11 Jan 07Two Macworld facts

  1. In my quest to touch as many Apple executives as possible, medical I actually did manage to touch senior vice president of retail Ron Johnson, but he was the only one. He was talking to someone and I walked up and touched him on the arm and walked away. He seemed confused. I have no idea why.
  2. Peter Cohen really did grab my ass. Apparently the social rules that apply at Macworld are similar to those in prison.

No Responses to “Two Macworld facts”

  1. gdw says:

    I knew it. Apple is creating a secret prison of Mac users, and using MW as a starting point!

    Actually, I don’t know what I’m talking about, I’m just hoping my post has more substance than something like “Second!”.

  2. gdw says:

    Or, ya know, “First.” That works too.

  3. Redeyebase says:

    well, since you didn’t say second, i will. SECOND

  4. Redeyebase says:

    ok, fourth.

  5. Loose Leaf says:

    All in favor…

  6. Carbonfish says:

    Aye… What did I just “aye” to? Seventh!

  7. Carbonfish says:


    Please refrain from using the tiny font size. Those of us who have attained respectability through our persistent existence (formerly referred to on these pages as “Geezers”) can’t read the tiny print without slamming on our + buttons about eighty times.


  8. OMGHAX says:

    You should have tapped him on the shoulder and then walked away totally innocent-like, and he woulda been like, “Gosh jeepers, is Moscone West haunted with the ghost of Macworlds past? Or is it just Gil Amelio?”

  9. Open Source cheaper iPhone?


    Oh and it allows 3rd party Apps unlike the Apple iPhone.

    Oh yeah baby, yeah!

  10. Now when Cohen grabbed your ass, did you feel violated like a picked-too-soon delicate flower or just warm and tingly all over like a mild electric shock?

  11. Nxxx says:

    Moltz are you suggesting Guantanamo, or however you spell it, is an Apple Inc. product?

  12. Sir Macallot says:

    Assgrabbing at MW?

    CEWL!! :oP

  13. The Highly Esteemed Yoyo says:

    Nothing to see here, move along.

  14. jimothy says:

    Let’s set some ground rules here, okay? If your last name is Johnson, you simply don’t, under any circumstances, name your son Rod, Richard, or Peter. You just don’t do it, god dammit!

  15. J0n says:

    The title of this post (“Two Macworld facts”) concerns me.

    The posting of “facts” on the CARS website is, I believe, a violation of nature.

    Please refrain from such behavior in the future.

  16. too all-beef patty says:

    Just woke up, am I first?

  17. Rip Ragged says:

    Facts are odd things. I prefer to avoid them. Ass-grabbing facts, though, are a slightly different beast.

    I prefer to fantasize about Carmen Electra – dribbling melted pasteurized process American cheese into her cleavage – grabbing my ass with one hand while she stuffs a burrito into her face with the other one.


  18. Major Flatus says:

    If someone grabbed my ass (and I’m not saying they did). they’d have their hands full.

  19. Biff Whammy says:

    The OB/GYN who delivered my sister was named Dick Johnson. Really.

  20. NWJR says:

    I’ve resorted to grabbing my own ass.

  21. John Moltz says:

    My parents have a friend named Dick Sores. Really.

  22. Ijit says:

    A friend of mine came across someone named “Candy Sugarbottom” while working for some company that sorted personal data for other companies. We where joking about the poor girl requiring platemail during school, when it suddenly occurred to me, that we didn’t actually know the sex of this individual… which just makes it so much worse, a guy, named candy sugarbottom…

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