08 Sep 06Friday Feature: Crazy Apple Help Desk.

Every Friday, the staff at Crazy Apple Rumors Site answers common help questions based on our vast experience with Apple products and our fervent belief that we know more than you do.


Q: I’ve been a Mac user for years and I’ve only recently become acquainted with the Getting Things Done methodology. Apparently there are a lot of Mac geeks who are really into this. There’s even been an OS X-only application that supports it. I’m confused.  If I’m a Mac cultist, do I have to be a Getting Things Done cultist as well?

A: Not necessarily.  The Getting Things Done cult is a subset of the greater Mac cult.  It’s kind of like a creamy filling.

Q: Ah.  So the whole thing is like a cult Twinkie.

A: Uh, no, no, no. I’d prefer it if you didn’t put it that way as the Cult of the Twinkie is trademarked and they’re highly litigious.

Q: Oh. Sorry. But, this isn’t anything crazy like the Scientologists, is it?

A: Oh, jeez, what are you trying to do to me? Why don’t you just bad-mouth the Free Masons and then we can get sued into oblivion?

Q: Oh. Well… OK. The Free Masons…

A: STOP IT!


Q: I’m a recent switcher from Windows and I’ve been tooling around the Mac web, kind of getting myself acquainted… introducing myself around… you know, that kind of thing.

A: Well, welcome to the neighborhood! We’re glad to have you!

Q: Thanks. Thanks. Everyone’s been super-nice. I was just kind of wondering if there were any sites you could recommend for… well…

A: Yes?

Q: Well, what I’m looking for is… uh… I guess you’d call them MULFs.

A: “MULFs”?

Q: Yeah. You know… Mac Users I’d Like to Fuck.

A: Uh… was this something you had when you were on Windows? WULFs?

Q: No. No. I mean, Windows users are a dime a dozen, so there’s no big turn-on. But Mac users…

A: Well, sorry. I’m afraid I don’t know of any sites like that. That’s not the way we roll here in the Mac world.

Q: Oh. Sorry. I’ll… uh… well… thanks.

A: Hmph.

Q: …

A: …

MACGRUDER: Dude, you were just showing me Hot-N-Dirty-MULFs.com the other day.

A: Oh, like I’m going to tell him! Stupid Windows user!


Q: I have a Mac mini and I recently got a Dell monitor for it. I had a little trouble hooking it up as I had to use an adapter. But it’s working fine now. So…

A: …

Q: Uh…

A: You want that URL again.

Q: Um… yes please.

No Responses to “Friday Feature: Crazy Apple Help Desk.”

  1. Zeb says:

    I got your mac mini……..in Huh?s pants!!!

  2. Nxxx says:

    I read it first, sob,I’m going to hold my breath and die and then you’ll be sorry Zeb.

    No you won’t. Just don’t go down any dark alleys.

  3. Not Zeb or Nxxx says:

    I’ll just let you two talk.

  4. Huh? says:

    You all will NOT believe this! I’m walking around today, and decide I need to poo(not a hard decision).
    I go into the restroom, and drop trou, and lo and behold, there’s a Mac Mini in my Pants™®!
    The weirdest part- there was a Dell monitor adapter on it… strange.

    moo (Pants™® a la Mac Mini)

  5. Carl says:

    Good call not telling that Windowite our secret URL. Macs for Mac users!!

  6. Toast says:

    Ya know, they wanted to post my picture on one of those MULF sites, but I knew there’d be too many pimple-faced windows lusers lurking around. Besides, I already know where to find the cute Mac guys if I ever need a good file system consistency check, if ya know what I mean. 😉

  7. arcsine says:

    I’m remodeling…

    and the guy hasn’t come bake for like a month…

    I kinda messed up and paid him already…

    Do you have the number for some of those free masons you mentioned?

  8. John Moltz says:

    I think you mean “Mac users for Mac users.”

    And you’re right, Huh? I don’t believe you. You’d never had a Dell part in your Pants™.

  9. Ace Deuce says:

    I’ve heard about this “getting things done” movement. It seems that the things they’re getting done are mostly things related to “getting things done” rather than actual things that ought to be gotten done. It reminds me of Phil Hartman’s anal-retentive chef.

    But they are relatively harmless, so what the hey…

    11th.

  10. Huh? says:

    John, just how would you know what’s in my Pants™®?
    Wait.

    Don’t answer that.
    Please.

    moo (Pants™® pants)

  11. Garrett says:

    Cult of the Hostess O’s? Oh, wait, they don’t call them that anymore, now it’s just
    plain old Hostess Donuts Raspberry Filled Artifically Flavored. So, it’s the Cult of
    the Hostess Donuts Raspberry Filled Artifically Flavored? Maybe?

  12. scared monster says:

    I got a Secret-Secret URL, I won’t give it to you.
    It’s like a little box in the big box. But you can be in the big box and not see the little box. Like it’d be outside, or something, but inside.
    (Oh. I’m not clear, again.)
    My, the people of this little box are so nice ! No Tom, or L Ron, or whatever, better even.
    You sometimes talk to them and they don’t answer because they’re so cool. Or deaf. Or blind, or whatever. But cool.

    So cool.
    And exclusive.
    And I don’t find the way outside.

  13. Groucho says:

    John, just how would you know what’s in my Pants™®?
    There must have been a Pants™®-cam on the Mac mini you found. And the secret URL people are mentioning is the address at which it can be viewed…
    Please – don’t anyone publish publish it!  😳

  14. NWJR says:

    MULF? BWAHAHAHAHA!

    I love it. I love it so much, I submitted it to urbandictionary.com

    I suggest you all do the same.

    Oh, and…PONIES!

  15. MULFs! This stuff is priceless! Actually cheaper than the mescaline, but has a much nicer minty aftertaste.

  16. jimothy says:

    Shouldn’t that be MUILFS? Not that I know how’d you’d pronounce it.

  17. nameless norman says:

    nameless norman pronounces it without vowels or consonants

  18. UhhhDude says:

    I’m married to a MUILF, so shut up.

  19. Joe says:

    A little off-topic, but this entire website is offtopic :-P; have you guys seen this? Made my day 🙂

  20. Topics? We don’t need no stinking topics!

  21. Anonymous says:

    Seen what?

  22. Del says:

    The Ponies removed the link in order to maintain their own super secret pony ninja website.

    I can’t put the URL down here because it would get their immediate attention and I don’t want another incident like the one the Peeled Apple covered at the beginning of August. http://www.thepeeledapple.com/

    I can give you the clue that the site is about PILF and you must be below 14.2 at the withers to enter.

  23. Kalli says:

    ichatters.com I get allot of unwanted male attention there

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