In a conference call with analysts today, Apple announced results from another banner quarter in which it shipped a record number of Macs as well as posting strong sales for the iPod and the newly launched iPhone.
CFO Peter Oppenheimer and COO Tim Cook also discussed the following on the call.
- The Apple Tablet is coming along nicely and its flash-based memory is… oh, crap, are we on now?!
- The company sold 270,000 iPhones in the second quarter, 4 of which AT&T was able to activate.
- The conference call was punctuated by the sound of squealing Apple executives throwing wads of cash at each other.
- Analysts complained about a droning noise on the line, but Oppenheimer explained that it was just the sound of Stan Sigman still delivering his Macworld speech.
- Asked repeatedly to explain the relationship between Apple’s after-tax price/earnings ratio and its cash and cash equivalents balance and how accounting changes in regards to how subscription revenue would be recognized in subsequent quarters would affect the company’s EBITDA (earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation and amortization), Oppenheimer had to admit he had no idea what the fuck analysts were talking about.
- The company sold 9.8 million iPods but did admit that 7 million of those were sold to 28 individuals who have iPod addiction problems.
- Toward the end of the call, Cook informed everyone that Clarus the dogcow had been hit by a car late last week and had to be put down.
After the call, Apple declined to comment.