27 Nov 06Apple Steals MacZOT! Concept

Having previously stolen key product ideas from Watson, Kaleidoscope and others, sources indicate that Apple has now stolen the concept for MacZOT!

Documents obtained by Crazy Apple Rumors Site show that after the holiday buying season, Apple intends to keep sales brisk by implementing MacZOT!’s patented (pending) methods for moving units without actually making any money.

An angry MacZOT! founder Brian Ball lashed out at Apple in a tirade excessively laden with both expletives and gratuitous exclamation marks.

“DamnIT!” Ball shouted. “This is BullSHIT!

“I invented the art of not making any money and Apple knows it.”

The documents indicate that Apple has several promotions it is preparing to lay out at Macworld in January.

  • 100 video iPods will be sold for $1 each.
  • A $25 license for either Final Cut Express, Logic Express or Aperture, depending on your blood type.
  • A mystery bundle for $5 that includes five Apple products, at least one of which is an Xserve.

Senior Vice President of Worldwide Marketing Phil Schiller said Apple believes the promotions will raise the profile of the company’s products.

“We’re going to lose money on these things hand over fist,” Schiller said. “But we’ll make it up in the long run.

“Uh… somehow.

“We haven’t really figured out how. Probably can’t call Brian and ask him. He seems kind of mad.”

Ball reiterated that he is indeed mad and that he does not want Schiller to call him.

39 Responses to “Apple Steals MacZOT! Concept”

  1. vitamin fortified says:

    Do I get credit for a double. Making the last post of the previous article and the first post of the new one.

    #1 and #154 simultaneously

  2. noob sauce says:

    first sauce

  3. Magnanimous Wang says:

    First!

  4. noob sauce says:

    nevermind.

  5. vitamin fortified says:

    Isn’t Apple late to this game? I thought Microsoft already stole this concept when it introduced Zune.

    Maybe it is another case of Microsoft leads and Apple makes sweet monkey love to electronic devices.

    Oh, that should have been Apple follows. Still hearing echoes of the passionate cries of ubuntu, ubuntu!!!!

  6. die2self says:

    No, I think Microsoft did it with the 360. (sixth?)

  7. Carl says:

    This one was really funny. More stories like this, please. “At least one of which is an Xserve.” Classic.

  8. Huh? says:

    Well gang, Moltz is back and has produced a good article.
    I guess we should disable the booby traps…

    Booby….
    hehehehe… booby….

  9. disgruntled cynic says:

    Meh. Somebody told me I could find boobies here.

  10. OMGHAX says:

    I think it was more like “borrowing.” They’re borrowing the not-money.

  11. Nick V says:

    No no, it sounds like Apple’s ripping off more than just ZOT. I mean really the sell our product for less than it costs was done with the consoles first. Sony and MS have both been doing it for years. An MS still hasn’t made any money from its Xbox division.

    Or maybe they just want to be like Amazon who killed their own servers by selling 1000 360s for $100 on Thanksgiving…

    Yeah, Apple’s copying Amazon again. First one click shopping now this!

  12. alan says:

    I want a freakin XServe for $5. Heck, I’d pay $6! And I don’t care about the other products that are included.

    I wonder if I can trade in my work MacBook for this…. hmm…………

  13. Ace Deuce says:

    Yes, the flipper’s paradise! Buy for less than they cost, and sell for more than they are worth.

    Bootstrapalooza!

  14. Nxxx says:

    Welcome back young Johnny lad, hope you had a good Thanksgiving, realising that it is a religious celebration and you therefore did not indulge in tobacco, females (males and sexbpts included), alcoholic beverages, coarse words, gluttony or enjoyment of any form. With such a fine reputation and the backing of the moral majority, you will be the President of the United States of America.

    *After that, he wont notice the furore during his absence.*
    Crafty, what?

  15. Streetrabbit says:

    The Apple Store round my way’s giving away a Trabant with an integrated iPod dock.

  16. Ventzi says:

    And the Apple Store round _my_ way’s giving away an iPod Shuffle dock with an integrated Trabant…

    meow

  17. 2000guitars says:

    Apparently, losing money is not the only thing they’re doing hand over fist…

  18. The Highly Esteemed YoYo says:

    I know precisely how much extra they’ll make with this promotion… zot!

  19. NWJR says:

    They forgot to include a free pony. Dumbasses.

  20. Too all-beef patty says:

    No doubt it’s a revival of bait-and-switch, a truly scary party game involving a closet and an egg timer. After allowing time for the caffeine to kick in, I see it more clearly as a “loss-leader”, which works well on months that end on a Saturday. What’s next? Call-girls, two for a dollar. Can you make it up on volume?

  21. Rip Ragged says:

    Is the Apple store running any specials on Zunes yet? Seems like they’d want to get as many of those out as they can.

    I’m way ahead of MacZot and Apple. I’ve been not making money for years. In fact I’ve been running in the red since 1969. Beat that.

  22. Joe #2 says:

    Word on the street is that another one of the items in that 5 for $5 deal is an Evil Goat™.
    All Hail the Demonlord Baaaaaaaagorath!

  23. DocWolfram says:

    And 23 is prime!

  24. Squished Squirrel says:

    WOOT! Bring on the $5 BOC!

    What a bonus! Apple includes 5 craps in it’s BOC, Woot only does 3!

    http://www.woot.com/Forums/ViewPost.aspx?PostID=826294

  25. Steve G. says:

    XServe for $5, but the $2995 shipping and handling fee is the real kicker.

    Gotta read the fine print.

    Umm.. there was fine print, wasn’t there?

  26. scared monster says:

    (My-oh-my : do you think we can get banned from a blog ? How can I edit all I said ?) (Hey ! Didn’t think a word of it ! I can prove it ! I got MRI records of all that period that can show I didn’t think at all ! I’m like-dead ! You can’t hurt a like-dead, nor give it to dogs to play with ! Mercy !!)

    Can the SexBots Shuffle be included in the promotional offer ?

  27. Rip Ragged says:

    Note to Microsoft: If Zune were to come out in Avocado, or Harvest Gold so it would go with the kitchen appliances in my double-wide, I might have to give it another look. Also, the FM tuner is really cool, but for 250 simoleons I think I should be able to play my old cassettes, too. Also, the little woman asked if you could make one that plays 8-tracks, because she still has all of The Carpenters albums on 8-track and we’d really hate to have to replace all that with cassettes. They’re kind of a family heirloom.

  28. Don of Doom says:

    Just to remain OT, but following on from RR’s comments, when casettes came out, everyone updated their favourite albums (ie. purchased them again), then CD’s came out, they did the same, maintaining music sales. But, with the iPod (and other digital music players), people don’t have to purchase their music AGAIN, they simply rip the CD’s that they already own. That is the main reason that music sales are down….

    Sorry, got all serious there (thought I was on Mac Rumors for a minute there)…..back to the SexBots…..mmmmmmm….SexBots. Can you buy them in Avocado, or do you just have to not wash it after use to get the same effect?

  29. corrector says:

    Sony makes millions out of their PS2 which NEVER ever sold at under cost price. MS had to do this with the Xbox to get into the console market.

    Sony is now doing the MS business model thing with the PS3 which MUST be sold under cost since the blue ray drive is expensive. But it will not always make a loss, maybe after a year it will break even.

  30. Fioricet and blood work….

    Fioricet and blood work….

  31. aiestbqpnh says:

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  32. MDavis says:

    I am not sure that I can completely understand your comments. Would you be so kind as to expand on your reasoning a little more before I comment.

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