Reports filed with the SEC show that several Apple executives pulled in salaries of over $1 million last year with the notable exception of CEO Steve Jobs who still makes only $1.
As CFO Peter Oppeneheimer and COO Tim Cook note, while the rich life does have its rewards, it’s not everything.
“As much as I love my boat, my genetically bred talking monkey and my diamond-encrusted diamonds,” said Cook, “I’d give it all up for the richness of simply being Steve Jobs.
“I mean, have you seen Steve’s house? No, of course you haven’t. You’re no one. But I have. It’s serene. Beautiful. Immaculate. He lives a life of stately frugality. He eats only what he needs.”
“He breaths only what he needs,” Oppenheimer added.
“Right. I mean, how else could he survive on a salary of $1 a year?” Cook asked.
However, contrary to Cook and Oppenheimer’s supposed insights into Jobs’ monk-like lifestyle, other sources indicate that Jobs has actually supplemented his $1 income in the following ways.
- Sold his comic book collection and used the proceeds to buy a case of Top Ramen and a six pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon.
- When he returned to Apple in 1997, instead of spending his “mad money” for the year, he invested it in government bonds and turned $1,200 into an astounding $1,225.
- Took a second job at the Cupertino Pizza Hut which is kind of humiliating but thanks to his Mercedes SL65 he’s able to maintain a perfect record of delivering pizzas in 30 minutes or less.
- Back in 1973, lifted a mess of quarters from his dad’s dresser. Found them in his pants pocket just last year.
Jobs declined to be interviewed for this story as he had to go meet with his guidance counselor, who thinks he could be applying himself better.