A report stating that the online presence of Macs in the U.S. doubled in the last eight months has been trumpeted across the Mac web as a sign of the platform’s growing success.
However, a subsequent analysis of the data by the firm WebSideStory has revealed that the growth does not come from an increase in the number of Macs online, but in the activity from Mac users.
Or, specifically, Mac user Adam Ballenger of Portland, Oregon.
By correlating the IP addresses in the data, WebSideStory was able to pinpoint a dramatic increase in traffic from Ballenger’s iMac.
“At first we were unable to explain how the increase in traffic correlated so closely with the U.S.,” said WebSideStory analyst Richard Marquist. “Then we realized it correlated with Oregon. Then we realized it was Portland.”
And then they found Ballenger.
Reached at his apartment, 25-year-old Ballenger explained how he personally managed to surf as much as all other Mac users in the U.S.
“Back in September,” Ballenger said, “I discovered this thing – I don’t know if you’ve heard about it…
“But there are these sites… online… that have pictures of naked women on them! Yeah, I know! It’s hard to believe! But that’s not all. Some of them even have pictures of people having sex! It is just… wild! I mean, I was just surfing along and BLAMMO! I had never seen anything like that before! I thought, ‘Hey, I want to see more of this!‘ Holy smokes!”
And so Ballenger did. He hasn’t left his apartment in eight months but he has drastically impacted his platform of choice.
Unfortunately for the Mac, he believes the increase in its online market share is at an end.
“I can keep surfing, but there’s just so much self-gratification a guy can do. It’s been eight months. I’m exhausted. I think I need a break.”
Apple declined to comment for this story but several Portland area pizzerias indicated that the company has been delivering free pies to Ballenger’s address for the past five months.