Apple’s stock fell sharply today when AT&T announced that in the last two days of the second quarter, the first two days of iPhone sales, it had activated far fewer iPhones than expected.
While analysts had expected that around 200,000, AT&T reported only 146,000 iPhones had been activated.
This was not surprising to regular Apple customers, however, who were quickly able to explain away the discrepancy.
“Clearly this delay in activation is simply due to iPhone fondling,” said Apple Phone Show host Scott Bourne.
According to Bourne and several other experts reporters spoke with, the purchase of an Apple product is almost always followed by a period lasting hours, sometimes days, when the customer sits and simply caresses it.
“It’s how we get to know an Apple product,” said the Chicago Sun-Times’ Andy Ihnatko. “Me, I take the phone off the hook, slip into something a little more comfortable and put on a little Barry White.”
Ihnatko said he didn’t personally get around to actually activating his iPhone until five days later.
“It was a particularly succulent morsel,” he noted.
A poll of 200 hundred iPhone buyers indicated that product groping may indeed be to blame as slow jazz could be heard playing in the background of 75% of those reached.