Macworld Expo

It occurs to me that you guys may not know that not only will I be at Macworld Expo this week, I’ll be doing things. Not live keynote coverage, of course. Apple saw to that (now you know the real reason they don’t do Macworld Expo anymore). But I will be continuing an abusive relationship with my liver, waking up in a strange indy software developer’s booth dressed like Mr. Met and being spooned by Sinbad as well as appearing on a panel with the lovely and talented Dan Moren and some other guy. I’ll also be doing the Mac Pundit Showdown with presumably some even bigger names.

Which is weird, right?

I mean, 9 years ago I was just like you.

Well, OK, not like you. I mean, look at you. I can dress myself without matching animals and I don’t have that – what is that, a goiter? – and never got arrested for public urination.

Never got arrested for public urination.

But I was just another Mac-loving shlub who read rumor sites voraciously in a failing effort to keep ahead of the Apple product announcement curve so I wouldn’t get burned. That didn’t work out at all but now I’m going to be on stage at Macworld probably not being funny. It’s a Cinderella story. Except with more back hair.

OK, sure, some of this is because this is the post-Apple Macworld which is like breaking into the majors by playing for the Nationals, but I still get league minimum and can’t you just let me have this?

Anyway, hope to see you there. I mean that. If you see me, feel free to come up and introduce yourself. As long as I’m not on stage. Succubus-like, I feed on your adoration. Awkwardly. I’ll probably stumble through something meant to be nice that I’ll later realize made me sound like an ass and then we won’t really have anything to say and we’ll stand around uncomfortably for 45 minutes until we’re asked to get out of Mr. Breen’s dressing room. We’ll all laugh about it later. Well, except Chris.

All joking aside, I love Macworld Expo. It’s where I met John Gruber, Sal Soghoian, Merlin Mann, Leo Laporte, Jason Snell, Andy Ihnatko, Adam and Tonya Engst, Chris Breen and lots of other people who are way more talented and smart than I am.

It’s a good time. If you can, come on down. We’d love to see you.

Except Larry.

You know what you did, Larry.

70 thoughts on “Macworld Expo”

  1. I just don’t want to read anything later about you following Gruber into the washroom and him giving you a chocolate swirly.


    Well, ok, he probably can’t lift you up that high so let’s just hope he doesn’t mark his territory like Jack Nicholson in Wolf.

  2. Woah . . . woah . . . WOAH.

    There’s a *Macworld* on…?

    Also, even if Breen still has the luxuriant hair, I bet it’s not on his *back*. Oh yes. Score one to CARS. We Rule.

  3. As everyone says, ‘what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas’, I’m not sure this post will actually exist. If it does, I’m not sure I exist.

    Well, at least until I return to sunny San Diego. Where it’s not raining, snowing or incredibly windy(iMoo). It’s just… nice.

    And what is this MacWorld everyone is talking about?

  4. I can’t go to Macworld Expo because anyone I met there would be “way more talented and smart than I am,” and I cherish my sense of smug superiority.

    For the same reason, I never go to White Castle, either.

  5. You meant Incubus, John, didn’t you?

    Or did I just accidentally “out” you?

    But then, how would you explain the back hair?

    I’m gonna stop now, before this gets any wierder…

  6. Re the Pundit Showdown:

    I know well enough what a silly question is, but what the heck is a “sublime” question? Does it get served up with a Marguerita or something?And what sort of a reward could you expect for giving the best answer to one? A big sigh of contentment from the audience? Guess you have to be a professional to understand and appreciate these things.

  7. Who’s tripping down the streets of the city,
    Smilin’ at everybody she sees?
    Who’s reachin’ out to capture a moment?

    Take it away, iMoo! …

  8. John —

    I was going to be offended when you called me “Dad”, but it’s true that I’m significantly older than Apple.

    I’m just upset — you never call, you never write… what kind of a son are you?

  9. Sure, iMoo… thanks! A kind offer like that is something I’ll always Che… Cher…

    I just can’t bring myself to say it.

  10. Nice one Benny! I think iMoo is a bit young for that one though.

    This thread definitely has me goin’ out of my head, but I just can’t take my eyes off [it]…

    @iMoo: you shouldn’t leave those polar bears alone like that.

  11. Huh?, Thank you for the compliment. With me being so young and all… I didn’t know about the bears. Or Da Bears.

    I’m so young, I’m not sure why I am in this Association!

  12. As today’s St. Valentine’s Day, should we send cards to Moltz/Gruber, otherwise he aint gonna get any?

  13. We here in Washington are very proud of our Nationals… just like we’re proud of the job we do clearing the snow from our streets.

  14. @iMoo, that obscure punch line reminds me of my Auntie’s-humor. Normally she was a nice enough lady, but when she got into the Sherry, she’d Frankie behave like an Asch. (That and she had a tendency to Walk Like a Man.)

    And @Huh?, Let’s Hang On for a minute here… it’s beginning to Dawn on me that the lovely and Valli charming iMoo’s knowledge of musical history must Sherry reach back at least as far as December, 1963.

  15. Mac… world?

    Never heard of it. Wake me up when we get to the Mac universe.

    (Sorry, it was either that or a bad joke about rain-wear.)

  16. Perhaps we’re all going about this all wrong. Maybe it’s supposed to be spelled Mac ‘Whirled’?

    So it might just have to do with a whipped dairy topping. That or the Blendtec® Total Blenderâ„¢….

    Or at least that’s what my Pantsâ„¢ are telling me…

  17. Heh, heh… very perceptive, iMoo! That punch line was indeed new to me. Real interesting backstory there. And points to Huh? for the assist!

    My remaining shred of pride demands I add, though, that no crutch was needed for the song titles… they’ve been near and dear since my teens.

  18. @ Huh?- Visualize whirled peas.

    @ Benny- It’s ok about the Google stuff, we all have our weaknesses.

    *Off to Google that blender*

  19. Ummm, we haven’t heard back from John, do you think he made it back home? No report even about his presentation, must have bom…er…killed, yeah, that’s it.

  20. Mr. Moltz is likely in a slackadaisical phase.

    He’s consorting with his muse, hoping for inspiration before expiration.

    Or else he’s at the Beerlympics.

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