09 Jan 08New Patent Filing Highly Revealing.

The Apple community is abuzz with news of a fascinating patent application the company filed for a laptop docking station which includes some extremely interesting concept drawings.

Whether this concept will ever reach production or not, there is one thing these drawings make clear: Apple is hiring seizure-prone elderly shut-ins to draw its patent art.

While declining to speak about the patent itself, Apple did admit that it was part of a California state program that finds employment for seniors.

“This is a fabulous program and we’re proud to be a part of it,” said CEO Steve Jobs, who spoke to us by phone because of the robot blockade of One Infinite Loop.

“The single biggest benefit to us is that no one believes a word the elderly say,” Jobs said.

“Whether it’s ‘I fought the Kaiser, you know!’ or ‘Many a gentleman caller I had in my day!’ or ‘Apple’s working on an ultra-light laptop that docks into an iMac!’, their care-givers are just going to nod, roll their eyes and keep trying to shove Jell-O into their mouths.”

Jobs went on to note that when you add in the fact that their children never come to visit them and they’ll soon be dead, Apple’s secrets have never been safer.

“The Egyptians used to blind those who saw their designs. This is the next best thing. Actually, it may be better.”

In unrelated news, the AARP initiated a lawsuit against Apple today.

It really is unrelated. They think the scroll wheel on the nano is too “dag burned” small.

No Responses to “New Patent Filing Highly Revealing.”

  1. Mr. Norrsson says:

    What? First? That’s unpossible!

  2. Magnanimous Wang says:

    1st!

  3. HikerCA says:

    I need to call up Lesa King and order up one of those puppies pronto!

  4. elfle says:

    I think the docking station should heat my frozen waffles, too, so I’d like to request a top-loading design. The heat is much more even that way.

  5. Allister says:

    Ha Ha
    4th (or 5th)

    I don’t even know what this game is about…

    Oh well.

  6. late poster says:

    Dang, all those hours spent reloading the CARS website trying to get first post and today I come in sixth…

    Why CARS, why did this one have to go up during the middle of my favorite Matlock episode… I only stopped refreshing the CARS homepage for 22 minutes and look what happens…

  7. Pony RD says:

    Egyptians didn’t have ponies either – Apple’s definitely on to something if they can escape the killer robots!

  8. Greenpeace says:

    We at Green peace laud this development — clearly Apple are committed to reducing the consumption of electricity in California by reverting to pencil and paper for patent illustrations.

  9. Carbonfish says:

    Number Nine (Wow, it’s been awhile since I’ve done that).

  10. Huh? says:

    Ooo…. squiggles.
    Shiny!

    Wonder if the final product will look like that too?

    Could whoever left the tuna sammich in the fridge please remove it.
    It’s getting kinda ripe…

  11. Carbonfish says:

    John, WTF is up with your page? Ever since the reconfig., or whatever the hell happened before the holidays, the text box has been all screwed up and too big and everything, and now your clock is an hour off.I know you wouldn’t move to Mountain Time, so what gives? Serious template torque.

    How about a little page maintenance man?

  12. confused says:

    Did someone say something about an Egyptian “my little pony” iWaffle maker?

  13. J0n says:

    Thirteen. Is there any ice cream left over from yesterday?

    (In the freezer, of course; if it’s been left out, that’s inedible.)

  14. Tom says:

    @Carbonfish, moving to mountain time is a clever ruse to throw off the killer robots.

    and the text box size makes it nearly impossible for the killer robots to post comments

  15. Tom says:

    @J0n, I think Huh? has detected some leftover Tuna ice cream, but in or out of the freezer, I question its edibility…

  16. Seventeen says:

    Going on 18

  17. Streetrabbit says:

    Of course the final products will have ladies in national dress painted on them. I want the teeny weeny one that goes on the very inside.

  18. scared monster, also known as Living Proof Of Something, Surely, says:

    Can we put something else in that slot ?
    I mean…
    like…
    Ah, no.
    Forget it.

    I say : Forget it.

    And top 19.

  19. confused says:

    What’s that about Apple replacing Intel processors with teeny weeny ladies in national dress?

  20. FilmPhotoWeb says:

    If you look closely at the drawing, you clearly see a slot for jello.

    33!!

  21. Lee says:

    I see the gang is all here tonight. Whoopee!

    2+2 = 44

  22. Ace Deuce says:

    I’m glad to see that Grandpa Simpson finally got a job.

