09 Jul 07iPhone News Good News For Mac Fans.

In an encouraging sign that iPhone news may finally be petering out, the biggest piece of news today surrounding Apple’s new cell phone was that the company announced that it would be releasing a new iPhone bag.

Apple CEO Steve Jobs announced iPhoneBag 2.0, a follow-up to the signature iPhone launch bag.

“We heard you,” Jobs said. “We know how much you liked the bag in which the iPhone came in and, bam, we’ve got a new bag, due out by late July.”

The new bag will include upgraded handle with a greater thread count in the all-cotton handles, higher-resolution printing, a glossier varnish overprinting, and sturdier paper.

“The iPhoneBag 2.0 will last you through the two-year contract required to obtain the bag,” Jobs said.

“Finally some iPhone news that I really couldn’t care less about,” said Macworld senior editor Chris Breen.

“I’ll tell you, I actually threw my bag out. I really did. Without even thinking about it.”

When pushed, Breen admitted that he threw out the bag for the second iPhone he purchased. The first he’s keeping in a pristine “mint in the bag” condition on a shelf in his office.

“This is going to be a collector’s item some day,” Breen said, somewhat defensively.

“Actually, you know what? It already is.”

But the Mac community universally welcomed the news that iPhone news just isn’t news anymore.

“OK!” exclaimed an exasperated Daniel Jalkut of Red Sweater Software. “Let’s all just go back to talking about the Macintosh because everyone already has an iPhone now. So, it’s not news!

“Eeyup. Everyone but me, that is.

“Soo, let’s just talk about the Mac. You all remember the Mac, right?”

Apple declined to comment for this story but got a blank look on its face when asked about the Mac.

No Responses to “iPhone News Good News For Mac Fans.”

  1. Ace Deuce says:

    Damn, I didn’t want to be first!

  2. Ace Deuce says:

    If the iPhone is the new Mac, what is the new iPhone?

  3. Jon says:

    Single digit!

  4. Ace Deuce says:

    And would an iPhone killer qualify as an iPod killer and a Mac killer as well?

  5. Ace Deuce says:

    Just heard that the Touristes de France that didn’t test positive for urine have now tested positive for sweat. They need a fresh untainted set of cyclists. I’d go but my trick knee is booked on the Ed Sullivan Show.

  6. Ace Deuce says:

    Wake up, Nxxx! I need someone to help with the comment stacking.

  7. Dishwasher Safe says:

    No matter how you slice it, it’d be a killer device…

    What about the utilitarian Ginsu? Today’s Ginsu cuts through metal like a hot knife through butter. You could use it to kill all sorts of things, and make a sandwich too!

  8. eight says:

    88888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888
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  9. nine says:

    99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
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    99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

  10. Huh? says:

    I thought this place was gonna be closed tonight…
    Hmm…

    Oh well.

  11. OMGHAX says:

    I saw it, it’s alive, it’s huge!

  12. Nxxx says:

    Bloody Hell. Can’t even have a quiet kip without Ace bashing the bloody door down. And for what?
    Mac? iPhone? Bag? All words I don’t recognise.

  13. Loose Leaf says:

    Darn. I was really hoping for a iSock for an iPhone. Or would the iPhone need an iSweater? Now if I just knew how to knit.

  14. K. D. Cline says:

    I think an iSnood would be the most appropriate covering.

    Stylish too.

  15. fatbo says:

    iPWNBag!

  16. Miiphone says:

    iBikini! See, and you know Steve Jobs likes those more than other men because of all of the i’s in the word! Steve Jobs loves i’s!

  17. Fake Paul says:

    What’s a “Mac”?

  18. Rip Ragged says:

    When the shark bites, with his teeth babe, scarlet billows start to spread

    Fancy gloves, thought, has ol’ Mac Heath babe. So there’s never a trace of red.

    That Mac?

  19. shawk says:

    I think Mac makes hamburgers.

  20. Nxxx says:

    You could be right shawk but aren’t hamburgers made of meat.

  21. scared monster, better known as Le Chef De La Cuisine, says:

    I’m not so sure I would call that : meat. It’s 50% fat and 50% flour and 10% cigarettes butts and 10% undetermined, but assumed to comme from animal livings.
    Even the pickles look healthier.

    to comme back on subject (although I’m not so sure I would call that a subject)
    Did you see the YouTube vids of people trying to smash their iPhoneBags2.0 on the wall, and see it doesn’t spill up and look disappointed ? And the one with the geek cutting it through with a knife ?

  22. Anomynous says:

    Coming soon for iPhone: the iThneed.

    Dr. Seuss would be proud.

  23. redeyebase says:

    Just so I’m counted for this post, I’ll post … wouldn’t want to be forgotten just because I didn’t post. ya know what i mean…

  24. Zo says:

    I believe the word you were looking for is Boom.

    (Bam WTF does he know abt. Mac.)

  25. fatbo says:

    boom goes the dynamite!

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