Apple Inc. and the Beatle’s Apple Corps announced today that they have entered into an agreement to share the “Apple” trademark. This replaces a previous agreement and marks a new – more collaborative – stage in the two companies’ interaction.
While the announcement says that the terms of the settlement are confidential, Crazy Apple Rumors Site was able to obtain the following list of items that are included:
- The entire remastered collection of the Beatles music will be available only through iTunes, but Apple must also take all that warbly crap Yoko did, too.
- Apple will create a special-edition Ringo iPod, which – in a secret arrangement worked out between Paul McCartney, Yoko Ono and Steve Jobs – will actually just be a regular iPod with “Ringo” engraved on the back.
- Apple Corps will also drop an unrelated lawsuit against Phil Schiller over the similiarities between “Schillermania” and “Beatlemania”.
- The “sosumi” system sound will be renamed “multi-year non-binding licensing agreement”.
- Jobs gets to smoke the last bit of residue from the bag of hash Lennon was on when he wrote his songs on Magical Mystery Tour.
- Paul McCartney will pen a soulful, heartfelt ballad to the Quartz Composer Engine.
- To seal the deal, Jobs’ daugher Lisa will marry Sean Lennon, the son of John Lennon and Yoko Ono. In exchange, Jobs will receive one sturdy ox.
Apple Inc. and Apple Corps declined to comment for this story, but did issue a statement indicating that CFO Peter Oppenheimer “is the walrus. Goo goo g’joob.”