20 Sep 06Disney CEO Reveals iTV Secrets.

Surprising news came from a surprising source today as Disney CEO Bob Iger revealed that Apple’s upcoming iTV device will have a hard drive.

Iger did not reveal whether the hard drive was just for caching streamed content or could be used for storage and retrieval, but he went on to detail several other features iTV will have.

“Steve didn’t go into many details,” Iger noted, “and I hope he doesn’t mind me telling you all this! Ha-ha! I’m kind of new at this! But it’s just that we’re very excited about iTV here at Disney.”

Iger said that the iTV will allow a user to receive wireless streams of alien broadcasts from the Gamma Quadrant featuring fearsome fights between different alien races which are wagered upon by disembodied brains soaking in some kind of brain fluid.

“We have an exclusive deal with the brains,” Iger said proudly.

According to the Disney CEO, the iTV will also allow users to watch movies in the bathroom, should they have a TV already in their bathroom.

“I guess that’s kind of obvious,” Iger admitted. “But I think it’s cool. I’m really looking forward to that.

“Not that I spend a lot of time in the bathroom. Now. I think I’ll probably spend more in there when I get my iTV. I just… think it’d be cool to watch a couple of scenes from, oh, Bubble Boy while you’re waiting…

“Well… never mind.”

Crazy Apple Rumors Site would like to remind Apple followers that getting their rumors from a guy who hangs out with Goofy is if not a step down from getting them from Ryan Meader at least a lateral.

31 Responses to “Disney CEO Reveals iTV Secrets.”

  1. Brian Ragle says:

    Wow. I guess that makes me second?

  2. comacnut says:


  3. Don says:

    Who the hell is Ryan Meader? 5th

  4. vitamin fortified says:

    Got five on it.

    Anyway, Iger left out the part that iTV will also now independently stream Disney sequels for those unfortunate souls who refused to buy Lilo and Stitch- The Bonnie and Clyde years. It will also replace all TV commercial with subliminal messages to go to Disney World. Will be regional appropriate.

  5. Ace Deuce says:

    Ooh … lateral steps. May I have this dance?

  6. Don says:

    Forget my Ryan Meader question – I found him. Unfortunately. Took ages to load the site, esp with all those damn flashing ads on the page!

  7. Nxxx says:

    What are brains?

  8. Huh? says:

    Brains? Isn’t that what you keep in your Pants™®?

    moo (Pants™® in a confused tone)

  9. nameless norman says:

    eleven loves nameless norman

  10. Sudo Nym says:

    Now, I’m as open-minded as the next guy — heck, I’m TWICE as open-minded as the next guy, because my mind is open on both ends — but if you think I’m going to…

    Rats. I forgot what I was going to say.

    Anyway, thanks for this story. It reminded me I have to pick up some brain fluid. Oh, and brain fluid remover, for the carpets.

  11. Ahnyer Keester says:

    Lucky 13th!!

    What Iger forgot to mention is that the hard drive in the iTV isn’t even connected to anything. It is technically “in” the iTV, though. Sources, okay Goofy, believe it is there as some sort of ballast. Others, okay Jafar from Aladdin, thought it might be there just so Apple could trace the source of the leak. And Iger, whom Jafar referred to as “Iago” repeatedly, pretty much blew that be leaking the hard drive publically.

    Steve was mad because he wanted to be Super Spy as he personally hunted down the source and had developed a special written code where A was F and B was 5 and… you get the idea. In response to Iger’s press conference, Steve cancelled the Special Secret Meeting that was to be held in the He-Man Woman Hater’s Club clubhouse in the tree fort on the southwest corner of the Apple headquarters lot. He and Phil Shiller were seen walking together with baseball gloves heading toward a vacant lot not far from 1 Infinite Loop to play some stick ball.

  12. Elmer Fudd says:

    I always though it was kind of hot when Bugs Bunny dressed up like a girl.

    Oh, wait…that was Warner Brothers.

    Never mind.

  13. OMGHAX says:

    iTV is a diesembodied brain!? Cool. Can it play doom though?

  14. Anomynous says:

    Geez, Don, are ya gonna fill the rest of us in?

  15. Buthidae says:

    Macs have been receiving streams from the Gamma Quadrant for years now. How the devlin do you think Software Update works?

  16. blank says:

    “Five-hundred quatloos on the newcomer!”

    I feel a lot like a disembodied brain in some kind of fluid today.

  17. J0n says:

    A Google search reveals that Ryan Meader runs the “Mac OS Rumors” site.

  18. getting their rumors from a guy who hangs out with Goofy is if not a step down from getting them from Ryan Meader at least a lateral.

    This sentence would be easier to read if it was properly punctuated. You need commas (or em dashes) to set off the dependent clause.

    …getting their rumors from a guy who hangs out with Goofy is, if not a step down from getting them from Ryan Meader, at least a lateral.

  19. scared monster says:

    …getting, their rumors, from a guy, who hangs, out with Goofy, is, if not a step, down from getting them, from Ryan Meader, at least, a lateral.

    Strange they didn’t talk about all this at CrazyDisneyRumors.com. Just blabber about a guy who’s hanging in black turtleneck howling “Boooooob !! Come heeeeere !!”, with an axe in his hand.

    Duodecimal, by the way.

  20. Cap'n Groucho says:

    Wasn’t Iger Baron Von Frankenstein’s assistant?

  21. Don says:

    For those still looking up Ryan Meader, here is a great (and not very flattering) post about him:


  22. Wayoffandrunning says:

    why does the drive need to be so difficult? wouldn’t a company as creative as Apple be able to
    develop an easy drive for those of us who are just getting started. Perhaps an automatic
    transmission would help.

    Let’s here it for en-dashes as well. The world needs more punctuation.

  23. Spunkmeyer says:

    Pfft. Ryan Meader. Dude, that’s like kicking a retarded puppy and bragging about it. I think I actually paid attention to MOSR in, like, 1999 or so. What was I smoking?

  24. Don says:

    That is funny! I certainly hope that the guy asking why the German version doesn’t have the 5th checkbox was just kidding.

  25. Rip Ragged says:

    There you are getting free porn from IE when all of a sudden the screen goes blank — damndamndamndamn damn.

    Oh. THAT Ryan Meader.

  26. mrdobnrgi says:


    gujljmlyk mazbwkhs pslblpyu wgfsstfpq …

  27. Johnie says:

    Hmm… sweet! [*../nice_site2.txt*]

  28. Daniel says:

    I couldn’t understand some parts of this article Disney CEO Reveals iTV Secrets., but I guess I just need to check some more resources regarding this, because it sounds interesting.