22 Jun 07Friday Feature: Crazy Apple Help Desk.

Every Friday, the staff at Crazy Apple Rumors Site answers common help questions based on our vast experience with Apple products and our fervent belief that we know more than you do.

Q: I have a Performa that I’m thinking of giving to a kid in the neighborhood who doesn’t have a computer. I was wondering if there’s a good site somewhere to download some old games that he could run on OS 9.
A: What?! Who cares?! Don’t you know the iPhone’s coming next week?! iPhone! Yay, iPhone!
Q: So… is that a “no”?
A: Uh…
Q: …
A: iPhone! Yay!
Q: [sigh]

Q: I’ve been trying to set up an older Titanium PowerBook as a media server connected to my HDTV – kind of like an Apple TV – but when I connect it using the S-Video cable all I get is black and white. What gives?
A: Oh, my god, have you seen this iPhone tour?! Is that not the bossest thing you’ve ever seen?!
Q: Yes, it’s very nice. But, see, if I can’t watch my movies in color it’s not really…
A: Oh, holy crap, you just swipe to delete an email! Oh, my god! Oh, my god! OH, MY FRICKING GOD!!!
Q: …
A: Wow!
Q: Are you OK?
A: No! I don’t think so! I’ve got the iPhone fever bad! And… I think I’m having some kind of an pulmonary episode.
Q: Should I call someone?
A: Please.

Q: Um…
A: …
Q: Uh…
A: …
Q: Oh, just go ahead.
A: Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha! iPhone! iPhone, iPhone, iPhoooooooooooooone!
Q: I will be so happy when this is over.
A: Ahhhhh! Wheeeeeeee!!! Heh-heh.
Q: …
A: iPhone!

No Responses to “Friday Feature: Crazy Apple Help Desk.”

  1. Moof says:

    I am holding out for iPony!

  2. Moof says:

    Or second! Numero Dos! My week is complete.

  3. Carl says:

    iPhoneth post.

  4. Biff Whammy says:

    iPhone, youPhone, weallPhone for iPhone.

  5. Devon Shaw says:


  6. Huh? says:

    iPhone #6!

  7. Lord Coronary says:

    What about iWish for iPhone?

  8. redeyebase says:

    well, top 10 anyway. early tonight, eh? tried to fool us, eh? well, crafty dude… so glad you are here.

  9. Vermilion says:

    If this were an iPhone, I’d be inputting text into an iPhone.

  10. Ace Deuce says:

    Let’s say I get an iPhone–then whom will I call? Who will call me? Will I suddenly become Somebody Worth Talking To?

    I doubt it.

  11. Carbonfish says:


  12. Nxxx says:

    What’s an iPhone?
    BTWA really helpful Help Desk at last.

  13. buthidae says:

    Lucky 13!

    iPhone backwards is enohPi. Will this significantly affect world oil prices, or are they due for a further self-correction anyway?

  14. shawk says:

    You know that Microsoft is coming out with the Zhune [pronounced phone].
    Hundreds of people from Nigeria will call you. Endlessly.

  15. Huh? says:

    Wow. This is my first post this evening, and I find I posted at #6 already…
    Del, could I borrow some of your ninja kittens to take care of this, please?

  16. OMGHAX says:


  17. scared monster, better known as Le Chef De La Cuisine, says:

    Are friends to call delivered with the iPhone ?
    Sinon, I can’t see any use.
    Delete mails…I go so few friends I read every line of the Rolex & Viagra offers.
    Sometimes I even answer, you never know if there’s someone behind the Bot.

  18. monkeys says:


  19. Not Paul says:

    That’s it. I’m buying an iPhone. Obviously.

  20. Sitsi says:


  21. OMGHAX says:

    Aw man, iPwned these two noobs the other night in Halo 2. It was righteous.

  22. Streetrabbit says:

    I knitted an iPhone. I left a little bit of wool hanging loose for an antennae.

    That should work? Yes?

    The Australian Merino makes a lovely phone.

  23. Bereave me says:

    iPhoney is here!!!

  24. Doc Wolfram says:

    iPhone fever? Is there something you can take for that, John? I really missed the Help Desk this week.

    What?? You mean it was there? I need to get iPhone fever to be able to see it?

    Count me out. I want one too, but I have the latent form of the virus. I won’t adopt it until they get to iPhone.2!

  25. Joe #2 says:

    I will now say it.

    What’s that?

  26. Del says:

    Huh? The ninja kitteh be on route.

    Be sure to have payment (i.e. fish) ready when they arrive.

  27. Huh? says:

    Do they have a preference?(fish)

  28. Del says:

    Tuna and Salmon are among their favorites. Just get a large sashimi plate from a good japanese restaurant and you should be ok.

  29. I have been visiting this site a lot lately, so i thought it is a good idea to show my appreciation with a comment.

    Jim Mirkalami

  30. TeraShukar says:

    hi, wondering if there is something similar here in apkistan, just found an iPhone4 review on here Mobile Phones Pakistan