  23. Nxxx says:

    Can Apple patent Art?

  24. Wha? What dad-burned patooie are you rattling on about, anyway? Blasted teenagers these days. Always talkin’ about Patton or sumthin’. Now, I knew General George Patton, annnd YOU sir! You are no Patton!

    Now give me my Jello, or I won’t tell you about that time I whupped the Kaiser!

    …Patton!…

  25. nonlinearG says:

    As a representative of “seizure-prone elderly shut-ins” this looks like a suit to me.

    Where is that phone number for Greg Gerrolous.

  26. Steve G. says:

    Re #24: Only if Art lets them.

    I think that it’s Apple’s patent attorneys who are “hiring seizure-prone elderly shut-ins to draw” their stuff. As a patent attorney myself (not one of Apple’s, BTW), we generally can’t draw worth shit. That’s why we pay others to do it for us; they can draw straight lines with uniform thickness, have letters and numbers all at least a certain size, etc. This would probably be funny if it weren’t true.

    Now if only I could figure out a way around that frickin’ robot blockade, since I didn’t get any ice cream yesterday.

  27. zacksback says:

    Jello is sooo 1950’s. Here at the home they’ve started serving
    blended lemurs in a chilled earwax sauce. The great thing is that
    stays good in the days between feedings. Life is good.

  28. notjustanyoldtimer says:

    You young retirees have it easy, creating patent art with paper and pencil.

    Back in my day, we had to create patent art on clay tablets using a stylus.

  29. oldesttimerIknow says:

    Bah,

    In my day, we chiseled our patent artwork into the living stone.

    I had to carry stone tablets on my back all the way to the patent office for filing.

    It took me seven days to walk from my office to the nearest patent office.

    You yougins have it sooooo easy.

    Now pass me some of those lemurs in earwax, Im’ ready for some good eats.

  30. won says:

    It really is too small, you know.

    Definitely more difficult to use.

  31. I dunno. My missus, she thinks it’s sized jes’ fine.

  32. Rip Ragged says:

    Man. The National Association for Anti-Defamation of Seizure Prone Elderly Shut-Ins is about impossible to say ten times really fast if you’ve spent the afternoon drinking tequila and Dos Equis. If they exist and remember about this tomorrow they’re going to be really pissed.

    Just sayin’.

  33. The Miner Mi Nes and the Assayer As says:

    I don’t see what good it’s gonna do if you shove your notebook into your desktop with the lid closed. All you’ll get to see is the pretty glowing Apple logo. In fact, the logo won’t even be glowing ’cause the lid will be shut. Now maybe that’s enough to keep them ol’ folks at the Home happy, but not me, boy.

    Of course, if it was a Tablet computer you were sliding ohhh soooo smoooothly into that slot — WELLLLL then! Heh, heh! NOW we’re TALKIN’!

    Uh, whoooops! Did I say the “T” word? Silly me! I meant to say Lablet… no… Labtel… er… Labtol… uh… Laptol… I mean… Laptop! Yeah! That’s the ticket! A Laptop! With the, uh, screen, uh, folded all the way back against the, uh… the other side of the keyboard! Of course! That makes MUCH more sense!

    Tablet computer! Huh! What was I thinking? As if Apple would ever make one of THOSE things! Psshhaw! Yeah, right!

  34. Benny says:

    What really disturbs me is that apparently there are 101 other parts to this thing that aren’t shown in this drawing!

    And what the HELL did they do with parts 103, 105, 107, 109, 111, and 113? Those were my favorite parts!

    Oh, my Gawd. OH, MY GAWD!

    They’re all even numbers… THEY’RE ALL EVEN NUMBERS! DON’T YOU SEE? THE ROBOTS HAVE TAKEN ALL THE ODD NUMBERS! WE’RE NEVER GOING TO HAVE ANY ODD-NUMBERED PARTS EVER, EVER AGAIN!

    NOOOOOOOO (gasp) OOOOOOOOO!

  35. John C. Randolph says:

    Fought the Kaiser? Big deal! Lots of people have problems with their HMOs.

    -jcr

  36. Chris Martin says:

    Hey!! I am thoroughly impressed with your knowledge of Patent Attorney. Your insights into this article about Patent Attorney was well worth the the time to read it. I thank you for posting such awsome information. Signed Chris Martin on this Day Saturday.

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