Apple Deemed A Sweatshop.

A leading human rights organization has asked the U.S. government to declare Apple a sweatshop for abusive employment practices.

While the company has in the past been chided about conditions for workers in Chinese factories that produce the iPod, this condemnation was particularly unusual as it related to conditions at One Infinite Loop.

Mark Ridley of Human Rights Now said “Recently a whistle-blower brought to our attention an egregious example of just how poor conditions are at Apple.

“This individual – whose name we will not reveal to protect him from retaliation – often works more than 80 hour work-weeks. He has to be available at the drop of a hat. The pressures on him to perform again and again and again are tremendous.

“And yet he makes just one dollar a year.”

Ridley’s organization has asked the government to sanction Apple and to restrict its ability to conduct business until conditions are improved.

“Workers like this poor individual live in constant fear that their superiors will make their lives a living hell – removing their so-called ‘perks’ such as the their basic means of transportation to and from the sweatshop – and calling them names like ‘goober’ or ‘dorkus’… ‘chowderhead’… ‘pinky’… ‘mock turtleneck boy’. It’s unspeakable psychological torture.”

The government has agreed to look into the case and is expected to interview the whistle-blower at a really, really, really nice sushi place.

34 thoughts on “Apple Deemed A Sweatshop.”

  1. That whistle-blower has to blow a year’s salary on the skycap every time he wants to climb aboard his Gulfstream. Poor fella.

  2. I thought ole Steve-O worked 168 hour weeks. Is he slacking off? Maybe that’s why that new codec thingy isn’t 4:4:4.

  3. Moltz,

    You forgot to mention that the poor bugger has to work for other companies as well to make ends meet.

    AND what about us, the Apple consumers? We have to put up with work site bullying for months, just to buy a Nano. Well, you have to, I’m retired.

    Oh and Good Morning Ace.

  4. …and that’s even not enough to purchase a Leop…

    Ooops !

    Sorry.

    Won’t do it again.

  5. If I had something witty to say, this is where I would say it.

    However, I’ve got nothing today.

    Sorry.

    Now, if the discussion thread touched on Jennifer frickin’ Connelly (and who wouldn’t want to do some touching on her?), I might be able to come up with something….

  6. I think you should have stopped at this “yet only earns one dollar per year”… that was just great. I read it to my gf as serious news and stopped with this line and it worked so perfectly that I skipped the rest.

  7. I hear he’s being forced to dress up in a mouse suit and be nice to kids at least one weekend a month. The only problem is Mickey keeps kicking parents and calling the kids bozos, telling them their karmas are wrecked for eating meat.

    But then a mouse in mock turtleneck (what other kind of turtleneck could he use? He mocks everyone not his equal) is likely to give kids nightmares. He might be better suited for the new exhibit “Pirates of Silicon Valley, a Tribute to Computer Entrepenurs, Plastic Surgeons and the Women Who Love Them Or At Least Beat them With Dominatrix Whips.” Rumor has it Hooters is a sponsor.

    Not only that, the SEC has put a lien on his Cupertino bank account, which has accumulated $11 since he opened it shortly after the NeXT takeover of Apple in 1997. They’re garnishing at least 3 cents per year, at a cost to our government of 75 cents, not counting $125,000,000 in attorney’s fees.

  8. This is totally fake, Chinese workers don’t make $1 a year. My wife has a relative who works in Shenzhen in a factory, and previously she worked at an iPod factory and she made $150-200 USD per month.

    Not great, but for the market in China, a little above average for the common worker.

    This story is complete bullshit.

  9. IF the guys complaining, I’ll take his job and give up the one dollar salary, but I’ll keep the benefits.

  10. Thanks, Jack, for bringing a little realism to this woebegone site.

    It’s amazing that some people can read this stuff and think it’s serious. I swear. The irony is so thick you could cut it with plastic table ware on a paper plate even after you just finished off a second helping of baked beans and potato salad on the same plate while you’re balancing it on your knee and trying to be nice to screechy little shit niece who your sister makes sing every time the family gets together. I mean that’s irony, right? Or was that just stupid?

    I probably should go to bed.

    Keep an eye on things for me, Jack.

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