19 Jul 07Mac Market Share Grows. Platform Doomed.

While the iPhone has garnered the lion’s share of the attention lately, the Mac has quietly edged up its market share, as sales were up 26% in the second quarter compared to the industry’s 7%.

While this may seem to be good news for the Mac and Apple, several industry experts said just the opposite was true.

Rob Enderle of the esteemed Just Me And The Mrs. Group said “By my estimation, this entire increase is from Apple zealots buying up all the Macs they can in a desperate attempt to rescue the platform. This will fade as they run out of money. Clearly the Mac is in its last throes.

“Oh, and I don’t know why I feel compelled to tell you this, but I ate a lot of paint chips as a child.”

Enderle’s analysis was echoed by John C. “I probably got where I am today because people mistakenly think I invented the keyboard” Dvorak.

“I was talking with a friend of mine,” Dvorak said, “and he accidentally walked into a Mac user group meeting and heard the Mac zealots planning to steal our precious bodily fluids so they could use them to anoint Steve Jobs as their one true god.

“And you Mac zealots can’t complain about me saying this because it’s not me saying it, it’s my friend.

“Who I made up.”

Meanwhile George Ou remained strangely quiet, not looking up from his hobby of performing taxidermy on neighborhood cats. And, for his part, Paul Thurrott merely wanted to know where Enderle had gotten the paint chips because he was feeling a bit peckish.

No Responses to “Mac Market Share Grows. Platform Doomed.”

  1. UhhhDude says:

    Faust! First!

  2. UhhhDude says:

    Oh, let’s just get it over with now.


  3. Carbonfish says:

    Do I get to be three?

  4. Nxxx says:

    Yes, but what about John’s Holy Quest?

  5. Carbonfish says:

    John, Howard put you up to the taxidermy cat thing, right?

  6. NKOTB Fanatic says:

    Lucky 6 (or 7, that’s also lucky)!
    When will you Mac geeks face the music? Your beloved closed-system is in its last throes and has been for 20 years! It’s only a matter of decades! If only did Apple did the right thing like IBM and allowed everybody to make Mac clones.

  7. NKOTB Fanatic says:

    BTW, to anoint a true god, you must use the bodily fluids of virgins. May I suggestbthe next LUG meeting?

  8. His Steveness says:

    You won’t find a pony at LUG meetings!

  9. Ace Deuce says:

    Kudos. I think that’s the most character assassination in one CARS article so far. But the truth is, Apple is doomed. The Sun will eventually go nova and swallow the Earth, and if Apple is still confined to the planet, it’s history. End of story.

  10. jurgen says:

    Sun will make a Nova? Naaaah. Surely they’ve learnt from Chevrolet’s lesson.

  11. NKOTB Fanatic says:

    Oh, snap! I just got served!

  12. scared monster, better known as Le Chef De La Cuisine, says:

    Doomed ?
    Oh !

    Champagne !

  13. Me group says:

    That doesn’t read like parody, except for George Ou.

  14. Huh? says:

    I think I may have finally learned.
    After everything getting knocked off the right side of my desk by UhhhDude’s posts, I’m just leaving it empty now.
    Kinda looks lopsided, but hey, it works.

    Now, about that wall…

  15. Not Paul says:

    It turned out to be cheap latex paint. The bastard tricked me again.

  16. Loose Leaf says:

    That does it. I’m trading all my Macs in for an AS/400 system.

  17. Lurker says:

    Huh?, you should get a bigger monitor. UhhhDude’s posts fit nicely within my 24.1 inch LCD monitor with room to spare. He does mess up my desktop icons though.

    Macs just *had* to have the icons on the rights side of the screen instead of the left…

  18. blank says:

    There’s a real missed opportunity here. CARS operatives have access to the shade of Don Crabb! How about some commentary from someone whose opinion of the state of the Mac was (is?) more reliable than all those other goobers combined?

    Unless the supply of psychedelics has run out.

  19. Big LUG says:

    Hey, just shut up about the virgin thing!

    It’s called celibacy, and it’s a choice!