Category: CARS

Well, now…

Fortunately, someone in the comments of yesterday’s post wrote something so money that we really needn’t have even gotten out of bed. Frankly, we wish more of you commenters would make yourselves useful around here. You don’t all have to be witty. You could make some coffee or go out for donuts or something.

Setting an example for the rest of you slackers, commenter Rip Ragged came up with some absolutely filthy technology-inspired porn.

….her warm, moist vista engulfed my turgid Zune. “Ubuntu, ubuntu,” she repeated as she climbed from a husky whisper to a shrieking, wildly bucking crescendo, “UBUNTU, UBUNTU.”

I collapsed in her arms and murmured into her ear, “Welcome to the social.”

That’s either our first or second favorite dirty comment of all time. Probably second because it’s technically impossible as the Zune is actually currently incompatible with Vista (or maybe that just makes it dirtier). We won’t tell you what the other comment was but it involved Hello Kitty and the Japanese word for something very naughty.

So, flush with the warm glow of Rip Ragged’s torrid opus, you should be set for the next ten days. Those of you in the states, have a happy Thanksgiving.

For those of you elsewhere…

Carry on.

In the comments, please give me your favorite Saturday morning TV shows from the ’70s and ’80s.

For me it was that one where they drove around in a van in a post-apocalyptic America with a talking chimp.

How fricking boss would that be?

What the hell was the name of that show?

Hmm.

Well, then, of course, there’s always Pee-Wee’s Playhouse.

The staff of Crazy Apple Rumors Site is at Meconi’s Pub & Eatery in beautiful downtown Tacoma doing some Apple source development.

LIVE!

Uh…

LIVE!

Come on into the comments and we’ll prove it.

UPDATE: Here’s some proof. My date time was supposed to be in the bottom right but my camera phone washed it out.

Yeah, no, this week’s not good.

Come back next week.

No, I’m telling you, this week’s no good. We’ve got the thing tomorrow morning and then a haircut on Wednesday. Thursday’s a maybe but we’ve got book club that night and we haven’t even cracked the book. Friday’s no good because Galactica starts up again.

You come back next week.

No. No. Next week.

Next week.

If it’ll make you feel better, you can talk about what your week looks like in the comments.

…

NO. NEXT WEEK.

Ya big malook.

As is now widely known to be truth, Apple will reveal its iPhone at January’s Macworld, setting the cell phone market on its ear (no pun intended) as it did before to the markets for personal computers, digital music and sex with robots.

Think Secret reports that the iPhone will be Cingular-only for the first six months and that Apple expects to sell 25 million in the first year.

Crazy Apple Rumors Site sources confirmed Think Secret’s report and also learned the following:

• The iPhone will come in silver, black and white, but not brown because that’s stupid. I mean, who would do that? Brown’s a horrible color for an electronic device. You’d have to be an idiot to try to… OK, I think I’ve made my point.
• The device will also function as an iPod, with the ability to download music wirelessly. Cingular has not set pricing for download time, but the words “charge them up the ass” were used in several company documents.
• Several times during the development of this deal, Cingular pushed for there to be a little kitty that walked you through the interface. Apple at first declined politely but, when Cingular kept pushing it, had to yell “NO! There isn’t going to be a stupid kitty! That’s stupid! Your idea is stupid! You’re stupid!” Then there was an uncomfortable silence before Apple apologized and said maybe there could be a kitty in there somewhere.
• For some reason the iPhone is actually going to be the size of car battery.
• Neat feature: instead of ringtones, smelltones. “Sniff-sniff. Is that bacon?” “Oh! I have a call!”
• Optional snap-on faceplates make your iPhone feel like buttah.
• Innovative design of hardware and software that works together seamlessly means your iPhone won’t suck donkey dick like all the other phones you’ve had.

In related news, Apple is also rumored to be getting into the market for other premium products, such as HD TVs, olive oil misters and those fancy paper things you put on turkey legs.
Tonight was Apple source building night. There was beer and tequila and one Apple source stole a Red Bull from the waitress and then gave it back to her and we all had a good laugh.

Ha-ha!

Ahhhhhhhh…

Uh, so…

How was your night?