Apple Announces Lolcats Strategy.

After weeks of outcry from customers and the press about the company’s apparent lack of action concerning a growing Internet phenomenon, Apple has finally announced its strategy for lolcats.

At a press event on the Cupertino campus, CEO Steve Jobs said that an upcoming revision to .Mac would enable users to automatically add lolcats text to any of their iPhoto images.

“I think this is going to be a really exciting feature for our customers,” Jobs said. “And I’d love to show it to you now.”

Taking a sip from a bottled water, Jobs sat down at a keyboard and monitor and brought up .Mac.

“We’ve got some standard, pre-built lolcats text you can see here in this pull-down menu. Let’s say I want to add ‘I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?’ to this picture. First, I select the picture… then I select ‘I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?’ from the list of pre-defined lolcats texts… and then it’s just one click.

Clicking a button, Jobs created an image of a clearly uncomfortable-looking iPod product marketing manager Stan Ng dressed up in a crude cat suit with “I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?” emblazoned on it in sans serif text.

“Boom. It’s that easy.”

Jobs also said that Apple’s lolcats technology would be added to the iPhone so users can add humorously truncated text to the pictures they take with the unit’s built-in 2 megapixel camera.

“And the great thing about that,” Jobs noted, “is that the iPhone’s on-screen keyboard is already so difficult to use that it’s highly likely to interpret your keystrokes in a hilariously misspelled fashion. So it makes rolling your own lolcats almost automatic.”

The iPhone implementation also includes a feature where users can, Madlibs-like, supply their own words to complete the commonly-used lolcats syntax “I’M IN UR [blank], [blanking] UR [blank].”

“This is light years ahead of what anyone else is doing with lolcats. And it’s only available on .Mac and the iPhone.”

Microsoft was expected to respond shortly by announcing its own strategy which will consist of a crayon that users can use to write lolcats text on the images that appear on their screens.

39 thoughts on “Apple Announces Lolcats Strategy.”

  1. Huh Apple, where is your Smurfs Strategy? Like “I’m your smurf smurfing ur smurf”?

  2. What, no lolponies compatibility? Well it looks I might be reconsidering a device purchase if that’s the case.

    Hrumph!

    Oh yeah, eight or NINE.

  3. I’M IN UR INTERWEB PSTNG UR PAGE!!!!!

    Well, that wasn’t so hard…
    I can see how the integration into iPhoto will make it easier, hough.

  4. [pronoun] really [verb] this [adjective] [noun]. Are you [adverb] [adjective]?

    [verb] me when [pronoun] [adverb][verb].

  5. Moltz, it’s disturbing that you even know what lolcats are.

    (And thanks for sharing, by the way. (NOT!) I was blissfully unaware of this phenomenon (plague?) until today.)

  6. Aww i is being moderated. u no get to see cute kitty pic. i is invisible Del 🙁

    plz fix?

    okthnxbai

  7. Thanks for the mention CARS Staff, but I’m actually very selective about who I let [blank] my [blank].

    I like cats, but not in that way. We should just stay friends, really. I don’t want to ruin what we have.

  8. Scary but true fact: Before Microsoft invented crayons last week, Balmer scratched “I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?” on his forehead with a shrimp fork.

    Then Microsoft tried adding a LOLCats mode to Microsoft Surface but it kept making really rude comments when someone set a Zune on it. I mean like really inappropriate.

    Yes, LOLCats may be an internet meme that is WAAAAY past its prime, but if Apple does it, it will automatically be cool and better than it ever was. RLY LOL

  9. Well
    it seems definitive.
    I do not like comic things.

  10. We introduce the most innovative crayons for writing on your screen. We have been working on these since before Steve Jobs asked us for floating point math! That proves WE’RE the true innovator in crayon-computer technology! And we are offering initially a choice of coloured crayons in three colors.

    White, black and what’s really got me excited, BROWN!

    BROWN! ROWN!ROWN!ROWN!
    BROWN! ROWN!ROWN!ROWN!
    BROWN! ROWN!ROWN!ROWN!
    BROWN! ROWN!ROWN!ROWN!

    BROWN! ROWN!ROWN!ROWN!
    BROWN! ROWN!ROWN!ROWN!
    BROWN! ROWN!ROWN!ROWN!
    BROWN! ROWN!ROWN!ROWN!

    BROWN! ROWN!ROWN!ROWN!
    BROWN! ROWN!ROWN!ROWN!
    BROWN! ROWN!ROWN!ROWN!
    BROWN! ROWN!ROWN!ROWN!

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