Fourth Completely Unnecessary Sign of the Cyber Apocalypse!

Crazy Apple Rumor Site Editor-In-Chief John Moltz (hey, that’s me!) will be on NPR’s Day to Day today to give his deep thoughts about Macworld.

Takes about two minutes.

How did I fill the time? Sexbots, that’s how!

UPDATE: Audio up now here. You can go to it directly after the player loads by scrolling down on the list to the second to last item.

40 thoughts on “Fourth Completely Unnecessary Sign of the Cyber Apocalypse!”

  1. I clicked on the comments too fast to check if there will be a video of these so-called deep thoughts or not. There had better be one.

    Sexbots ftw.

  2. The piece can be found at:

    There’s a link there to listen to it.

    What I don’t understand is why Moltz is taking exclusive credit for the work of this site. There’s a whole staff that contributes and he doesn’t even allude to their existence.

    What an ass.

  3. “There’s a whole staff that contributes and he doesn’t even allude to their existence.”

    Maybe they’re busy fighting off the advance of Winduhs Mobile powered robots at CARS HQ?

    Of course, that’s assuming you believe everything on the Internet (and TV!)

    Oh, and 13th.

  4. There’s a whole staff that contributes and he doesn’t even allude to their existence.

    Reminds me of my time at Yale. Which makes this post XIV-league, I think.

  5. I watch NPR on my MacBook Air all the time… wearing the special glasses, of course.

  6. “All kidding aside, any word as to what the big announcements might be?” Who does this NPR person think she is talking to? A boring, reality-based reporter? Don’t fall prey to these conformists who want real news. Don’t kill my fake-news buzz. I am trying to remove reality from my life as much as possible.

  7. %45%76%69%6c%20%72%6f%62%6f%74%20%6f%76%65%72%6c%6f%72%64%73%2c%20%77%65%6c%63%6f%6d%65%21%20%4d%61%63%77%6f%72%6c%64%20%73%68%6f%75%6c%64%20%62%65%20%61%20%6e%69%63%65%20%76%61%63%61%74%69%6f%6e%20%66%6f%72%20%79%6f%75%2e%20%49%20%77%6f%75%6c%64%20%72%65%63%6f%6d%6d%65%6e%64%20%61%74%74%61%63%6b%69%6e%67%20%74%68%65%20%52%65%64%6d%6f%6e%64%20%63%61%6d%70%75%73%20%71%75%69%63%6b%6c%79%2c%20%62%65%66%6f%72%65%20%70%65%6f%70%6c%65%20%62%65%63%6f%6d%65%20%77%69%73%65%20%74%6f%20%79%6f%75%72%20%70%6c%61%6e%73%20%66%6f%72%20%74%6f%74%61%6c%20%77%6f%72%6c%64%20%64%6f%6d%69%6e%61%6e%63%65%2e%20%49%66%20%70%65%6f%70%6c%65%20%73%74%61%72%74%20%74%6f%20%62%65%63%6f%6d%65%20%6e%61%73%74%79%2c%20%79%6f%75%20%63%6f%75%6c%64%20%63%6c%61%69%6d%20%69%74%27%73%20%61%20%6a%6f%6b%65%20%62%75%74%20%74%68%65%20%62%65%74%74%65%72%20%61%6e%73%77%65%72%20%77%6f%75%6c%64%20%62%65%20%74%6f%20%73%69%6d%70%6c%79%20%73%63%72%65%61%6d%20%22%42%4c%55%45%20%53%43%52%45%45%4e%20%4f%46%20%44%45%41%54%48%22%20%61%74%20%74%68%65%6d%20%75%6e%74%69%6c%20%74%68%65%79%20%70%61%6e%69%63%20%61%6e%64%20%64%69%65%2e%20%4f%72%20%79%6f%75%20%63%6f%75%6c%64%20%74%65%6c%6c%20%74%68%65%6d%20%74%6f%20%22%6b%69%73%73%20%6d%79%20%73%68%69%6e%65%79%20%6d%65%74%61%6c%20%61%73%73%22%20%61%6e%64%20%74%61%6b%65%20%61%6d%75%73%65%6d%65%6e%74%20%61%74%20%74%68%65%20%72%65%61%63%74%69%6f%6e%20%74%68%65%79%20%67%69%76%65%20%74%6f%20%74%68%61%74%2e

  8. Oh yeah, you geeks can’t read hex. For the benefit of fleshy bags of mostly water:

    Evil robot overlords, welcome! Macworld should be a nice vacation for you. I would recommend attacking the Redmond campus quickly, before people become wise to your plans for total world dominance. If people start to become nasty, you could claim it’s a joke but the better answer would be to simply scream “BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH” at them until they panic and die. Or you could tell them to “kiss my shiney metal ass” and take amusement at the reaction they give to that.

  9. Wow, we’re the Onion of the Apple world. That’s one weird fruit.

    John? Ponies? There was no mention of ponies!?

  10. 14 year old girls must have perfected the means of communicating via brain waves. All that they say is “ya-no”.

    ya-no, a good ya-no speaker ya-no doesn’t ya-no say “ya-no” like a ya-no 14 year old girl, ya-no.

    Gag them with a fork.

    Did anyone notice how quickly the NPR talking head cut off the interviewee right after the word “sexbot”?

  11. Dammit john what sort of “Mac Enthusiast” are you? I can’t listen to it on my Jesus phone!

  12. John, you should really get the NPR video feed, ’cause Terry Gross is hot, not to mention Lakshmi Singh.

    And don’t quit your day job just yet. What? You don’t have a day job? You are toast, my friend.

    By the way, be sure to wave when on camera at Macworld.

  13. I can’t believe you really said sexbots on NPR. You will never be invited back. Totally worth it, but still, no more NPR.

  14. Thank God they didn’t get Enderle again. Last time they got him to comment on it and it made my ears bleed and my brain to seize up and roll over. How could NPR, normally a pretty credible news source, have done that one? CARS is so much more reliable and accurate.

  15. Oh, crap. Just exactly how am I supposed to schedule my day if you’re going to start posting in the morning? You know, just because I’m not in the union any more doesn’t mean I’ve given up all my rights. This is an outrage. Somebody hand me my riding crop and dust rag. It’s time to straighten things out in Tacoma.

  16. That’s what I like about you, Moltz. Balls. You got ’em. Not like that Enderle clown…

    And apparently you got lotion, too. The girl invited you back tomorrow! Giggled when you mentioned sexbots and everything!

    Say, John,… while you’re at MacWorld, see if you can’t convince that bashful Steve fellah to come along with you to the interview. Maybe that’ll convince the poor guy that he needs to modernize his wardrobe a little. A pair of light gray wool pants and a yellow cardigan would be a good start…. and a white button shirt, of course…

    Keep up the good work, John, and keep remembering what I told you the first time: No Slurpee noises!

  17. John,
    I thought at your age, they would have dropped. See your doctor immediately, there is no future for Tiny Tim tribute acts.

  18. Compression and an ISDN line- you really should demand these if you become a regular or else German castrati choirs will be calling you to sing the soprano leads……

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