Security Bitch Watch – the Sequel!

Hey! Who wants to party like it’s August, 2006?!

Wait! Wait! Don’t go! Baby, I promise it’ll be better this time! It’ll be different! Seriously, baby, this totally isn’t a thing for me! I can kick this any time I want!

Look, see, I won’t talk about it for five minutes.



This is me not talking about it.








George Ou.

OK. OK. That was only thirty seconds. But I thought I heard you say “David Maynor”, so… I don’t know… I thought you wanted to play word association.

Anyway, I’ve got great news!

We’re gettin’ the band back together!

Ou! Krebs! Gruber! The Macalope! Maynor! Ellch! Fox! Fleishman! Uh… Charlie! Jim! Um… er… Gordy! Stinky! Automatic Slim! Legolas! And Michael Caine (he’s in everything)!

Yes, all the characters you knew and loved (or loathed, as the case may be) from Security Bitch Watch 1.0 are back!

What’s brought them together? Why, today’s announcement of an Airport exploit!

This launched a chain reaction of blog posts…





Gruber again!



Uh, wait…

Well, anyway, baby, the heat, the fire, the passion, the love… it’s all back!

OK, not the love…

Something else.

What’s the blogging equivalent of poodles in tutus jumping through hoops?

It doesn’t matter.

Look, baby…

Baby, baby, baby…

Just give it one more chance.


You know you love it, baby.

35 thoughts on “Security Bitch Watch – the Sequel!”

  1. Gruber and Macalope should run for Office in the next elections.

    I can see a Gruber Macalope ticket
    Its got the be better that any Republican / Democrat offering in the pipe line.

  2. John, your clock seems to bit… off. Are you on MST now or
    did Tacoma get up and move to Montana?

    and three…

  3. “George Ou Jizzes His Pants.”

    THAT was classic. Funny even.
    Somehow I knew this day was coming…

    moo (Pants™® with Airport off)

  4. Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou!
    Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou!
    Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou!
    Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou!
    Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou!
    Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou!
    Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou Ou!

  5. I don’t care about security so I really can’t respond appropriately to tonight’s article.

    But I will mention that I always liked the title of that Harlan Ellison story: I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream.

  6. ^ Nah, that was that montgomery guy. Kernal Panic was arch nemesis to To Major Blue Screen during the top secret invasion of Windows in ’95

  7. I know this has nothing to do with the subject of this blog, but you guys seem very clever with the interweb and I was wondering if you could help me understand this (genuine, honestly) email I just got from my son’s school, which has left me very confused…

    “Some parents have reported a problem getting into the DfES website. The address in the letter is NOT a hyperlink you need to type the into your browser box and then follow the links to Consulations, then School Admissions Consultation 2006. Or it might be better to write a letter to the DfES at the address given in the letter.
    Apologises for any confusion.”

  8. (because I thought the problem was that the email address in the word document they sent previously bounced – the URL mentioned in the same doc, on the other hand, worked just fine)

  9. Michael CAINE, dammit! If you are going to reference the single most prolific film actor of all time, at least spell his name right. Don’t make the MC Supreme Fan Club unleash lesbo ninjas on your ass in retribution….

  10. Nameless Norman,

    The interweb teaches many things. There is only one solution to the problem posed by the attached email. Regretably, it involves a hickory switch and a shotgun.

    Does anyone know how to get ubuntu off of cast iron?

  11. I can’t get passed this whole security razzle-dazzle until the underlying issue is solved: How is “Ou” pronounced? I’ve tried a couple of variants: ryhmes with ‘you’ but just the vowel sound. This works, because then I can go “Ou-Ou-Ou” and then I have to change my shorts. If it rhymes with “wow”, that’s what I say when I hurt myself. (Stop that right now! Someone else wants to use the bathroom!) If it is in any way related to the French “oui” I don’t even want to know. Or perhaps there are two separate vowel sounds: ‘O’ and ‘U’ as in “Oh, you have got to be kidding me.” Is this why George is not on radio?

  12. Oh, frackity frack frack. The funny thing is, I spelled “Caine” right when I looked him up on IMDB.

    Hey, “The Dark Knight” is listed as “in production”.

  13. Now I feel cheated. That wonderful, tingly shock of reading a cars article and then seeing “Comments (0)” at the bottom, only to have it taken away by another stupid wordpress bug.


    Its like finding a bag of gold at the end of the rainbow, seeing your first alien, or finding a security hole in a wireless IP stack.

    Its… Its… well its like what it looks like… a beckoning virgin… (0)

    You can see it? Right? Maybe your more into )0(

    It’s OK by me… no really. Its the 0 part that is important.

    My (0) was taken away, crushing my heart. Just ripped from my chest and then just casually used to scrub a table at Denny’s.

  14. Something strange is going on, John! I’m cold! Oh no I asash12711012510712510104104004010212211710110410310112312411111
    15056! Whuagua! Must have gotten something stuck in my C2D’s 802.11n card.

  15. Wow! That news about “The Dark Knight” makes this all worthwhile. Thanks!

    D’oh! Almost forgot to include a comment about some bitch using Ou’s toothbrush. There, I feel much better now.

  16. This is the second part of the trilogy where we find out if the malformed packet will affect Apple hardware and not just some cheap 67th party USB WiFi adapter.

    The episode ends with Apple pointing out that they were never provided with any code and Ou about to hack an Airport equipped MacBook.

    Cliff hanger.

    Wait till episode 3. Where Darth Vader turns out to have invented the Airport and 802.11 standard, fathered Steve Jobs and killed Ou’s grandfather even though that is explicitly not what was said in Episode 4.

    What ever.

  17. I pronounce it “Eeeeew.”

    If I’m going to get bogus facts and useless information, I at least want the opportunity to write UBUNTU in all caps in the comments.

  18. “Ou! Krebs! Gruber! The Macalope! Maynor! Ellch! Fox! Fleishman!”

    And where the hell is Artie McStrawman??!!

  19. Hey, I have I TiBook that it exploitable. But I am not worried. The airport card is protected by excellent aluminum shielding. It could probably use a reboot anyway (its been a long time).

  20. If Automatic Slim is gonna be in the post, how can you leave out Butcher-Knife Totin’ Annie?

    1. nice! And that cover is hawt! I’m hard at work edniitg, so am not doing NaNo this year, but good luck to all those who are! Ohhh, and one tip, dont’ worry about edniitg the first draft. Just write!

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