In a report published on TidBITS yesterday, respected journalist and child psychologist Glenn Fleishman indicated that sources had told him that Apple is close to announcing some kind of iPhone SDK.
Sadly, however, Fleishman is wrong.
Crazy Apple Rumors Site sources confirmed that Apple has no plans to announce an iPhone SDK in the near future. Fleishman’s sources are likely confusing “iPhone SDK” for one of the following upcoming announcements from Apple.
iPhone PDA – At a special Apple event in November, Steve Jobs will make out with an iPhone. I mean, well, more than he has at other public events. There will be tongue this time.
iPhone STP – The performance motor oil for iPhones that run hotter. Coming Sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY!
iPhone STD – This software “enhancement” gives you a social disease if you add any third party hacks. Steve Jobs will announce “It’s better than merely bricking! If you install any hacks, your penis will fall off!”
iPhone WWJD – Doesn’t help you make phone calls but makes you feel guilty about pretty much everything.
iPhone AV — Includes a special API which pulls all available data on whether or not Abe Vigoda is alive or dead.
iPhone MSFT – Can’t play music. Wireless technology used to fry burritos. Demo songs play in full, but songs you purchase play for just 30 seconds. Battery life is 5 minutes. The social turns out to be a banquet room in a Marriott in South Bend, Indiana, with pasty-faced men in ill-fitting suits. The exit doors are locked. You realize that you’re dead and in hell.
Apple declined to comment for this story other than to confirm that all the above was true.