05 Dec 06Analyst Says Apple Already Sold Out of iPhones.

Analysts have reached a fever pitch in their attempts to outdo each other in iPhone prognostication.

A report from Piper Jaffrey’s Gene Munster earlier today claimed that it is “almost certain” that Apple will announce an iPhone in January. This prompted Daniel Niles of Lehman Brothers to declare that not only will Apple announce an iPhone, it actually already has and they’re sold out.

In his first quarter forecast for Apple, Niles said that Apple has already sold 7 million iPhones and 3 million iPhone Pros, and that the company is seeking relationships with other Chinese manufacturers because it is unable to keep up with demand.

In reality, Apple has not announced and refuses to comment on the existence of the iPhone.

Wall Street Analysts call Niles’ report “premature speculation.”

Reached for comment, an embarrassed Niles was apologetic.

“I don’t know what happened,” Niles said. “Maybe things were going a little too fast. Back and forth, faster and faster… all this hot speculation… I think I just got too excited. Maybe it was too long since the last time I wrote one of these. Maybe it was a combination of things.

“This has never happened to me before. I swear.”

Apple sighed heavily and declined, yet again, to comment on the iPhone.

46 Responses to “Analyst Says Apple Already Sold Out of iPhones.”

  1. Rip Ragged says:

    My first First. I feel so cheap.

  2. Rip Ragged says:

    Oh, wait. That’s because I am cheap.

  3. Ace Raider says:

    But are you cheap and easy. That’s the dividing point for me…

    and 3rd like a turd.

  4. Don of Doom says:

    4th like a ……… one more after three

  5. Carl says:

    C’mon! C’mon! Yeah, baby! Elev-uuuughn.

    Oh shit.

    Shit, shit, shit.

    Too soon.

    Sorry… um.

    Yeah sorry.

    Hey. We can maybe try again in like a half hour, right?

  6. Don of Doom says:

    Half and hour?! My god Carl, you are an energetic little commenter aren’t you. I normally have to wait at least an hour before commenting again. Some beer and pizza during the interval usually helps as well.

  7. Psyko says:

    Did I get seven?

    MARK

  8. Huh? says:

    Magical number eight…. with a tissue and lotion standing by.

    You know, in case I need to blow my nose and to take care of my dry… hands.

  9. Ace Deuce says:

    Premature speculation was a problem for me until I talked to my pharmacist — now I can go all night without speculating.

  10. croikle says:

    setting up for…twenty-two!

    oh…a bit early. maybe I should look into that, ace deuce

  11. ergo says:

    I’m so excited to have11 I forgot to have anything to say!

  12. vitamin fortified says:

    Well I am tenth. So I guess I am having delayed speculation.
    But I hear iPhone no more than 2 hours beforehand can provide prolonged speculation for up to 24 hours.

  13. ergo says:

    Whew! Now that the pressure is off… Actually I was with a girl who wanted me to speculate as fast as I could. She claimed that my brain was so big it hurt her… uh… perception, yeah, perception. Anyway after I had spurted out a load… of opinions… we could slow things down a bit and… talk long into the night. She dumped me for some free thinker with a big ego. Cognitive Tease!!!

  14. Nxxx says:

    Ace beat me to it.
    Bugger.

  15. The Highly Esteemed YoYo says:

    I already made my comments pertaining to this post seven posts ago. I am so embarrassed.

  16. Too all-beef patty says:

    I’ve tried speculating in reverse, attempting to identify new products after they have been released. The longer you wait, the more difficult it is to generate interest in your observations. The challenge is to maintain a sense of anticipation once your readers have used the product for years.

    Late at night is not impressive, try it first thing in the morning.

    First early.

  17. Too all-beef patty says:

    YoYo is not early, just extremely late.

    I stand by my claim.

  18. UhhhDude says:

    HELLO? HELLO? ARE YOU CALLING ME ON YOUR iPHONE AGAIN? YOU KNOW I CAN’T HEAR YOU!

    And second! (to comment on the actual story!)

    Also, you know you’ve been on CARS too long when you can remember when Huh? had no Pants®{TM}.

  19. Joe #2 says:

    But we like his Pants™ a lot.

    And I was wondering why my credit card had a bill for an iPhone and it wasn’t released yet. Now I know.

  20. Huh? says:

    Ah, yes… The days with no Pants™®. *sniff*

    Pants™® are doing well, and are off on some well deserved holiday time.
    Should be back first thing in 2007.

    Oh, for those who remember Shorts™. They’ve been released.
    It just wasn’t working for the team.

  21. OMGHAX says:

    Already sold out of your mother!

  22. Reality Distortion Field? WHAT Reality Distorion Field? says:

    Woo Hoo!! Double-e-lev-en!

  23. Anomynous says:

    Most CARS posters have been prematurely speculating on sexbots for years now. That must be why Apple’s sexbot line is such a mess.

  24. OMGHAX says:

    Hah! I made your name, date, and number bold and italic! Hah!

  25. Apathetíque says:

    Ha-Ha!

    Quintuple-oneth!

  26. Psyko says:

    Hey, It’s broken.

    You can’t blame it on me this time GPers!

    MARK

  27. Swedish Christmas Goat says:

    Skillz, OMGHAX, ardently aggravated (and ambitiosly alliterated) skillz.

    Oh no, napalm!

  28. Swedish Christmas Goat says:

    phoey.

    and….. baaaah.

  29. Don of Doom says:

    First! – in bold!

  30. Garrett says:

    I’ve got two words for ya!

    UBUNTU!

    Errr, ok, I only had one word, but that one word is so
    profound that it sums up the entire article, or for that
    fact, all articles on CARS ever!

  31. Del says:

    No breaking the comments or else John will take our nifty tags away 🙁

  32. Del says:

    I’ve had my iPhone for about a year now, I don’t know what the frenzy is about. I will confirm that this is not the first time that Niles has had this premature speculation problem.

  33. Del says:

    This is a test.

    Bored… stuck at work… just seeing if closing the tags out fixes anything.

  34. OMGHAX says:

    Muah hah hah, I relish the chaos that I have conceived!

    Nah, he’ll probably just edit my first post and include a closing tag.

  35. OMGHAX says:

    Actually, I didn’t mean to screw it up at first. I was in a hurry and assumed that this wordpress installation could handle that kinda thing.

  36. null says:

    He meant to do it. I have it on tape…

  37. Rip Ragged says:

    I can’t read a damned thing. People have been speculating all over the screen. I’m gonna need a roll of Bounty and a shitload of Windex.

    We’re number one.

  38. Streetrabbit says:

    I’ve been using an iPhone for years. Gaffered an old Nokia 5700 to an old Newton and voila! Works a treat….except the Newton was in the shed for a few years and doesn’t turn on anymore.

    But other than that she’s a beauty.

  39. Joey Lange says:

    hey windex was invented in my hometown

    represent racine wisconsin!

  40. John Moltz says:

    Thanks for the assist, Del. I fixed it up above.

    Consider yourself warned, OMGHAX.

  41. OMGHAX says:

    I consider myself humbled! Forgive me oh mighty lord for I have forgotten to close my html tags!

  42. stig says:

    How about deleting “First Comment!” comments as off topic?

  43. Del says:

    If they started deleting off topic comments around here there would be nothing left!

  44. […] This is like the flip-side of Tuesday’s Crazy Apple Rumor. Sadly for Mr. Moltz, the Apple rumor world has become self-parodying. […]

  45. Babaloo says:

    Joey Lange,

    Are you sure you don’t mean the lesser-known Magic Glass? (D.W. Davies Co.) Never did like Magic Glass…..
    – born in, raised in, and escaped from, Racine….

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