Bitch Watch.

87 thoughts on “666 – THE POST OF THE DEVIL”

  8. hmmmm,thinking something along the lines of dual core sexbots who like back-door Ubuntu users who have switched to Fedora Core and then switched to Mac only to find out they have android-intimacy issues. Not speaking from personal experience here, I just have a friend who asked me to make this post.

  14. Well thanks alot The Amazing Eploding Bob! You stole my number 13 spot! Mind you, I suppose it was Ahnyer Keester’s fault really, so I think we should stick a lit cigarette of doom in EACH of his (her?) eyes!

  15. Bobby, go blow up!! Hahahaha!! I am soo… I totally used your toothbrush!!!

    And I think you have a gum condition or something. Time to replace that thing. Yuch.

    BTW, Satan sucks.

  16. AAAAAHHHHH MY EYES!!!! IT BURNS IT BURNS IT BURNS!!!! MY BEAUTIFUL EYESSSS~!!!!

    Oh way. Del, next time it might be more painful if you lit those cigarettes first.

  17. Sorry Don. Didn’t mean to call you Del. Let me light those cigarettes for you now.

  20. That’s ok Ahnyer (may I call you Ahn?) – you would have had trouble seeing who I was anyway with things stuck in your eyes. I really thought the cigarettes were lit, but since they are cigarettes of Doom, maybe I need to use the Lighter of Doom instead!

    Curious – can anybody tell me if they ever released a special version of Doom called Doom of Doom? That would really kick some serious butt of Doom!

  21. Um, hailing satan? Yeah, I kinda draw the line there.

    Anastasios? You’re on. And you’re gonnna

    EAT MY DUST!

    err, 21.

  22. I see your dirty tricks, Johnny, trying to get us to write your post for you Friday.

    Of course, I don’t mind at all.

    So here’s my question: We’ve got a new Mac Mini, but my wife has reverted to XP. How do I get her to commit to the switch voluntarily? I should mention that I set up multiple user accounts on the Mac, but Firefox (on her account) doesn’t display her favorite website properly.

    AAAAGGHHH – I asked a real question on CARS! Someone stab me in the eye! Or neck! quickly!!

  24. I’m only posting because my Shortsâ„¢ of Doom® wanted to watch the eye-gouging fun.

    My Pantsâ„¢ of Doom® want nothing to do with this, and want to wait for the …other… post later.
    Personally, I think John is going to be WAAAAY too wasted when he gets back. Either way, it should be fun.

    Did someone need a lighter?
    *warms up iFlame*

    Oh, Step- just steal her toothbrush…
    and it’s not Friday.

    moo

  25. Huh? It’s not Friday? (And I do mean that in both ways, so give me your toothbrush!)

    Oh man, and I had some good plans for tomorrow. I was gonna….well, nevermind. You don’t want to know. Trust me on This One®.

  27. Questions for Friday’s help desk:

    1. How do I go about running Classic applications on an Intel Mac without using a third-party emulator? Lode Runner is essental.

    2. How do I go about running Apple // applications on an Intel Mac without using a third-party emulator?

    3. How do I go about running Newton applications on an Intel Mac without using a third-party emulator?

    4. How do I go about running iPod applications on an Intel Mac without using a third-party emulator?

    5. How do I do all this without paying a dime or breaking a sweat?

  28. WiFi? OK.

    Is it ethical to tap into your neighbor’s unsecured WIFI network?

    What about if you are doing it to download Lesbian Ninja Porn?

    Does it make a difference if your neighbor is a Windows user?

  32. A) If you were going to give Steve Jobs a gift to show your appreciation for all he’s done for us, what would you give?

    2) If OS X were a food, would the Unix underpinnings be more like the cream of the Oreo, or like the seed of the grape?

    III) I have an old G3 Performa that I’m trying to install the SecureWorks Wifi hack on, but I’m having some trouble– I try sticking the cigarette into my eye, but find that my eyelid descends at the last minute to block it. Any tips for keeping an eye open?

  33. Well, I just installed the SecureWorks hack on my toothbrush, and put it into the middle of a pentagram.

    That may not have been the best idea…
    It seems to be getting quite hot in here.

