14 May 07Apple Working On Killer App For The iPhone.

Sources inside Apple’s software engineering group indicate that the company is hard at work putting the finishing touches on the killer app for the iPhone, which is set to be released next month.

As users have come to expect from Apple, the application takes a real-world problem and delivers an integrated solution featuring an ease of use unlike anything else currently available.

According to sources, by combining Google Maps, Craig’s List and the iPhone, Apple will provide the mobile cellular customer a heretofore unknown ability to easily find hookers and strip joints.

Speaking on the condition of anonymity, CEO Steve Jobs said “By leveraging our existing relationship with Google and a new one we’ve forged with Craig’s List, we’ll have randy cell phone users satisfied faster than you can say…

“Well, something dirty.”

The application is called iVice and uses APIs specially written for Apple that allow the iPhone to provide a Google Map of the closest prostitutes and adult entertainment outlets posted to Craig’s List.

“Craig’s List – the most complete list of live adult entertainment data – provides the addresses which Google Maps – the best mapping application – displays on the iPhone – the most revolutionary mobile platform,” Jobs explained.

“This just made sense.”

“And I’d like to see someone say the iPhone doesn’t have a serious business application now. If ever there was a business application, this is it.”

Other than Jobs, Apple representative declined to comment for this story because they thought Jobs would get mad.

35 Responses to “Apple Working On Killer App For The iPhone.”

  1. Dreil says:

    first

  2. Dreil says:

    Man, I posted 7 mins after publishing and still got first? Peeps are slacking

    Second

  3. redeyebase says:

    3,3,3,3,3,3,3

    That’s 3 in case you can’t read.

  4. redeyebase says:

    “randy” ???

  5. redeyebase says:

    Oh and correction at two o’clock:

    “the most complete list live adult entertainment data”

    hmm, i think there’s an “of” missing somewhere.

  6. John Moltz says:

    Oh, I’m sorry, redeyebase, were you saying Steve was wrong about something?

    Hmm?

  7. disgruntled cynic says:

    Worse than redeyebase, Moltz – you corrected Jobs?!?!

    And without editor’s brackets around your modification, too. Tsk.Tsk. Steve will not be happy.

  8. redeyebase says:

    Oh, heavens! No, no. Steve? Wrong? No way! I just meant … oh I see, never mind.

  9. Angry German says:

    NEIN!

  10. His Steveness says:

    ninth little pony

  11. redeyebase says:

    But … randy? Oh, *that* kind of randy… OK.

  12. Angry German says:

    His Steveness was wrong again. The world has officially ended. Check please.

  13. Carbonfish says:

    Lucky number THIRTEEN!

  14. Carbonfish says:

    Well I don’t know about Cupertino, but in Portland you don’t need advanced technology to find hookers and strip joints. Hell, you can’t swing a Wii controller in that town without putting some poor hooker’s eye out. And as to strip joints? Don’t get me started…

    Jobs is going to have to come up with something better than that in P-town.

    Killer app indeed. Hrumph.

  15. Nxxx says:

    I protest. Steve wasn’t wrong, he was addressing Data, a character in that crap space programme.

  16. llama says:

    nerds!

  17. Sudo Nym says:

    Speaking of swinging a Wii controller, I’ve heard rumors that the iPhone can be used as a Wii controller with the help of a killer app called iOut.

    Just imagine thousands of yuppie gamers flinging their $500 cell phones through their 60″ plasma HDTVs. That, my friends, is the engine of the American economy at work.

  18. Nick says:

    Sex and drugs and rock-and-roll.

    So there’s iTunes for the rock-‘n-roll and iVice for the sex, but you know what’s missing?

    iScore.

  19. Rip Ragged says:

    Nineteen. It’s prime and it’s mine.

  20. Rip Ragged says:

    Food for thought:

    Steve says that the iPhone will be out in June.

    AT&T says it will be available on June 15th. I’m willing to stake my old favorite pair of Joe Boxers that AT&T’s prediction is right on +/- 2 weeks.

    Killer app, indeed.

  21. Candace says:

    “Apple representative declined to comment for this story because they thought Jobs would get mad.”

    Wow. After reading that, my first thought was, “CARS is hiring writers from Loop Rumors!”

  22. Doc Wolfram says:

    We are not loopy!

  23. Streetrabbit says:

    No mention of the particle beam emitter?

    Hmm…that’s odd.

  24. John Moltz says:

    “Swinging a Wii controller.” Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

  25. blank says:

    Sounds like more of a “you’ll be getting the business” app. to me.

  26. OMGHAX says:

    Craigslist isn’t just for that! I bought an xbox there! Admittedly it did come with a complete DoA collection, but still!

  27. shawk says:

    At least the thing doesn’t squirt.
    That would be gross.

  28. kingthedestroyer says:

    All Hail Steve, correct again, its got to be the most serious (and useful) business app. of the new century. I wasn’t going to get an iPhone, couldn’t justify it, but now, thanks to Steve’s inovative ideas, I’ll need to order a dozen just to keep ahead (no, not that kind of head) of the competition.

  29. Ace Deuce says:

    If the iPhone really gets a killer app, then I’m sure the NRA will get behind it and it will be sure to succeed.

    And the Department of Defense will finally buy an Apple product.

  30. Carbonfish says:

    John Moltz Says:
    May 15th, 2007 at 6:49 am

    “Swinging a Wii controller.” Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

    Q: Billy…? What are you doing, you’ve been in there for a long time??

    A: Nuh, nuh, nothing mother!

  31. Huh? says:

    Nothin’ but a swangin Wii…. Uh huh….

    Did that make ANY sense?
    Never mind.

  32. Paul says:

    They should port Asok’s killer app from Dilbert: a database of known killers, searchable by knick name or tattoo…

  33. Steve G. says:

    And here I thought the iPhone would shoot frickin’ laser beams! Damn!

  34. Kunal Naik says:

    Does apple iphone support video output for hooking up to bigger screen?

    Please reply me as i am keen to buy one.

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