AT 0900 HOURS THIS MORNING, THE FOLLOWING TRANSMISSION WAS RECEIVED FROM CRAZY APPLE RUMORS SITE EDITOR-IN-CHIEF JOHN MOLTZ. THE TRANSMISSION WAS INCOMPLETE – HAVING CLEARLY BEEN SENT IN HASTE AND IN THE DIREST OF CIRCUMSTANCES. IT IS BOTH DISTURBING AND INSPIRING, AND IS PRESENTED HERE IN ITS ENTIRETY IN THE HOPES THAT READERS MAY DERIVE THEIR OWN INSIGHTS INTO THE CYBER APOCALYPSE.
WE ASK THAT YOU POST YOUR THOUGHTS AND INTERPRETATIONS IN THE COMMENTS.
… this thing on?
Stopped at -anson, MO yesterday to stock up on supplies. Did not bring [enough?] plastic bags. … would think … talking dog would be able to curb himself, but nooooo…
Took us h[ours], but finally scored more mescaline from … 85 … widow. Just in time, too, as Crabb’s image was fading.
He is a fount of knowledge. At once urbane, detailed and highly technical, he is also direct.
When we asked where to find the Entity, he sm…ed me in the middle of the [forehead?] and said “Waffles, young man! Waffles!”
But … am a fool. Waffles! Of course! I first … the Entity in a Waffle House. Certainly it is near waffles that he will reappear. He is drawn to them … moth to light.
Isn’t everyone? … you … wouldn’t … near waffles? Personally … smeared in syrup. That’s the way I roll.
We shall stick to the open road but … only at night to throw off the metal nightmares that … our trail. … night vision … poor.
… seeking out the great waffle establishments of this fair nation which are [generally? mostly?] open 24-hours-a-day anyway.
THERE IS THEN A LONG, GARBLED PASSAGE OUT OF WHICH THE ONLY WORDS THAT CAN BE MADE OUT ARE “SQUID”, “OCTOPUS” AND… “CRAB”. ONE CAN ONLY IMAGINE THE METAPHYSICAL IMPLICATIONS THAT MIGHT BE BROUGHT TO LIGHT IF ONLY IT COULD BE DECIPHERED.
IT’S ALSO JUST POSSIBLE THEY STOPPED AT A RED LOBSTER OR SOMETHING.
THE PASSAGE CONCLUDES WITH THIS LINK AND IS FOLLOWED BY CLEARER TEXT.
I asked Don about Apple.
How could … that made computers … role in staving off the mechanical beasts … Cyber Apocalypse?
Don stared at me intently. Maybe … the mescaline, but his eyes swirled green, yellow, orange, red, purple, blue. Green, yellow, orange, red, purple, blue.
“Apple … one company that truly makes technology that works for us. Not the other way around.
“When the time comes …
“… lasers …
“… sexbots …
“… Multitouch …
“… user-friendly interface …
“… stem the flood of cold, heartless technological …
“… final battle … One Infinite Loop.”
Green. Yellow. Orange.
Red. Purple. Blue.
Green. Yellow. Orange.
Red. Purple. Blue…
Sent from my iPhone!
LET US HAVE A MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR OUR INTREPID TRAVELERS.
TONIGHT, DRAW YOUR LOVED ONES CLOSE AND PRAY TO WHATEVER GODS YOU MAY WORSHIP, FOR NONE OF US KNOW WHAT PERILS LIE AHEAD IN THESE TROUBLED TIMES.
GODSPEED TO JOHN AND HOWARD, WHEREVER THEY ARE.
GOOD NIGHT AND GOOD LUCK.