It occurs to me that you guys may not know that not only will I be at Macworld Expo this week, I’ll be doing things. Not live keynote coverage, of course. Apple saw to that (now you know the real reason they don’t do Macworld Expo anymore). But I will be continuing an abusive relationship with my liver, waking up in a strange indy software developer’s booth dressed like Mr. Met and being spooned by Sinbad as well as appearing on a panel with the lovely and talented Dan Moren and some other guy. I’ll also be doing the Mac Pundit Showdown with presumably some even bigger names.
Which is weird, right?
I mean, 9 years ago I was just like you.
Well, OK, not like you. I mean, look at you. I can dress myself without matching animals and I don’t have that – what is that, a goiter? – and never got arrested for public urination.
Never got arrested for public urination.
But I was just another Mac-loving shlub who read rumor sites voraciously in a failing effort to keep ahead of the Apple product announcement curve so I wouldn’t get burned. That didn’t work out at all but now I’m going to be on stage at Macworld probably not being funny. It’s a Cinderella story. Except with more back hair.
OK, sure, some of this is because this is the post-Apple Macworld which is like breaking into the majors by playing for the Nationals, but I still get league minimum and can’t you just let me have this?
Anyway, hope to see you there. I mean that. If you see me, feel free to come up and introduce yourself. As long as I’m not on stage. Succubus-like, I feed on your adoration. Awkwardly. I’ll probably stumble through something meant to be nice that I’ll later realize made me sound like an ass and then we won’t really have anything to say and we’ll stand around uncomfortably for 45 minutes until we’re asked to get out of Mr. Breen’s dressing room. We’ll all laugh about it later. Well, except Chris.
All joking aside, I love Macworld Expo. It’s where I met John Gruber, Sal Soghoian, Merlin Mann, Leo Laporte, Jason Snell, Andy Ihnatko, Adam and Tonya Engst, Chris Breen and lots of other people who are way more talented and smart than I am.
It’s a good time. If you can, come on down. We’d love to see you.
Except Larry.
You know what you did, Larry.
You mean after all that beer, right?
Is there any way someone could fix the Counter Of Comments ?
I can’t count myself (ain’t got enouff fingers…)
And is there any way someone gets a grab on Mr Moltz ? I’ve been told he’s waiting in some pee-stinking jail the hallucinations to stop…
Um… you really don’t want to grab a Moltz…. Trust me on that one.
Moltz Kits on eBay.
Complete with grappling iron, satin covered hand restraints and blindfold for the user.
Nxxx, are you just talking about your Saturday night?
If so, surely you forgot the ‘satsuma and amyl nitrate poppers’?
Problem is haven’t got a wardrobe, rope or a Westminster seat.
Do you think he claimed all the deviant paraphernalia on expenses?
What other crazy stuff will The Brains approve?
Can we get Del some funding?
How about a pony?
Youth, where are you?
Um… I have a ‘Mr. Youth’ on line two… Says he hates us all, and is never coming back.
Rats.
Wow, that’s some blender.
You watched all the videos, didn’t you?
Wait, there’s video? *sigh*
I’ll be back in a couple days…
Well, yes, wow ! Hey ! What a rhythm ! Head-turning pace ! Heart-speeding beats !
Whoo-hoo !
Mmmh. No, in fact, I was just trying to fake some astounding living, as in fact I’m just longing to get a life.
I almost paid the bail for Mr M.
Something hold me back. Fweeeuww !
Had no survival kit…
b,
The Brains are responsible for the funding around here. Any money that you raised, you should use buy beer for everyone.
As this is the 67th comment, if I count the one just above that asks some more pictures (Of Mr Moltz in jail ? Of an iPadded porn eBook ?)
I bought 67 beers, intending to offer that around. Then, unfortunately, I drank the whole, and now I feel a little sick.
Got to get some orgonic cure…
Sorry to interrupt, guys, but did any of you just hear that awful gnawing sound?
To see a really sad!
Very good. Get over it already.