Every Friday, the staff at Crazy Apple Rumors Site answers common help questions based on our vast experience with Apple products and our fervent belief that we know more than you do.
Q: I have a Performa that I’m thinking of giving to a kid in the neighborhood who doesn’t have a computer. I was wondering if there’s a good site somewhere to download some old games that he could run on OS 9.
A: What?! Who cares?! Don’t you know the iPhone’s coming next week?! iPhone! Yay, iPhone!
Q: So… is that a “no”?
A: Uh…
Q: …
A: iPhone! Yay!
Q: [sigh]
Q: I’ve been trying to set up an older Titanium PowerBook as a media server connected to my HDTV – kind of like an Apple TV – but when I connect it using the S-Video cable all I get is black and white. What gives?
A: Oh, my god, have you seen this iPhone tour?! Is that not the bossest thing you’ve ever seen?!
Q: Yes, it’s very nice. But, see, if I can’t watch my movies in color it’s not really…
A: Oh, holy crap, you just swipe to delete an email! Oh, my god! Oh, my god! OH, MY FRICKING GOD!!!
Q: …
A: Wow!
Q: Are you OK?
A: No! I don’t think so! I’ve got the iPhone fever bad! And… I think I’m having some kind of an pulmonary episode.
Q: Should I call someone?
A: Please.
Q: Um…
A: …
Q: Uh…
A: …
Q: Oh, just go ahead.
A: Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha! iPhone! iPhone, iPhone, iPhoooooooooooooone!
Q: I will be so happy when this is over.
A: Ahhhhh! Wheeeeeeee!!! Heh-heh.
Q: …
A: iPhone!