30 Oct 06New Shuffles Delayed.

Apple’s new iPod shuffle – perhaps the sexiest of the iPods announced at the Showtime event – has been delayed past its promised October release.

While some sources have reported the shuffle will be available this weekend, Crazy Apple Rumors Site has learned that its ultimate release date is still uncertain.

The trouble began when Apple’s supplier for the shuffle revealed that it could not actually make them as small as it had promised.

Despite their repeated claims to have a shrink ray, the Hongfujin Precision Industry Co. facility charged with making the iPod shuffle was ultimately unable to deliver.

“Normally we really check into a supplier’s operational capabilities,” said Apple Senior Vice President of Operations Tim Cook. “But I figured… shrink ray… how hard is that?

Now, Apple is left with several million shuffles that are five times the size they were promised to be.

Fortunately, the company is not without recourse. Thanks to a new engineering process, the Showtime shuffles are made of 100% cotton and have not been pre-shrunk.

Sources indicate that Apple employees worked overtime and spent the entire weekend laundering iPod shuffles in hot water and then running them repeatedly through the dryer.

“If that wool-based technology had worked out, they’d be even smaller,” Cook noted.

The shuffle’s delivery date is still uncertain as no one yet knows how many cycles it will take to get the devices down to size.

Other than Tim Cook and several sources who preferred not being identified, Apple declined to comment for this story.

29 Responses to “New Shuffles Delayed.”

  1. Ace Deuce says:

    I got mine.

  2. Ace Deuce says:

    Actually two—one for each ear.

  3. Ace Deuce says:

    Come on … who wants first post?

  4. Ace Deuce says:

    Don’t make me claim it, because I will.

  5. Yourmedic says:

    I feel like I’ve also been victimized by shrink-ray shenanigans.

  6. Don of Doom says:

    First!

  7. Don of Doom says:

    If you keep shrinking number six it will eventualy become a one – trust me!

  8. vitamin fortified says:

    Eight!

    Are they washing them with Tide Garden Fresh or Cheer Lavender. And what type of fabric softener do you use?

  9. Huh? says:

    Gee, if I knew they needed a Shrink Ray™, I would have let them borrow mine…
    Well, I guess the washing should work- but 5x shrinkage? That may be tough.

    moo (shrink-proof Pants™®)

  10. Nxxx says:

    iWheelbarrow free with each one?
    Invoice to follow.

  11. Sudo Nym says:

    In my day, we wanted BIG things, not tiny things. The bigger the better!

    I just don’t understand you kids today.

    Dare I hope… 11th?

  12. The Highly Esteemed YoYo says:

    I don’t get this story who was the jackass?

  13. Bob the wrecker says:

    if i was as clever as i thought i was, i would have figured out a way to shrink my head

    13

  14. Bob the wrecker says:

    BTW, trick© or treat™

  15. Bob the wrecker says:

    BTW2: they shrunk the ponies, didn’t they? I’m with Tim!

  16. Nxxx says:

    Sorry, forgot.
    Well done, Ace.

  17. Jasonbot says:

    So iSuflle V2.0 is really machine washable?

  18. Ace Deuce says:

    The new Shuffle is indeed washable, but the music has to be removed before washing or it all comes out sounding like The Captain and Tennille.

    (Except Captain and Tennille songs, which come out sounding like Kenny G.)

  19. Vegetarian Coward says:

    It was really just a matter of time before shrinkage was discussed here. This is looking more like Hustler forum than CARS. Well done, John!

  20. NWJR says:

    I KNEW something was amiss when my iPony arrived, but it was the size of a Clydesdale!

    I returned it, of course. Bastards made me pay my own shipping.

  21. UhhhDude says:

    Personally, I never shrink from a challenge. Mostly I wrinkle and fade.

  22. Joe #2 says:

    I’m not sure it makes sense to wash all of them at once.
    You know someone will go overboard and the things will be the size of bacteria.

    It’s that guy in marketing, you know, the one who does his own laundry and wonders why his long sleeve shirts’ cuffs only reach 4″ past his elbows. Never let that guy wash your shuffle.

  23. Jasonbot says:

    That guy scares me! He’ll never wash my shuffle, if I even get 1… If I wash shuffle’s simultaneously will the music get mixed like washing unlike colour clothes? Yes, of course it will. never wash Death metal and classical together, who knows what will appear :O

  24. Anomynous says:

    Probably something along the lines of Metallica’s S&M album.

  25. OMGHAX says:

    Sooner or later they’ll come up with other kinds of rays, like death rays!

    A doomsday device!

  26. Jasonbot says:

    ^^ apple already made the DOOMSDAY DEVICE, look below. see the box with hair? cleverly disquised as an iPhone this object will emit harmful Noob detroying death rays and will bring havoc to the PC world… *evil laugh*

  27. Ace Deuce says:

    Metal and baroque I think get s you Billy Sheehan or Eddie Van Halen.

    Somebody please wash Pavorotti and Tiny Tim together. (No, not their music, the people themselves.) Lawrence Welk will bring the bubbles.

  28. Jon says:

    Actually, it turns out that the manufacturer read the order wrong and produced 40,000 iPod souffles. That made for an awkward meeting.

  29. Rip Ragged says:

    I’ll bet they didn’t wash them in a phosphate-free detergent. And of course they won’t even repair a shrunken shuffle that has anything more modern than Tchaikovski on it. That’s been Apple’s motto for years: If it ain’t baroque, don’t fix it. (badda-boom).

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