Awesome Review Overshadows Product.

The release of Apple’s new Airport Extreme Base Station has prompted a plethora of rave reviews.

Strangely, however, all the raves are not for the product itself, but for a review of the product.

Yes, the reviews are in and Glenn Fleishman’s review is as thrilling a review as you’ll read in the set that is reviews of the Aiport Extreme Base Station.

Review reviewers from John Gruber to Mark Frauenfelder have declared Fleishman’s review is better than the product itself.

“This is the review of the Airport Extreme Base Station,” raved Gruber. “Thou shalt take no other reviews before this.

“Check out this bit: ‘Apple just needs to step up to the plate and add gigabit Ethernet to fulfill this speed demon’s full potential.’ Oh, snap! You got served, Apple!”

The pure awesomeness of the review has caused some confusion.

“When I read Fleishman’s awesome review, I thought, wow, this might just be better than sliced bread – better than 10 toasters full of sliced bread,” said Noah Eklestein, an AirPort Extreme Base Station buyer at a suburban Virginia Apple Store.

“But when I got it home and plugged it in, I was really disappointed. Eventually, I realized it was the review I was so excited about. Not the base station.”

The prolific Fleishman was predictably humble about the rave reviews for his review.

“It does seem that many people were interested in my review, for which I am very grateful,” Fleishman said. “It was a little weird when I noticed there were people standing outside of my house with their Airport Extreme Base Stations asking me to sign them. I didn’t make the Airport Extreme Base Station or anything. I just reviewed it. Albeit quite brilliantly.”

Fleishman has also been fielding requests from several Hollywood studios seeking the rights to make the review into a full-length feature movie.

“If such a deal can be constructed so that it’s amenable to both sides, I would be interested, but I will insist that I retain full creative control. I’d hate to see my review turned into some piece of crap buddy film with Owen Wilson and Bernie Mac.

“I’m thinking, oh, I don’t know, maybe Kevin Spacey could play me reviewing the Airport Extreme Base Station. If he’s available. If not, maybe Ed Harris. He’s good. I’d love to see Paul Giamatti play the Airport Extreme Base Station, but I’m somewhat flexible on actors.”

Fleishman said his one non-negotiable point is that it be directed by Christopher Nolan.

“I think only the taut suspense of, say, Memento could do justice to my review of the Airport Extreme Base Station.”

When asked to comment, Apple refused to stay on the subject of the review and kept trying to talk about some product called the Aiport Extreme Base Station.

36 thoughts on “Awesome Review Overshadows Product.”

  1. With all those days of missed posts, I guess CARS lost some viewers, oh well. 4th helpings for me please.

    And could John Moltz/Gruber/Jobs sign my iPony?

  2. Number 9.

    I read it. I don’t care who knows it either. That was a damn fine review of the review review, John. You’re looking lovely tonight, but don’t you think the blue eyeshadow is just a little over the top? Trust me, sparkles are just totally last year.

    I already took two of those. Give me a handful of the pink ones.

  3. Could somebody get Anastasios Booby Chalcedon a Big Mac. Sounds hungry to me…

    As to the review, or should I say The Review!™, I laughed, I cried. It was better than Cats.

    But not better than Del’s kittens.

  4. I can’t wait for the Broadway revue of the review review. Maybe Nathan Lane can play the product.

  5. Taut. Taut. It’s Taut! Not taught. How many times do I have to tell you? Friggin review review reviewers…

  6. “In a World where millions spent years toiling with overpriced dome-shaped products, one wireless access point was a long time coming…”

    Hmmm… the trailer is going to be really hard.

  7. The review of the review of the review led me to spin my head off and sent me over the spaces of unknown spaces, if that means something to someone, (that I doubt).

    I would like to have some review just to come back home.

    I left a Ham-and-Cheese sandwich nearby my iMac, and I have some sentimental attachement to it.

    If that means something to someone.

  8. No, no, no. Here, let me use it in a sentence:

    Christopher Nolan done taught you the meaning of the word “suspense” in his movie Memento.


  9. Tautology: the repetition, in the definition, of information already provided by the term designating the concept.

  10. There is also ‘Tort’, a legal term.

    Hell, who really cares?

    I feel bad now as I can imagine poor John, sitting in the corner of a darkened room, silently sobbing.

  11. Yeah, the crumpled shadow of a man could be mistaken for the MS engineers who have been reading the Vista reviews (which couldnt’ carry Fleishman’s jockstrap) but we recorded the voice and the waveform matches yours.

  12. You need the book of the making of documentary of the annal of the development of the deal memo to contract out the initial treatment of the adaption of the DVD extras sequel of the TV serial version of the documentary film of the fan convention for the fans of the review.

    You need this more than head lice.

  13. Damn — thanks to Jason, I’ve got Don LaFontaine’s voice running through my head.

    You know, if I could get it to narrate the rest of my work day, it might not be so bad. “In a world brought to a standstill by endless meetings, …”

  14. People, please. You have to think about the… Wait. I forgot my whole point. Did I have a topic? Never mind. I already have a fresh box of tissues.

    Has Anybody Seen my Leatherman? for $200, Alex.

  15. #24: I heard my name.

    And Rip, I saw “My Leatherman”, twice in fact, because the first time some guy behind me was breathing so hard it fogged up my popcorn.

  16. You know, that’s just the kind of thing that really gets my goat. People should have more consideration for others at the movie theater. Am I right? Leave the Thighmaster ™ at home! Dammit.

    Speaking of that, has anyone seen my goat?

    Saturday Night in Bakersfield for $100, Alex.

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