In a rift even greater than that created by the Apple/Watson controversy, the entire Mac web has been divided almost overnight into those who are pro-Apple, known henceforth as Apple Partisans, and those who support Konfabulator, now known as Konfabulistas.
While he has denied willingness to serve such a role, many of the Apple Partisans are looking to Daring Fireball’s John Gruber to lead them.
Indeed, several lesser known Apple web sites have even contacted Gruber requesting to become one of Gruber’s “bitches” in return for protection from the Konfabulistas.
Macs-Ahoy editor Randall Corby said “I’ve seen a few episodes of Oz. I don’t want to find myself in the back of an Apple Store near the Firewire drives surrounded by Konfabulistas and suddenly trying to remember where my ‘happy place’ is.
“Gruber doesn’t have a picture of himself up on his web site but… uh… he seems nice. Is he? Well, whatever. I’ll take my chances with him.”
Meanwhile, the few members of the Mac web who remain unaffiliated in this bitter showdown sighed heavily at the thought of what the coming days will bring.
“Oh, yay!” said a Mac web editor who spoke only on the condition of anonymity. “Because it’s controversies like this that really bring out the best in the Macintosh community! Gaaaah…
“By the way, could you let Aaron Jarvis of Carefree, Ariz. know that he won the pool? He had ‘less than 24 hours’ in the ‘How long will it be before someone calls Apple evil‘ pool.”
So far the battle over whether or not Apple stole the concept of widgets that perform small tasks from Konfabulator has been waged in the spoken and written word. But at the UTC Apple Store this morning, smoldering looks were exchanged as Apple Partisans bumped into Konfabulistas.
“I didn’t know what the hell was going on,” said store manager Sylvia Cuevas. “These two groups were just standing in the iBook section, smoldering at each other. It was a smolder fest. A smolderama. A smolder-off. You could literally see the smoke, they were smoldering so bad.
“Finally, I just threw them out. I said, if you’re not going to buy anything then go smolder over at the Fashion Valley store. There was some whining and complaints about their First Amendment rights to smolder, but they left without incident.”
Crazy Apple Rumors Site was unable to confirm rumors that Arlo Rose was willing to make the whole controversy “go away” in exchange for a 30-inch Cinema Display and a pack of gum.