Friday Feature: Crazy Apple Help Desk.

Every Friday, the staff at Crazy Apple Rumors Site answers common help questions based on our vast experience with Apple products and our fervent belief that we know more than you do.

Just one question today, but it’s a big one: What’s up with Security Bitch Watch?

Q: I have a Power Mac G5 with 2 GB of RAM. I recently installed a new memory module and have been experiencing frequent crashing. But instead of talking about that, tell me… what’s the latest on Security Bitch Watch?

A: I was hoping you’d ask that!

Q: I know. You paid me five dollars to ask you.

A: Hush. Talking now.

There’s has been a flurry of activity recently that I’d love to tell you about.

Q: I’ll bet.

A: Still talking.


Thank you.

We’re into day 11 of Security Bitch Watch and George Ou has still failed to deliver on his “couple of days” promise of fireworks. Ou’s most recent update was on Tuesday, which he mis-marked as “10/29/2006”. Now he’s not just defying the rules of responsible journalism, but the Temporal Prime Directive as well.

Will nothing stop this madman?!

Q: Uh…

A: That’s a rhetorical question.

In the update he claimed that his source who said the stock Apple drivers didn’t come from Atheros was what journalists call Schrödinger’s Source: he was both right and wrong at the same time.

Q: Oh, yeah. Didn’t he originally write a post arguing that Atheros had nothing to do with the drivers without actually having talked to Atheros?

A: Right. He postulated that based on information he was hearing from his super-duper top secret source (whose last name probably rhymes with “Raynor”) who turned out to be wrong. Then he wrote a correction in which he postulated that Atheros wasn’t responsible for the part of the drivers that really matters based on… can you guess?

Q: Uh… information he was hearing from his super-duper top secret source?

A: You are correct, sir. He also misrepresented David Maynor as not having “distanced himself” from Brian Krebs’ writing. Krebs wrote that Maynor said he could hack a stock Airport configuration and Maynor’s now only willing to publicly say he used third party hardware and software. If he’s not distancing himself from Krebs, he’s not exactlying spooning him either.

Q: Well, I guess there’s what Maynor is privately saying – you know, to George Ou. He’s probably still trash-talking the MacBook’s stock drivers.

A: Could be. I guess we just have trust our betters in the pundit class. I’m sure they’re looking out for us.

Q: Of course they are. So, what else is going on?

A: Well, this whole incident seems to have spawned a cottage industry of new blogs.

Q: Well, people are pissed and they’re speaking out.

A: Yeah, you know, earlier today Stone Cold John Gruber issued a challenge, saying he would fight David Maynor in 3 rounds of no-holds-barred bare knuckles mano y mano fisticuffs.

Q: He didn’t say that.

A: He did.

Q: No he didn’t.

A: OK, well, not technically. But he did bet him a MacBook, which is the Mac community equivalent.

Q: He called them out and – while it’s really something of a stunt – it makes a point about their claim and how it was presented.

A: Exactly. And that’s really perhaps the major problem: how it was presented. These goofballs attempted the technology world equivalent of a drive-by shooting.

Q: At this point, even if Maynor and Ellch can deliver a hack, they’ve kind of dug themselves into a PR hole, haven’t they?

A: Indeed. See, when you’re trying to make a name for yourself, you should really pick the name you’re shooting for before you open you mouth. And think about what they’ve done since they’ve gone underground. They apparently told George Ou they were going to come out firing and then didn’t. Now they’re just feeding him little dribbles of information. Maybe it’s just me, but that doesn’t scream “security professional” to me.

Q: Hmm. Hadn’t really thought of that angle.

A: Anyway, to sum up, it’s day 11 and we don’t know anything more than we knew on day 1, but we’re still having fun with it.

Q: …

A: …

Q: So… I guess I’ll just ask Chris Breen about my RAM problem, then.

A: Uh… yeah. That’d probably be good.

Q: Great. Uh… thanks…?