29 Aug 06Jobs Personally Fulfilling Battery Replacement Orders.

A reader report on MacInTouch reveals that Apple CEO Steve jobs has taken a personal interest in the fulfillment of PowerBook and iBook battery replacement orders.

But beyond simply making sure the orders of people who bother him personally are filled, Crazy Apple Rumors Site has learned that Jobs himself is personally fulfilling each and every of the 1.8 million orders.

“Steve just really wanted to do this, said Peter Mehring, head of Mac hardware engineering.

“He hates to let down Apple’s customers so he’s personally going door to door to deliver these new batteries.

“Plus, he, uh… well, he fired the whole fulfillment team about three months ago, so…”

According to PowerBook and iBook owners, Jobs has been gracious during his deliveries.

Mac user Andrew Corvin said “Steve said that he was really excited about these new batteries because they don’t explode and that he was sure I would be surprised and delighted about not being burned beyond recognition.

“And you know what? I was!”

Jobs could not be reached for comment for this story, as he was somewhere out on delivery between S. Hosmer and 48th in Santa Barbara.

No Responses to “Jobs Personally Fulfilling Battery Replacement Orders.”

  1. U. D. Mann says:

    First Post

  2. Ace Raider says:


  3. Stranger says:

    Is it me or does it look like Steve is wearing a tie, but no shirt?
    Rather like, after delivering the battery, he will do a striptease?

    That will probably delay the next delivery though…

  4. comacnut says:

    Why is he dressed like a Girl Scout?

  5. Zeb says:

    oooch! I’m seeing the Maytag repairman melded with the UPS driver with a little Santa Claus sprinkled in. Uh, nice to know one can still do graphics using Appleworks.

  6. Don says:

    Will he be using a sleigh? With a bit more of a beard he can be deliverying really exciting Christmas presents in a few months. Can’t wait to get than new gift wrapped electric non-exploding toothbrush (of doom).

  7. Don says:

    Hold on! With exploding batteries, they really are Mac Books of Doom!

  8. Ventzi says:


    Don, you mean “Mac Books of Boom” I guess

    Go, Santa, go…
    …er, I meant “Jobs”
    …I guess


  9. Huh? says:

    Hey, if Santa can do it, Steve can handle a measly 1.8 million people.

    My Pants™® are a bit dissapointed that our 17″ Powerbook isn’t covered, so the Steve™ won’t be stopping by.
    Should people consider leaving cookies out?

    moo (Pants™ 3:16)

  10. disgruntled cynic says:

    I made the top 10?

  11. disgruntled cynic says:

    And eleventeenth?

  12. Dennis says:

    Now let me be sure I understand. . .

    This is a replacement program, so the Great Steve is carrying around some unknown number of flammable batteries that have been turned in? Does this sound like a good idea? Is Steve flame-retardant?

  13. Ficko says:

    “In Santa Barbara”?
    Are you suggesting that Steve is a necrophiliac with a leaning towards Holy relics?
    Shame on you John.

  14. Ace Deuce says:

    See, that’s what Greenpeace is all het up about! There’s way too much packaging there for one notebook battery, especially the non-exploding type.

  15. Jobs came to my neighborhood on a sleigh being pulled by Apple executives. When Jobs took off, I swear I heard him cry out, “On Schiller, Openheimer, Serlet, and Johnson. On Ive, Fadel, Cook, and Tammadon!”

    I think he may have fired the guy with the red nose because he remained behind walking the streets aimlessly talking about getting a job over at Google.com

  16. NWJR says:

    I was hoping for shipment by PONY express.


  17. Bob the wrecker says:

    Bob says: aren’t those google ads hilarious though? Bob quotes: Steve Jobs. Find high paying jobs w/benefits in your area. Doing what you love. Bob unquotes. ROTFL. Jobs already has high paying jobs lready has high paying jobs… ooops, infinite loop going on there… I hop jobs loves what he’s doing. Bob isn’t ™. Or ©. Doesen’t even have pants. Or toothbrush. Or job.

  18. Del says:

    I bet the Apple Executives were riding Ponies!

    Ponies are the only way that Steve would be able to get every battery replaced in just one night.

  19. DocWolfram says:

    Number 19! My lowest yet!
    (Where is everybody else?)

    My Pismo doesn’t qualify either. 🙁

    But the original battery died a year ago, anyway.

  20. Ahnyer Keester says:

    I hear Steve is also handing out copies of the Watchtower Magazine….

  21. blank says:

    In classic passive-aggressive style, Steve is indeed delivering each replacement battery personally, with a big smile on his face…

    …but he licks each one before it goes in the box.

  22. That Cranky Old Guy says:

    Hey! Get off my front porch with that package!

  23. DNS says:

    I’m shocked that the PB or MBP or MB batteries haven’t been defined by the NSA or CIA or FBI as a WMD or IED for that matter…

  24. OMGHAX says:

    The Department of Naval Security?

    Too bad my battery is just a couple digits away from being recalled.

  25. Wazzup with that crazzzzzzy hat?

  26. Powered and Jazzed says:

    Glad you told me… Steve brought mine by about lunchtime… I would have been FLOORED without the heads-up from CARS… FLOORED! But I’m fine. We had some cookies and tofu, then I knew he had a lot more ground to cover, so that was that. Pix are at my website. Really a good guy, by the way.

  27. Bill Gates says:

    Be sure to leave out soy milk and tofu cookies for when he comes down the chimney to deliver the batteries to good Mac boys and girls!

  28. Woz says:

    Um, please, no more references that put “Steve Jobs” and “package” in the same sentence. You just have no idea how he was back in the 70s…

  29. Anonymous says:

    Woo Hooo! Only two more blocks and Jobs will be at my house.

    Just enough time to go to Lazy Acres for some Vegan cookies and… aahhhh… Vegan “milk”
    I hope he likes ginger spice.

  30. John C. Randolph says:

    Bummer. My powerbook isn’t one of the ones in the recall.


  31. rich says:

    when ha came to my house he was wearing heavy make-up!

  32. home loans says:

    Si eres cualquier cosa como mí, odias el pensamiento del gasto cuarenta horas a la semana en un trabajo del punto muerto. Las luces fluorescentes de zumbido, la gerencia idiota, el hecho de que necesitas despertar doloroso temprano – el único alto punto son que viene viernes cada semana. Dije tan a me, allí me consigo ser una manera mejor. ¡Una cierta manera de hacer el dinero que me deja fijar mis propias horas y hacer una cantidad cómoda del dinero!

  33. Daniel says:

    I couldn’t understand some parts of this article Jobs Personally Fulfilling Battery Replacement Orders., but I guess I just need to check some more resources regarding this, because it sounds interesting.