Every Friday, the staff at Crazy Apple Rumors Site answers common help questions based on our vast experience with Apple products and our fervent belief that we know more than you do.
[IMPORTANT UPDATE: Shum Stra iz in our interwebs recordin’ our Help Desks and has the audio of the first question. Why go to all the trouble of reading it when you can just give it a listen (936k MP3)?]
Q: Hey! Have you heard of the latest dance craze to hit the techno-streets?!
A: Um… no.
Q: Yes! Dance, dance, to the throbbing beat of the DVORAK!
Q: The DVORAK!
A: I don’t think…
Q: It goes a little like this!
O o o o — it’s John Dvorrrrrak!
He’s the latest…
O O O O — he’s a crazy ass
He’s the insanest…
Writing through the night with hair lit up bright, he’s Dvorrrrrak.
And then there’s a dance.
A: Oookay. Uh, do you have a question?
Q: I, uh, just wanted to know if you had heard of the Dvorak.
A: I had not.
Q: OK, then.
Q: Oh, man, don’t let that turkey give you that jive about the Dvorak!
A: Um, OK.
Q: Naw! All the real hep cats are doin’ the Enderle!
A: Of course they are.
Q: It goes like this!
You put your bad opinion in, you take your money shot out,
You put your bad opinion in, and you shake it all about
You do the Apple joke-y and you turn it all around,
That’s what the Enderle’s all about
And, um, the dance is pretty much like the Hokey Pokey. Actually, it’s exactly like that.
A: Seems kind of obvious.
Q: That’s right! Just like Rob Enderle!
A: Hmm. Well, you make a good point there.
Q: Dvorak? Enderle? I dunno. Personally, I prefer to do the Steve Jobs.
A: Oh. How does that one go?
Q: I sit and still my thoughts until they are as a clear, untouched mountain lake. As I achieve total calm, I let the spirit of the Buddha wash over me. And then I am one.
A: Uh, wow. And what music do you do that to?
Q: Um… well, actually, I do it to LL Cool J’s “Big Ole Butt”.
A: Uh… huh.
Q: But, um, you could do it to anything really. The song doesn’t have to be butt related.
A: Oh. That’s good to know.