Disappointing news from Apple today may have dire implications for the company’s first fiscal quarter.
According to sources, the company has lost the new iPod shuffle.
“This is very embarrassing,” said director of iPod product marketing Stan Ng. “It was around here somewhere and now we can’t find it.
“It’s very small. It’s probably just under something.”
Ng has ransacked his office several times looking for the shuffle, but to no avail.
If Apple is unable to find the shuffle before its October release, it may seriously impact its iPod sales volume for the holiday season.
Several times over the course of a half hour, Ng asked coworkers to survey his body to make sure he hadn’t accidentally clipped it somewhere.
“It’s not on my ass, is it?” Ng asked a visibly uncomfortable administrative assistant. “Look at my ass. Is it on my ass?
“Loretta, c’mon! Look at my ass!”
Other sources believe it’s possible that Marsha in accounting used the entire 500,000 shuffle inventory to clip vendor invoices together before they were sent offsite for storage.
“No, I didn’t look at the clips I used,” Marsha said defensively. “I just do what I’m told. Hal says I gotta clip the invoices together, I clip them together.
“At the end of the day, Hal’s just asking me if I clipped the invoices together. He’s not asking me what kind of clips I used. Sheesh.”
Apple still expects the shuffle will turn up shortly and can’t believe it lost it.