08 Jan 08Macworld Canceled.

This is just coming off the wire and has forced us to shelve a detailed exposé on Chris Breen’s hair, but the staff Crazy Apple Rumors Site wanted to get it out as soon as possible so everyone would know that…


That’s right. Canceled. We know it’s disappointing but…

There it is.

Let’s all try to be grownups about it.

The reason, according to Apple, is that the announcement of the new Mac Pro and the new Xserve was a mistake.

“Yeah, Larry did that,” said an apologetic chief operating officer Tim Cook. “I told him about fifty times that it was next Tuesday but Larry is, well, Larry. Juice Box Larry we call him.

“Anyway, the Mac Pro and the Xserve are all we had, so… no Macworld. Sorry!”

But Apple is not, apparently, the only reason Macworld has been canceled. A quick check of recent press releases reveals the following:

  • San Francisco hookers announced they were raising their hourly rates for the whole week because “the damn Mac geeks just want to talk and won’t get down to brass tacks”.
  • The highly popular “Shower with Adam Engst at the Mosser” event has been canceled as Adam has come down with a bad case of athlete’s foot. Our best wishes to Adam for a speedy recovery.
  • Someone saw Rob Enderle in the vicinity of the Moscone Center.

Cook said that Steve Jobs would make it up to us by taking us all out for ice cream later in the year.

No Responses to “Macworld Canceled.”

  1. Anonymous says:

    So, to summarize, Rob Enderle has athlete’s foot and is smart as a brass hook?

  2. Coolhandluke says:

    second, twice in a row, thats awesome

  3. Nxxx says:


  4. digitalcowboy says:

    Ice cream? With Steve? That’s so waay better than MacWorld anyway!

  5. masonk says:


    And hey, ice cream. Works for me.

  6. Pony RD says:

    ice cream… ok.

    ice cream and ponies… now we’re talkin’

    Does make me wonder – f MWSF were happening and stuff was getting released a week out. Lights out!!!

  7. Rip Ragged says:

    Damn you, Rob Enderle.

    Dang. Now that MacWorld is off, can I have next week for personal projects?

    I think I have the configuration figured out to cold-filter homebrew using unscented two-ply toilet paper without any loss of carbonation.

    I’m hoping for my first top ten in months.

  8. Yay, ice cream! I’ll have 8 or 9 scoops, please.

  9. Ace Deuce says:

    Yeah, ice cream… until Jobs cancels THAT!

    Broken promises. Ponies. Wireless pudding. I can no longer trust their lies.

  10. J0n says:

    Ten, and I’ll take some ice cream, too!

  11. CB says:

    Oh missed it. 11-ish.

  12. Lee says:

    and anonymous, it’s brass tacks, not brass hook. Sheesh!

  13. Anonymous says:

    Sorry Lee, but it really was meant to be a brass hook(er). Smart as a brass tack? That is completely insane. No ice cream for you!

  14. Huh? says:

    Do we get sprinkles on the ice cream?
    Cuz if there are no sprinkles, it won’t really be worth it.

  15. Streetrabbit says:

    He can shove his ice cream. I want my Apple brand hot pants and I want them NOW!

  16. FilmPhotoWeb says:

    But what happened to the iPhone that slid into the iBook that slid into the iMac that slid into the iSuitcase that slid into the iPingPongTable that slid up the southern end of the northbound iHorse?

    Darn, I wanted one of those. I really believed that rumor. I mean, they had little drawings and everything. I need an iIceCreamCone.


  17. Moof says:

    It’s the friggin robots. It’s GOT to be the friggin robots. I’d bet Moltz’s left nut that is the real real reason. Steve’s ice cream …. mmmmm, ice cream …. is filled with tiny nanobots poised ready to take over the world and take advantage of the lowered hourly rates. Scheming fother muckers are laying low pretending everything is Ok.

    Anybody else notice the quality of Jon’s writing has improved since Jennifer Friggin Connely / entity came on scene?

  18. The Entity says:

    That’s “The Entity” to you, Moof. Don’t try to pose like you know me ‘n’ stuf.

  19. Moof says:

    My apologies, “The Entity”. No offense was intended. If it wasn’t in the middle of the night when I was posting, I would have remembered that. Now, if I COULD get to know you … in the biblical way, that would be cool.

  20. Psyko says:

    I’m not buying it Moltz. You’re just trying to convince us it’s canceled so that you don’t have to give us coverage of it.


  21. TuCats says:

    Frickin’ writer’s strike is screwing up everything. First no Golden Globes, and now this. Sheesh. Toss the writers a nickle and let’s get on with it, fercrissakes.

    Also, as the French would say: Twenty and FIRST!

  22. scared monster, also known as Living Proof Of Something, Surely, says:

    Vingt-deux !

    Yeah, those mac users writers are all commies.

  23. Steve G. says:

    I mean, I like ice cream and all (who doesn’t?), but could his Steveness instead deliver on the things we’ve already been promised? Like Pudding over IP? And where’s my frickin’ sexbot?!?

  24. D0c Wolfram says:

    One word: JFC

    Wait, that’s three words.


  25. David says:

    I’ve got the 8 way monster on order. I don’t need Macworld. 🙂

  26. kingthedestroyer says:

    Wow… icecream… uh… what about those who are lactose intolerant….

  27. Tom says:

    For the lactose intolerant Steve has created a batch of vodka sorbet…

    Two drink, er, I mean, two sorbet limit.

  28. An anonymous insider says:

    Real reason Macworld is cancled.

    Steve hasn’t stopped laughing since Bill’s speach at the CES….

    Macworld will be rescheduled once Steve gets up off the floor.

  29. Andre says:

    Has Macworld really been canceld? or is this just BS? They better not have id be rip Sh*t

  30. Anonymous says:

    Good one!

  31. My Dinner with You says:

    “… instead of living under the sun and the moon and the sky and the stars, we’re living in a fantasy world of our own making.” *

    It’s, as you say, just BS, Andre. This is a comedy site, where we’re living… well, you get the idea.

    It’s a JOKE, son! — Foghorn Leghorn

    * – Quote from the movie “My Dinner with Andre.” ( http://imdb.com/title/tt0082783/ )

  32. shawk says:

    What hooker problem?
    Pros always lease their pros.
    It’s a Wet lease. Of course.

  33. blank says:

    Good! I was supposed to work the damn company booth for two days. I hate that crap!

    Oh, I guess the fast ones were going right over mah head. Got me again Foghorn. Keep pitchin’ ’em. Still hate working the show, though…

  34. Matt says:

    Good, I hate macworld anyway.

  35. Let's Protest says:

    Who’s with me?

    I’m gonna camp outside the Moscone Center until they bring Macworld back!

    Who’s ready to shout, “One More Thing!” with me?

    I’m not gonna leave till I get a SteveNote … a SteveNote and a pudding…

    a SteveNote, a pudding, an iCeCream, a vodka sorbet, a pony, and the Spanish Inquisition…

    Um, wait, that’s not right…

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