    At least nobody is going to be using it for a while.

    moo

  34. Sir,
    This Satanic Worship, automatic gainsaying of items, persons or articles of which you disapprove, must also cease immediately, on pain of Courts Martial.
    Back in 1876 on the North West Frontier, whilst Lieutenant Jobs was one of my platoon commanders, he investigated an outbreak of Satanism in the local convent and discovered that wifi communication did in fact exist between the fallen Angel and the nuns. That is why OSX is impervious to outside infiltration. Needless to say, the nuns were taken outside and shot at dawn.
    Disgusted Col Rtd

  37. There was story on the Web (so it must be true, right?!) a few years ago about Microsoft aquiring Hell (sorry, I don’t have the URL for it at the moment).

    So, “All Hail Satan” has become “All Hail Bill Gates.” We do NOT want any of that!

  39. JOn, what do you mean “has become”? Microsoft aquired Hell when they developed Window 3.1. Then they unleashed it on the world.

    Where have you been?

  43. Don’t forget there is a prize giveaway for every 111th post until we reach post 666, and the grand prize is awarded.

    For every 111th poster, you will get…..

    AN IPOD SOCK!

    That’s right Bob. This glorious sock is made of the finest… sock stuff… to hold… um. Fuckit Bob… It’s and iPod sock.

    And for the 666th poster, you will win….

    A CHIA TONY BALMER!

    Yes Bob, this Chia Tony Balmer is made from the crushed and ground up skulls of Microsoft’s competitors. Finely molded into the shape of Tony Balmer’s head and fired in Satan’s very own workshop. Thanks to the curse of the antichrist, your Chia Tony Balmer will forever be covered in beads of sweat. Its a prize the whole family can enjoy Bob!

  46. Hey, has anyone else noticed that there are precisely 111 articles in the “CARS” category?

    Coincidence? I think not!

  47. Decartes said, “Cogito, ergo sum.” (I think, therefore I am.)

    Does that mean if I think not, I am not?

    [Splash of water]

    Arghhh, I’m melting!

  48. SATAN!? DON’T MAKE ME LAUGH IN AN UNSPEAKABLY HORRIFIC FASHION!! THAT BITCH BETTER NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT USING MY TOOTHBRUSH!!!

    EVER WONDER WHY HIS NUMBER IS 666!!!!!? 6666 WAS TOO COMPLICATED FOR HIM TO REMEMBER!!!!!!! FORGET ABOUT USING DIFFERENT DIGITS OR ANYTHING, THE SAME ONE REPEATED THRICE IS DAMN NEAR PAST THE LIMIT OF HIS MENTAL PROWESS!!!!!!!!!!!

    WHAT A WANKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  49. I must warn you. Since I am one of the few to get a post #666 (and I’ve lived to talk about it) I can truly warn you of the perils of getting the Post of the beast.

    (see http://www.crazyapplerumors.com/?p=235)

    While being the right hand girl of the Great and Mysterious Lord of the Underworld of doom (do not forget to use the italics. It will make him throw a temper tantrum and trust me it won’t take long before you get sick of hearing that whining.) is fun it gets pretty old quick. While the unending supply of Hot Chocolate and Hot Damn was nice and the musical symphonies of the screams of tormented souls entertaining it gets pretty boring. Plus do not invite those guys to your house. While the Great and Mysterious Lord of the Underworld of doom, ruler of all and Mr. Fantastic is interesting that posse he *has* to travel with is destructive.

    They leave little burning foot prints everywhere and have you ever tried to get the smell of wet HellHound out of your sofa? I finally had enough and told him he’d have to take his friends and get out. That didn’t go over well, but it turns out HellHounds are no match for kittens and ponies are lethal to demons.

    Plus I never got my iPod sock.

  50. Dear Help Desk,

    Who would win in a caged death match between Satan (aka Prince of Darkness, Mephistopheles, Beelzebub, Lucifer, Ash Shaytan, Lil’ Dickens) and the Entity?

    Also, who has more money?

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