Friday Feature: Crazy Apple Help Desk.

Every Friday, the staff at Crazy Apple Rumors Site answers common help questions based on our vast experience with Apple products and our fervent belief that we know more than you do.

Q: I saw that Apple revamped its Hot Deals page and I was noticing that there are some really hot deals on that page.
A: Uh… yeah.
Q: I’m thinking I’m going to get a 17-inch iMac and one of the MacBooks. I also might get a 20-inch iMac. And MacBook Pro. And maybe a PowerBook.
A: That sounds like kind of a lot.
Q: I don’t think 47 is a lot.
A: 47? You have a problem.
Q: No I don’t. I can quit buying Macs any time I want.
A: You’re a Macaholic.
Q: No I’m not!
A: Yes you are.
Q: No!
A: You’re only fooling yourself.
Q: I… I…
A: Come on. Let it out.
Q: My mother didn’t breast feed me! I buy Macs to fill the void! Waaaah!
A: Tsk. Weird. It always gets back to breast feeding. All the big Mac buyers have breast feeding issues.

Q: I just heard that previous call and I’m calling to complain.
A: Oh. Too creepy?
Q: No! That was Todd! I’m Todd’s mother! And I just want everyone to know that I did breast feed him!
A: Uh…
Q: I breast fed the hell out of him! And this is the thanks I get?!
A: Well, uh, he…
Q: For years I’ve given and given and given for nothing! I gave up all my hopes and dreams!
A: Oh. That’s too…
Q: So, excuse me if I sneak out of the house and buy myself a couple of Macs every week to make me feel like a whole woman again!
A: Ah… huh.
Q: What’s that supposed to mean?! You think my son is a Macaholic because I am?!
A: I’m… going to hang up now.
Q: Oooh, sure[click]

Q: Hi.
A: Oh. Hi.
Q: I’m the previous caller’s husband. And the father of the first caller.
A: Oh.
Q: Yeah.
A: OK.
Q: So… it’s probably not surprising that I have a couple-of-Macs-a-day habit.
A: Not so much.
Q: Mmm. Yeah.
A: Phew.
Q: I’m also an alcoholic.
A: Oh. Of course you are.