Our iPhone coverage continues as Crazy Apple Rumors Site runs down some of the loose rumors floating around out there about a little phone we like to call…
Because that’s its name.
Since all that trademark unpleasantness got settled.
MYTH OR FACT? – On Friday, Apple Stores and AT&T stores will close at 4:30 and then re-open at 6:00 for the launch.
FACT. This is to allow them time to cover all other items in the stores with plastic to protect them from the impending nerdgasm.
MYTH OR FACT? – The iPhone is not made of metal or glass but of various meats.
MYTH. This is a common misconception but it’s actually Apple CFO Peter Oppenheimer who is made of meat.
MYTH OR FACT? – The iPhone is neither animal, vegetable or mineral. It is an entirely new form of entity which alchemists are calling “Gwanghoodoodle”.
FACT. That’s fairly self-explanatory.
MYTH OR FACT? – The battery supports up to 8 hours of talk time.
FACT. But it’s kind of academic as you don’t have anyone who can stand to talk to you that long.
MYTH OR FACT? – The iPhone includes alien technology that will allow Apple to issue downloadable hardware updates, for example later changing the 3.5-inch display to 4.0 inches.
MYTH. This is preposterous. Everyone knows that iPhone hardware updates will be carried out by little elves that will sneak into your pants pocket with little screwdrivers.
Be careful sitting down!
MYTH OR FACT? – Male iPhone owners will experience longer, harder erections.
FACT. Actually many of them already are, days before its release.
MYTH OR FACT? – The iPhone will fix dysfunctional relationships, heal your emotional pain and otherwise cure your pathetic, sorry life.
It’s right there in the technical specifications.
I don’t have the link.
It’s somewhere down at the bottom.