15 Jan 08Travel Day And More.

Monday was a travel day so not much to report, but the word on the street here near the Moscone Center is that the thing in the air might actually be Apple’s fleet of attack helicopters. Or, possibly, hunks of flying metal as Apple’s elite squad of lesbian ninjas destroy the robot menace that plagues us all.

For sources are now telling us that Apple has broken free of the robot blockade and, indeed, we can see flashes of light in the sky to the south indicating that Macworld 2008 will take place tomorrow, validating not only the travel plans of several thousand Apple enthusiasts but also many parking vouchers at the Moscone Center.

While the keynote tomorrow will be embargoed from WiFi access, we’ll bring you a semi-live blog in the semi-nude shortly thereafter.

Apple declined to comment for this brief story but said some shit is too cool even for killer robots to hold back.

How true.

No Responses to “Travel Day And More.”

  1. Ace Deuce says:

    Me too.

  2. Ace Deuce says:

    Can Thor score an additional backstage pass for you? That would be the bossest.

  3. Ace Deuce says:

    Am I the only one not standing in line at Macworld? Where is everybody?

  4. Ace Deuce says:

    I mean, it’s late, but not in Australia and Japan…

  5. YourMedic says:

    I’m here, but then I’m gone. Enjoy it while it lasts.

  6. Escapist says:

    One to four? That’s greed, Ace. Pure greed.


  7. Streetrebbit says:

    In Australia it’s already Tuesday evening, Macworld’s already happened.

    I can’t believe it, everything Moltz predicted came true.

  8. Dreil says:


  9. Sudo Nym says:

    Thor smash!!!

    No, wait… that’s Hulk.

    Thor’s pretty powerful, though. I’ll bet Mjolnir could smash things up pretty good. Maybe good enough for a backstage pass or two.

  10. Psyko says:

    NOTICE: Ignore this post. This is simply here for Psyko to figure out what time it is according to the server.


  11. Psyko says:

    Moltz, why is your server in the wrong time zone? Do you know how tacky that is? Well, it’s really tacky. Even worse than my fashion sense.

    Oh, and 11.


  12. TuCats says:

    Live nude post-event blogging? Uh huh. That’ll get you back on NPR for sure…

  13. Holy Ghostwriter says:

    OK, after fighting nazi germany for so long I’m not up to date. Can someone tell me what it’s all about!? San Francisco, Moscone Center, “There’s something in the Air” et cetera? What kind of event is it you all talking about? Big Avon-Tupperware Party or what!?

  14. digitalcowboy says:

    No way, Streetrebbit! The International Date Line doesn’t really work like a time machine.

    Does it? I’ve always had suspicions. I have an acquaintance in Australia and he always does seem to be prescient. It certainly makes one wonder. I gotta visit there someday. I’ve heard Australia is just like Texas except it’s a freakin’ CONTINENT! That would rock!

    And, uh, Moltz… not even semi. You start anything nude here that isn’t primarily focused on Masako or the Entity’s new JFC form, I’m gone for good.

    No kidding. That’s not a threat. It’s a promise.

  15. Nxxx says:

    Which half is going to be nude, left or right?

  16. Nxxx says:

    Which half is going to be nude, left or right?

  17. Apple Lopsider says:

    Question: when will the Action Apple (TM) Elite Lesbian Ninja action figures be released? I was really disappointed when they weren’t part of the Series I set, but figured it didn’t make sense to release them until they could each be kitted with a throwing-star-firing MacBook Air. Also, will the Series II Action Apple (TM) Attack Helicopter still feature battle noises, real firing sexbot-avoiding-but-other-robots-in-general-seeking missiles, and removable “battle damage” panels?

  18. Chris says:

    I enjoy wrestling in the semi-nude.

  19. Steve G. says:

    Some last-minute Stevenote predictions:

    1. Ponies. With Pants as an accessory. (Hey, if iPods can have Socks, why can’t Ponies have Pants?)
    2. Pudding. In three varieties: iPudding, Pudding over IP, and wireless Pudding.
    3. One More Thing: Sexbots. Late 2008. As long as that bitch Sarah Connor doesn’t screw things up again. Do you know how much of a pain in the ass it is to keep time traveling to stop her from stopping us? If we could just get her toothbrush…

  20. zacksback says:

    We used to have some Lesbian Llamas here at the farm
    but they kept wandering over to Home Depot.

  21. kingthedestroyer says:

    Two theories about killer robots, 1. not really that tough a bunch, Apple took advantage of situation for added secretcy, 2. Apple controlled them all along,
    Just kicked their butts too easily.

  22. CB says:

    I am now 21. Good to be grown up, isn’t it?

  23. CB says:

    ok, 22. i’ll settle for that.

  24. Stephen Johnson says:

    Twitter from John Gruber in the middle of his live keynote coverage:
    “I’m sitting here next to John “CARS” Moltz. Pretty sure he’s drunk.”

  25. Anonymous says:

    Lousiest Keynote in YEARS! wtf would anyone want a Macbook Air for? shaving? Really dissappointed this time…

  26. Coolhandluke says:

    I wouldnt mind one. All of a sudden my 12 inch powerbook seems huge and bulky, and out of date.

    The only thing that makes me groan is the influx of calls thats gonna happen when its finally released. I can hear it now. How are you supposed to reinstall the OS if it doesnt have a FREAKIN optical drive. sheesh!

  27. The Third Billy Goat Gruff says:


    The concept of a troll at a parody site seems pretty lame to me. That or desperate. Or maybe even obsessive.

    What’s your opinion?

  28. Daniel says:

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